Treat taking a dump like a sport

Comments

• NeatoBuilds@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  That’s why my dog poops then immediately launches off into a zoomie sprint

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  • Benjaben@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I love the instant good mood they get like that lol

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    • Tikiporch@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I feel like I saw this on a nature doc, but can’t find any references now. Wild dog packs defecate before hunting, but not for the energy boost. The zoomies are to ensure they leave the scent of their poo in the dust, to minimize the chance of the scent causing them to spook their prey. But a dog doesn’t consciously know that, it’s just a naturally selected behavior that has made them better at surviving.

      Do not quote me on this, my all natural intelligence may be hallucinating.

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• JoMiran@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  A true shitpost

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• satans_methpipe@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yeah it prevents you from having to slowly walk your bike up a hill doubled over in pain keeping an eye out for a large bush or high hedge

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  • jaybone@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    This guy bush shits.

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    • xkbx@startrek.website ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Ah, the art of bushit-o

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    • satans_methpipe@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      For sure, not that time though. It was a photo finish for sure.

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• Rooskie91@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Is the power of the pregame dump not common knowledge?

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  • Carnelian@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Everybody starts their fitness journey from a different point

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• Kitathalla@lemy.lol ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Worst experience of my shitting life was when I didn’t defecate prior to the monthly jog. Luckily I could squeeze through the fence of the golf club I was near, and it was early enough nobody was around to ‘report’ me, AND they had the course’s bathroom door unlocked. Now I just exercise at home where there’s a bathroom within safe jumping distance.

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  • Tangent5280@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    With every successive word in your post I was sure it was going to end with you shitting in the bushes.

    Kinda disappointed now to be honest. You owe me one poop in the bushes.

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    • Kitathalla@lemy.lol ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I’ll do you better, and someone out there may know it’s me.

      I once was in a river,

      downstream from many givers,

      and then began to shiver,

      I felt a slide go past my liver.

      There I was alone;

      the house far, and across stone;

      and my south began to groan;

      from my lips I droned, “oh no.”

      I tried to climb the rise,`

      while tightly clamping thighs,

      but as I soon surmised,

      I couldn’t hold the surprise.

      All the river floaters watched,

      as my privacy I botched,

      there right upon the stony swatch,

      what horror flowed right from my crotch.

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  • passiveaggressivesonar@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Welcome to lemmy, glad you’re here. That was hilarious

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  • De_Narm@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I guess you haven’t had bad hemorrhoids yet, lucky you.

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• scytale@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  TIL some people don’t poop before exercising.

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  • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    How is everyone but me doing this on command?? I poop when I poop!

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  • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Before, during, after… just make it part of the routine.

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    • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      4 sets of 12 reps each butt clenches, 4 minute static hold of the butt cheeks together, then fart until failure.

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• Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  A good warm-up poop gets your heart rate up

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• Iheartcheese@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I’m good at the pooping part

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• HowAbt2morrow@futurology.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Keeping the ole sphincter clinched requires an immense of amount of energy and focus. Definitely distracting.

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• nufan8001@lemmynsfw.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I’m going for the high score!

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• Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  So, being a shitty athlete might actually literally be the problem?

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