Too embarrassed to crank one at the hospital, but not too embarrassed to have a machine suck you off while you stand at the row of machines with all the other donors. Urinal etiquette does apply, btw! Don’t be That Guy who goes straight for the middle BJ Bot!
Milking machine
Submitted 2 years ago by funny@lemmus.org to [deleted]
https://i.imgflip.com/8ao51c.gif
Comments
CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 2 years ago
londos@lemmy.world 2 years ago
If they configure them face to face, they could probably build one machine that jerks off two donors at the same time, on the upstroke and downstroke.
APassenger@lemmy.world 2 years ago
We’d have to account for their height, wouldn’t we?
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 1 year ago
Accidental docking machine
ericisshort@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I’d hope they’d at least be in stalls so that I can only see the feet of the dudes getting sucked off on either side of me.
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
We’ll you can hold hands with buddy on next machine. Helps to make itess stressful
Red_October@lemmy.world 2 years ago
That’s disgusting. Where would you even buy a horrible machine like that, and how much would that terrible thing cost with shipping?
SmoothIsFast@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Search “banana cleaner” on Amazon
asbestos@lemmy.world 2 years ago
I’m sorry Dave, I can’t let you not cum
cooopsspace@infosec.pub 2 years ago
Ransomware: pay 5BTC or I’ll bite your dick off
Lober@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
Keeping these things sanitary must be a nightmare
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 2 years ago
My ex used to help everyone out like this too.
mariusafa@lemmy.sdf.org 2 years ago
How kind of her
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 2 years ago
They shared with everyone so much there was nothing left for me.
_Sprite@lemmy.world 2 years ago
FeetinMashedPotatoes@lemmy.world 2 years ago
When you nut but the milking machine keeps milking
HeyJoe@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Is there a version that talks back to you? “Give me your sperm baby”.
EnderMB@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Hopefully it has customisable options - different voices, a setting to throw insults at you while it extracts the baby batter, and a FF victory jingle once you’ve nutted.
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 2 years ago
What if I need prostate stimulation?
AlfredEinstein@lemmy.world 2 years ago
HAL 9000: “Best I can do is slap your testicles, Dave.”
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
Ask buddy to help
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 1 year ago
Then just cum into the jar during a prostate exam like everyone else, unless you’re too good for that 🙄
SirBucksworth@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Where can i get one? For research purposes of course…
Notyou@sopuli.xyz 2 years ago
Just Google autoblow. You might have to add a stool or something.
RGB3x3@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Just went to their website and that shit looks like a parody of itself.
But for $220…
londos@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Guys, does girth similarity affect the machine’s ability to jerk off different patients?
daed@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Someone get the whiteboard…
db2@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Why is it so small though
Thermal_shocked@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Asians made it?
db2@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Well that took a wrong turn quick.
Thcdenton@lemmy.world 2 years ago
DriftinGrifter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 years ago
We need someone to replace their door handle with this
PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Everything reminds me of her.
theangryseal@lemmy.world 2 years ago
If I seem a little out of it, sorry.
sagrotan@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Send location
spacesweedkid27@lemmy.world 2 years ago
See you stick your utter in the machine and it just pumps the milk right into the container, ready to be processed.
negativeyoda@lemmy.world 2 years ago
Hook one of these up to a Sybian and let the machines fuck one another. Metaphors abound
kusivittula@sopuli.xyz 2 years ago
if we had these i would donate twice a day.
AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 2 years ago
So what’s the machine version of eskimo brothers?
mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 2 years ago
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 1 year ago
So much money spent on these machine when they could just hire an on-site hooker
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 1 year ago
If they have any extras hmu
Mango@lemmy.world 2 years ago
WTB
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
Oh man, I have this problem to a high degree. Almost anywhere outside the home I’m embarrassed to masturbate. I feel this way at the grocery, the laundromat, even dentists office. Hospitals are intimidating, so it’s a great place to start, but there are lots of places we should be putting these. Hopefully they come out with a portable version to make this something that we don’t need to be embarrassed about anywhere really.
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 years ago
Would be nice to see these in supermarkets and malls, maybe in restaurants so you could pay part of the bill in cum
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 years ago
Well, it’s more likely to catch on than real world applications of crypto at least.
lseif@sopuli.xyz 2 years ago
im sorry to say but its just a cope. these machines will never replace the experience of cranking one out in a public restroom
bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 2 years ago
On the other hand, the amount of people that are at ease pulling their pork in public is too damn high.