Submitted 3 days ago by AuroraGlamour@lemmy.ml to [deleted]
I’ve been considering it for a while. She was my neighbor, long-time good friend, and I’ve been into her for a while. We started going on dates and becoming official not too long ago, and I was thinking of moving in with her.
All our families completely support the idea and so does my GF.
It depends on a lot of things.
There is no 1 single answer. Just do it when you (and they) feel comfortable. Considering from a practcal standpoint, do it when both of you are comfortable in sharing their chores, and having dull moments in life.
My girlfriend and I (f) moved in together after two dates. Still going strong 5 years later
I cannot even fathom how this happened.
Glad you two are happy, though. <3
Think, talk, repeat until you reach a conclusion.
I recommend reading about the relationship escalator . although it’s a tool primarily aimed at poly people, even monogamous people can benefit from learning about how you’re allowed to not consent to societal norms.
TLDR: only you can decide if you wanna move in with her, if at all. letting other people tell you how to organize your relationship will only end in misery
When your wife says she’s ready to move to the next level.
I wish you all the best, but make a plan of what you are going to do in case it doesn’t work out.
If you broke up could you afford the rent on your own? What about in a few years time? Consider how much rent will increase in your area.
Do you have somewhere else to go back to, family etc?
Take a multi-day trip beforehand. You should at least experience an abbreviated version of living together before you actually do.
Generally, there are two broad factors that potentially mess things up. Spending long periods with each other (esspecially in a casual setting) and finances. I’d try and think over how well you know her (and she knows you), to try and make sure it won’t be an issue before you commit to it. For example, have you gone on long trips together or spent more than just a weekend together? If you haven’t, maybe try and spend more time together and learn more about each other. If you have, are you confident that you’ll be comfortable spending much more time around her. As for finances, there’s obviously only so much you can learn, but do your general stances align? Have you fought about stuff like that before?
Ultimately, you both should have enough information about the other person to feel comfortable with the idea, and not feel like you’re going in blind. If you’re asking strangers on the internet, its not a good sign, but ultimately you’re the only one who has the information needed to judge.
Sounds like the right time.
Moved in with my wife fairly shortly after we started dating. I’d say within 3-4 months. It just felt right to both of us. Married 20 years now.
Get a new place together, or have her move in with you. Don’t move into her place.
Thank you!! Why not move into her place, may I ask??
What’s stopping you?
Marriage
No way. Fuck that shit.
You learn a lot when you live with someone. It’s best to find out if that’s not gonna work before you sign a legal contact.
Things aren’t so cut and dry:
“Rhoades and Stanley used a representative sample of approximately 1,600 Americans who were married for the first time between 2010 and 2019. The study found that 34% of marriages ended among those who lived together before being engaged, while just 23% of marriages ended among couples who waited until after engagement or marriage to move in together.” - du.edu/…/new-du-study-highlights-risks-living-tog…
This was also an interesting read: Are Couples That Live Together Before Marriage More Likely to Divorce?
And that’s from Psychology Today, which is irreligious.
Christian radicalist.
I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Dan Savage, the romantic advice columnist, says you should not move in together until you have been farting in front of each other for six months.
sanguinepar@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Without stopping? That’s going to chafe.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
I can’t maintain it after I fall asleep for some reason. My wife and I still live in separate houses while we perfect the strategy.
grandel@lemmy.ml 3 days ago
Username checks out
TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Sound guide. I’ll see myself out.
redbr64@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Damn, I had forgotten about Dan, but his advice is generally solid, so… Fart yourself into a domestic partnership!