Sorry, vampires

Comments

• CorrenteAlternata@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  my vampire when she realises that I’m not taking any psychiatric meds…

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  • khanh@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    your vampire?!?!?! tell me how

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    • crunchy@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      So, you know how farmers own dairy cows…?

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    • hansolo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Sadly, energy vampire. Just an overbearing friend that doesn’t know when to go home.

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    • CorrenteAlternata@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I wish I knew…

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  • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    they probably can smell it. vampires have all thier senses enhanced.

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• rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Captioned screenshot set from “What We Do in the Shadows” of the vampire Nandor gleefully wearing a traffic cone on his head and saying, “We drank the blood of some people, but those people were on drugs, and now I am a wizard!”

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• Malica@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Drugs too, nobody raw dogging reality right now.

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  • cruseo@piefed.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Except for the micro plastics, those are all drugs. One of them was even recreational, depending on the state.

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    • caseyweederman@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Actually that one was a macroplastic

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  • Akasazh@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You mean drugs other than there Tylenol, psychiatric drugs and marijuana mentioned in op?

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    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Well marijuana is barely a drug nowadays, the psychiatric medicine could be anything from a mild antidepressant to meth to xanax though, so that may or may not count as not raw dogging reality

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  • Stolas@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

    I take my pills and I’m happy all the time, happy all the time, happy all the time.

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• SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Where the fuck have all the free range, organic humans gone? 😭

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  • crunchy@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Dead from diseases that were eradicated generations ago

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    • TheWordBotcher@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Every one? Oh when, oh when will they learn?

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    • SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Those lives we are a small price to pay, at least from the perspective of the vampire.

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  • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    All the granola moms turned conservative

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• Lydia_K@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Become undrinkable

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• sundray@lemmus.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Of, for the good old days of blood flavored with opium and copious amounts of gin 🧛.

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  • hansolo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I mean, opioids aplenty out there in the world right now.

    Not like someone doing the fentanyl lean is going to run.

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    • sundray@lemmus.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If we’re going to be real for a minute, there’s a tragic, unbroken line from the warehouses of half-living bodies filling the old opium dens, to the modern streets of fenty zombies, and that line is human misery. It’s heartbreaking that with the slightest effort from a billionaire or two, they could reduce the misery somewhat, but they refuse.

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• Doomsider@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  A great premise for s dystopian vampire story where their is no safe unadultered human blood left in the world and vampires are all dying.

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  • homosapien@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Do vampires have to drink human blood? Could they just survive off of cows or ticks?

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• homosapien@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Vampires have been drinking blood since when they put lead miners in a cramped cage with eachother

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  • homosapien@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    the victorian duchess with arsenic gowns couldn’t have better blood than you

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  • frog@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Lead is a sweetener.

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• Hellvampire@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Why do you think I’m hiding in hell? It was more fun when it was a surprise beer or rum. Now everyone is full of this shit…

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• Hal@piefed.nz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Vampires when they realise the concentration of garlic in my blood

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• Nonprophet@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Any vampire that sucks my blood owes me at least $40 bucks.

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• Etterra@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Why are the vampires draining our children’s blood?

  Vampires: Every single one of you is on a random cocktail of drugs.

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• frozen@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  No joke, I got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as an adult and noticed that mosquitos avoid me like that plague now that I’m on insulin. Went to a lake infamous for their giant mosquitos and walked away from the weekend with 1 bite, no bug spray. When I was younger, I would’ve been lucky to only leave with 10 or 12.

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  • CalypsoGirl@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Now you’ve got me curious regarding the fate of that one mosquito who drank your unpalatable blood.

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• ms_lane@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  www.youtube.com/shorts/3wNENerrFrU

  Become a Wizard!

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• Greystripeycat@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  My first real laugh today 😂. At least a vampire biting me would be super chill for the next 24 hours. 🤣🤣🤣

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• DagwoodIII@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  https://youtu.be/Ogi6vHFfEP4

  [off topic?]

  Vampire can only feed off of those who love him.

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• spitfire@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Reminds me of that quest in Witcher 3 where Geralt had to get drunk to lure a lower vampire.

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• stickyprimer@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  It’s kinda true. We clutch our pearls about what enters our bodies while we’re alive but then the second we are dead our bodies qualify as toxic waste.

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