Too embarrassed to crank one at the hospital, but not too embarrassed to have a machine suck you off while you stand at the row of machines with all the other donors. Urinal etiquette does apply, btw! Don’t be That Guy who goes straight for the middle BJ Bot!
Milking machine
Submitted 1 year ago by funny@lemmus.org to [deleted]
https://i.imgflip.com/8ao51c.gif
Comments
CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 1 year ago
londos@lemmy.world 1 year ago
If they configure them face to face, they could probably build one machine that jerks off two donors at the same time, on the upstroke and downstroke.
APassenger@lemmy.world 1 year ago
We’d have to account for their height, wouldn’t we?
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 1 year ago
Accidental docking machine
ericisshort@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’d hope they’d at least be in stalls so that I can only see the feet of the dudes getting sucked off on either side of me.
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
We’ll you can hold hands with buddy on next machine. Helps to make itess stressful
Red_October@lemmy.world 1 year ago
That’s disgusting. Where would you even buy a horrible machine like that, and how much would that terrible thing cost with shipping?
SmoothIsFast@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Search “banana cleaner” on Amazon
asbestos@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’m sorry Dave, I can’t let you not cum
cooopsspace@infosec.pub 1 year ago
Ransomware: pay 5BTC or I’ll bite your dick off
Lober@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
Keeping these things sanitary must be a nightmare
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 1 year ago
My ex used to help everyone out like this too.
mariusafa@lemmy.sdf.org 1 year ago
How kind of her
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 1 year ago
They shared with everyone so much there was nothing left for me.
_Sprite@lemmy.world 1 year ago
FeetinMashedPotatoes@lemmy.world 1 year ago
When you nut but the milking machine keeps milking
HeyJoe@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Is there a version that talks back to you? “Give me your sperm baby”.
EnderMB@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Hopefully it has customisable options - different voices, a setting to throw insults at you while it extracts the baby batter, and a FF victory jingle once you’ve nutted.
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 year ago
What if I need prostate stimulation?
AlfredEinstein@lemmy.world 1 year ago
HAL 9000: “Best I can do is slap your testicles, Dave.”
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
Ask buddy to help
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 1 year ago
Then just cum into the jar during a prostate exam like everyone else, unless you’re too good for that 🙄
SirBucksworth@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Where can i get one? For research purposes of course…
Notyou@sopuli.xyz 1 year ago
Just Google autoblow. You might have to add a stool or something.
RGB3x3@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Just went to their website and that shit looks like a parody of itself.
But for $220…
londos@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Guys, does girth similarity affect the machine’s ability to jerk off different patients?
daed@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Someone get the whiteboard…
db2@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Why is it so small though
Thermal_shocked@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Asians made it?
db2@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Well that took a wrong turn quick.
Thcdenton@lemmy.world 1 year ago
DriftinGrifter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
We need someone to replace their door handle with this
PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Everything reminds me of her.
theangryseal@lemmy.world 1 year ago
If I seem a little out of it, sorry.
sagrotan@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Send location
spacesweedkid27@lemmy.world 1 year ago
See you stick your utter in the machine and it just pumps the milk right into the container, ready to be processed.
negativeyoda@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Hook one of these up to a Sybian and let the machines fuck one another. Metaphors abound
kusivittula@sopuli.xyz 1 year ago
if we had these i would donate twice a day.
AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 1 year ago
So what’s the machine version of eskimo brothers?
mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 1 year ago
So much money spent on these machine when they could just hire an on-site hooker
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 1 year ago
If they have any extras hmu
AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 1 year ago
“Embarrassed”
Mango@lemmy.world 1 year ago
WTB
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Oh man, I have this problem to a high degree. Almost anywhere outside the home I’m embarrassed to masturbate. I feel this way at the grocery, the laundromat, even dentists office. Hospitals are intimidating, so it’s a great place to start, but there are lots of places we should be putting these. Hopefully they come out with a portable version to make this something that we don’t need to be embarrassed about anywhere really.
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 year ago
Would be nice to see these in supermarkets and malls, maybe in restaurants so you could pay part of the bill in cum
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Well, it’s more likely to catch on than real world applications of crypto at least.
lseif@sopuli.xyz 1 year ago
im sorry to say but its just a cope. these machines will never replace the experience of cranking one out in a public restroom
bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 1 year ago
On the other hand, the amount of people that are at ease pulling their pork in public is too damn high.