Too embarrassed to crank one at the hospital, but not too embarrassed to have a machine suck you off while you stand at the row of machines with all the other donors. Urinal etiquette does apply, btw! Don’t be That Guy who goes straight for the middle BJ Bot!
Milking machine
Submitted 11 months ago by funny@lemmus.org to [deleted]
https://i.imgflip.com/8ao51c.gif
Comments
CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 11 months ago
londos@lemmy.world 11 months ago
If they configure them face to face, they could probably build one machine that jerks off two donors at the same time, on the upstroke and downstroke.
APassenger@lemmy.world 11 months ago
We’d have to account for their height, wouldn’t we?
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 10 months ago
Accidental docking machine
ericisshort@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I’d hope they’d at least be in stalls so that I can only see the feet of the dudes getting sucked off on either side of me.
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
We’ll you can hold hands with buddy on next machine. Helps to make itess stressful
Red_October@lemmy.world 11 months ago
That’s disgusting. Where would you even buy a horrible machine like that, and how much would that terrible thing cost with shipping?
SmoothIsFast@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Search “banana cleaner” on Amazon
asbestos@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I’m sorry Dave, I can’t let you not cum
cooopsspace@infosec.pub 11 months ago
Ransomware: pay 5BTC or I’ll bite your dick off
Lober@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Keeping these things sanitary must be a nightmare
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 11 months ago
My ex used to help everyone out like this too.
mariusafa@lemmy.sdf.org 11 months ago
How kind of her
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 11 months ago
They shared with everyone so much there was nothing left for me.
_Sprite@lemmy.world 11 months ago
FeetinMashedPotatoes@lemmy.world 11 months ago
When you nut but the milking machine keeps milking
HeyJoe@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Is there a version that talks back to you? “Give me your sperm baby”.
EnderMB@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Hopefully it has customisable options - different voices, a setting to throw insults at you while it extracts the baby batter, and a FF victory jingle once you’ve nutted.
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 11 months ago
What if I need prostate stimulation?
AlfredEinstein@lemmy.world 11 months ago
HAL 9000: “Best I can do is slap your testicles, Dave.”
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Ask buddy to help
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 10 months ago
Then just cum into the jar during a prostate exam like everyone else, unless you’re too good for that 🙄
SirBucksworth@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Where can i get one? For research purposes of course…
Notyou@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
Just Google autoblow. You might have to add a stool or something.
RGB3x3@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Just went to their website and that shit looks like a parody of itself.
But for $220…
londos@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Guys, does girth similarity affect the machine’s ability to jerk off different patients?
daed@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Someone get the whiteboard…
db2@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Why is it so small though
Thermal_shocked@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Asians made it?
db2@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Well that took a wrong turn quick.
Thcdenton@lemmy.world 11 months ago
DriftinGrifter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months ago
We need someone to replace their door handle with this
PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Everything reminds me of her.
theangryseal@lemmy.world 11 months ago
If I seem a little out of it, sorry.
sagrotan@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Send location
spacesweedkid27@lemmy.world 11 months ago
See you stick your utter in the machine and it just pumps the milk right into the container, ready to be processed.
negativeyoda@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Hook one of these up to a Sybian and let the machines fuck one another. Metaphors abound
kusivittula@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
if we had these i would donate twice a day.
AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 11 months ago
So what’s the machine version of eskimo brothers?
mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 10 months ago
So much money spent on these machine when they could just hire an on-site hooker
MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 10 months ago
If they have any extras hmu
AbsoluteChicagoDog@lemm.ee 11 months ago
“Embarrassed”
Mango@lemmy.world 11 months ago
WTB
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Oh man, I have this problem to a high degree. Almost anywhere outside the home I’m embarrassed to masturbate. I feel this way at the grocery, the laundromat, even dentists office. Hospitals are intimidating, so it’s a great place to start, but there are lots of places we should be putting these. Hopefully they come out with a portable version to make this something that we don’t need to be embarrassed about anywhere really.
hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Would be nice to see these in supermarkets and malls, maybe in restaurants so you could pay part of the bill in cum
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Well, it’s more likely to catch on than real world applications of crypto at least.
lseif@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
im sorry to say but its just a cope. these machines will never replace the experience of cranking one out in a public restroom
bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 11 months ago
On the other hand, the amount of people that are at ease pulling their pork in public is too damn high.