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Pills (Take Two)

⁨275⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨balderdash9@lemmy.zip⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/ba18bf49-858d-49b0-8536-25af23972926.webp

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Comments

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  • Kowowow@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    If the shoebox one just magically removes stuff instead of needing real work or duplicating stuff then you could skip a lot of surgery, or just need with someone by asking for the bones in their hand or something

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    • Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      1 shoebox of 24 carats gold please.

      But the answer to one question is worth way more ofc.

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      • pennomi@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        One shoebox of antimatter, thanks

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  • dodgy_bagel@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Just throwing this out there… Summoning a DR pepper ANYWHERE is OP as fuck.

    If you were a hitman, you couldn’t exactly make it look like an accident, but you definitely wouldn’t leave an evidence trail.

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    • crusty@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You could summon a dr pepper up your enemy’s ass every 14.5 hours

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      • GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Why just enemies?

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    • UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I thought exactly the same about controlling a millilitre of water. You could straight up behead people on sight and leave basically no trace at all - just a suspiciously clean cut

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    • elvith@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      but you definitely wouldn’t leave an evidence trail.

      Yes, officer. It’s the second victim that died from a Dr. Pepper can randomly falling on their head today. As the two other ones yesterday and the two the day before yesterday…

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      • atocci@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        You need to think more like a stand user. Your lungs are now filled with 「Dr. Pepper」

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    • samus12345@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      It also doesn’t specify what a “Dr Pepper” is, exactly. Can I summon a container the size of a mountain with it?

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    • helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Dr. Pepper strikes again

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  • eager_eagle@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    ez

    “strawberry flavor” and “tastes good”

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    • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      It’s obviously a BAD Strawberry’s flavor, though… Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer controlling a miniscule amount of water?

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  • ImWaitingForRetcons@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    My glitch: summon a Dr. Pepper can into Trump’s brain, then into Biden’s brain after 14.5 hrs, then Netanyahu’s, then Putin’s, then the evil Sudanese dudes’, then Xi Jinping’s, and so on and so forth.

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    • Transwithvans@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I like your thinking

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  • Allero@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    So essentially there’s a lot of OP pills here:

    • Change skin color - wow, a great help in a heist or to make magic shows
    • Control all TVs in fast food places - you can literally roll unbannable propaganda for everyone to see! *Teleport to closest beach at any time - again, absolute save in heist; also, you’d be an amazing courier for some saltwater port!
    • Turds are silver - that’s a loooot of silver
    • Summon a Dr.Pepper every 14,5 hours anywhere - just summon it into someone’s head or into some mechanism and enjoy the show
    • Immune to cancer - now you’re the leading patient for research against cancer! You are the key to ending it once and for all!
    • Control a single milliliter of water - you’ll be a God of precise technology. Also, you can probably misplace a bit of important fluid in the body to kill a person.
    • Get the answer to any question once - that could be anything! The meaning of life, the universal physical theory, the way to build a just and wonderful world…you name it.
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    • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Change skin color - wow, a great help in a heist

      Make skin white. Rob bank. Make skin nonwhite. Get arrested for “fitting the description.”

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  • drathvedro@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Collapse civilization and “kill any one person of your choosing” on myself

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    • Allero@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You can kill yourself without a pill; better take strawberry one

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      • drathvedro@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Eh, I don’t like sweets. Besides, I’d rather not do it on my own. I’d only prefer it if there was another pill to leave some sort of last “fuck you” to the humanity.

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    • grrgyle@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Hell you can just run for American president and off yourself in a bunker if that’s all you want

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      • drathvedro@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        What’s a president after the civilization has collapsed?

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  • Matriks404@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I am not a materialist but nothing catches my eye that is good enough, so:

    1. 3 million dollars.
    2. A shoebox of like the rarest material that I could sell, but not something that can kill me or which half-life causes it to “evaporate” in a second.
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  • egonallanon@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Anyone who is saying anything other than take the random pill twice is a coward.

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  • GBU_28@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Do I have full phase and state control of that 1 ml of water, and can also move it around, magneto style? Do I always keep all 1ml in my control?

    You could cause a lot of havoc with that

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    • Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      >choose 1ml water pill

      >form it into a needle

      >kill everyone ITT

      >collect all of their pills

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  • xfts@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Immune to cancer And just to annoy people the “Make bell sounds at will” one

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  • AceFuzzLord@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Under normal circumstances, the black random pill would be completely up my alley, but not today.

    With the shoebox pill, depending on shoebox size, I would give myself 5,000 $100USD bills ($500,000 total). Never said a thing about not getting money in the process, just that it has to exist.

    Also, the bottom right corner 5 months experience pill. Definitely 5 months experience in charisma based manipulation (in both text and vocal form if possible) so I could get slightly ahead of others in life. Gotta work smarter, not harder sometimes.

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  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    “Change your skin color instantly any time” and “teleport to the closest beach at any time”. I’ll use them to rob banks. Before robbing the bank I’ll change my skin color, and once I get the money I’ll escape by teleporting to the beach - while changing my skin color at the same time (not to my original skin color though - that one I’ll only use once I’m completely safe)

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    • Notyou@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      This is assuming you teleport other things besides just yourself. You might just poof to the beach nude.

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      • AeonFelis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        So I should only use that power when I’m near a nudist beach?

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  • Ledivin@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Shoebox full of gold. If my math is right, that comes out to roughly $8M or so

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    • derpgon@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Throw in a winning Eurojackpot ticket and a USB drive with some bitcoin.

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      • BobTheDestroyer@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        The USB drive has wallet keys to every lost or forgotten bitcoin wallet since bitcoin was new.

        “According to Fortune, around 2.9 million Bitcoins have been lost”

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  • bruhduh@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Teleport to closest beach at any time and control body temperature, i mean, if i teleport to closest beach in winter or cold weather what am i gonna do?

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    • samus12345@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Leaving the beach when you’re done would be the problem.

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    • undefinedValue@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Escape your enemies

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  • mononomi@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Get the answer to any question seems like it would make me the next Einstein. Or the answer would be 42.

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  • RoyaltyInTraining@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Can you choose where Dr. Pepper bottle is summoned? If yes, you could just summon one in the throats of Putin, Trump, any anyone else who is a threat to global peace.

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  • jpablo68@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Groundhog day for a year and immune to cancer is the only sane choice.

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  • the_dopamine_fiend@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    π million dollars and perfectly nutritious chocolate.

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  • unimalion@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Black pill twice

    22: nostrils 6: kill 1 person 13: collapse civilization 24: Black pill (again) 1: control all tvs in fast food 7: plants talk

    I didn’t want civilization to collapse but at least the plants will keep me company

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  • Thcdenton@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Fucking Roll

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  • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Free fiberglass powder makes a great pocket sand

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    • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Use both just in case.

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  • TheCheddarCheese@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    5 months experience and eat wood. duh.

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  • robocall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    If you had the “summon a dr. pepper every 14.5 hours anywhere” you could send those dr. peppers to Palestine to help fight the famine.

    but honestly, there are other parts of the world that have famine too. You could stay busy your whole life sending dr. peppers.

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    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That’s lame. Put them inside your enemies skulls.

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    • robocall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      or if you can manage to travel to those famine-stricken places, you could take the 9000+ calorie cheese and feed people

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  • Vej@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Money, immunity to cancer.

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  • bogdugg@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Assuming the shoebox pill couldn’t be used for more pills (such as, more shoebox pills)…

    Groundhog Day pill + 5 months experience pill, could be pretty good.

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  • A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Money and sleep ones

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  • nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    5 months experience and the answer to any one question

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  • Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’ll take the green one and the blueish thank you very much.

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