pay some prostitutes to come to your thanksgiving dinner and debate your uncle on his ideas about immigrants.
And yet I have to listen to my uncle rant and rave about immigrants and pretend it's okay.
Submitted 1 year ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/d2685094-184a-4d4d-9de3-329006ce2750.png
Comments
Narrrz@kbin.social 1 year ago
partial_accumen@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Pay the prostitutes to argue for MAGA and fascism and watch the uncle be upset in having to agree with a prostitute.
Kase@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Bonus points if the uncle argues against MAGA and fascism so that he won’t have to agree with a prostitute.
100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 1 year ago
I would splurge and get me a prostitute with a PhD in International Relations or stuff like that.
Decoy321@lemmy.world 1 year ago
The trick is to force everyone to sit on the same side of the table.
Narrrz@kbin.social 1 year ago
they only did that for the painting.
Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 1 year ago
So crazy that people still believe this.
The other twelve disciples (Bobert, Dave, Big Dave, Little Dave, Deathlord, Dolores, Fifibelle, Larry, Lucifer, Tarquin, and Zebuchenezuzuzuzechazzachuah) were on the other side of the table.
Who do you think took the photo? Do you think Jesus had a selfie-stick? SMH.
Yamainwitch@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Jesus was a homeboy, follow his lead: drink wine, hang with the homies, be chill with the hoes, pass the snacks and wreck a market in a mega church.
redcalcium@lemmy.institute 1 year ago
The key differences here is “inviting” vs “paying”.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Who says you can’t invite some prostitutes to Thanksgiving dinner? Even a hooker’s gotta eat.
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Even a hooker’s gotta eat.
That’s what ho cakes are for.
Kase@lemmy.world 1 year ago
One might consider this paying them with food, but you could say the same about Jesus, so it tracks
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Wait a second, when did I become a moderator of Lemmy Shitpost? I mean I don’t mind, but no one told me!
r00ty@kbin.life 1 year ago
Congratulations, I guess. Now, get to work!
rockSlayer@lemmy.world 1 year ago
If you get bored, tell your uncle that the easiest way to stop illegal immigration is to dissolve national borders
WaxedWookie@lemmy.world 1 year ago
…and the easiest way to stop gender ideology (whatever the fuck that’s supposed to be) being forced on our children is to abolish gender.
Vuraniute@thelemmy.club 1 year ago
THAT’S WHAT V2 IS FOR
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 year ago
I don’t think Jesus asked the prostitutes to give him handies under the dinner table.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Missed opportunity.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Jesus doesn’t have to ask.
Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 year ago
Jesus prefers footsies.
gmtom@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Ofc not, that what the decides are for
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Guess ho’s coming to dinner
Yearly1845@reddthat.com 1 year ago
At least it’s just your uncle. I have to listen to my dad bitch and moan about how many muslims he saw today while he’s fucking me.
ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 1 year ago
That ended weirdly specific. Looks at username Oh yea, that makes sense now.
doingthestuff@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Jesus sounds like the best dude in this scenario.
JasonHears@feddit.nl 1 year ago
Oh shit. Maybe Donald Trump is the next messiah.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 year ago
His followers sure seem to think so.
Kase@lemmy.world 1 year ago
He sure seems to think so too
Emerald@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Image Transcription: Twitter
Steve vs Ninjas @stevevsninjas
Jesus invited prostitutes to dine with him and he’s the light of the world, I do it and I’m “making Thanksgiving awkward.”
PatFussy@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Its because you are the prostitute your uncle brought and everyone hates +1s
half_built_pyramids@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I like to bring up 1 Samuel 18:27.
ericisshort@lemmy.world 1 year ago
If you’re gonna bring it up, at least quote the damn verse. Not a lot of us have the Bible memorized.
half_built_pyramids@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Going on this journey yourself is part of the magic. Encourage your relatives to do the same.
spoiler
If someone at the table actually knows the verse ask them if they would collect 200 foreskins if Trump asked them to.
josefo@leminal.space 1 year ago
It’s Thanksgiving dumbass, prostitutes have no place there, that’s for Christmas. You should bring a Native American to true honor the tradition. If he or she happens to be a prostitute, or you have enough trust, ensure a very loud fuck that night, and please keep yelling “thanks for this” so everyone knows you are thankful.
Jeez, some people just mix shit up
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 year ago
What if you can’t find a Native American but you can find a Pilgrim?
josefo@leminal.space 1 year ago
Technically, you should bring them to a Native American house. Unless is a prostitute pilgrim, then you can bring them to your house, but the custom then is fucking in the nearest bathroom during the dinner, same audio cues apply. Bonus points if you as the host get pegged by them.
Pilokyoma@mujico.org 1 year ago
ex prostitutes
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 year ago
No, he healed the lepers, not the hookers.
Kase@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Are we inviting them too? Is leprosy still a thing, even?
imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Prove it
STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 1 year ago
We are all prostitutes in some way, shape or form under capitalism. Tell them that at thanksgiving and example that renting yourself to a company to drive trucks, scan tills,deliver pizza is not that different to renting yourself out for sex. Both involve you doing a service for others in exchange for cash.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 year ago
This is the sort of lighthearted shitpost response I always hope for when I post something like this.
MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Isn’t prostitution usually exploited by organized crime?
100_percent_a_bot@lemmy.world 1 year ago
One could quivle about the difference between prostitution and sex work but generally speaking you are correct
Outtatime@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
What a great point.
The communist prostitute is so much better
Justas@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
Seize the means of reproduction!