An attractive girl talking to me for more than a few sentences is automatically sending mixed messages. Obviously they donât like me, why are they talking to me? Iâm confused.
The cashier said "hello" instead of "hi" đł
Submitted âšâš2â© âšweeksâ© agoâ© by âšHomo_Erectus@lemmy.zipâ© to âš[deleted]â©
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/37f6e5e8-8136-4fd4-be64-e718715ae5b4.avif
Comments
BillyGruff82@lemmy.dbzer0.com âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
And even if they out rightly say they like me they are probably just being nice and I should laugh and carry on with my day.
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Me, 35 years ago, walking through a mall. Two girls cat-called (whistle) me from the second floor railing.
I still think about that sometimes.
SirSamuel@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Iâve chosen to adopt random acts of male positivity. I make a point of stopping random male presenting strangers (Iâm cis het male, randomly stopping women to complement them is not a realistic option) and just saying something like âhey dude, that hair is magnificent, keep being awesome manâ and promptly leaving.
Itâs not completely altruistic, I must admit. Watching a strangerâs face go from puzzled/suspicious through relieved, pleasantly surprised and ending in (usually) happy is an absolute joy.
coolie4@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
I make a point of stopping random male presenting strangers (Iâm cis het male, randomly stopping women to complement them is not a realistic option)
Iâm settled down now, but not too long ago I had a lot of great results that started with approaching women on the street. Thereâs definitely a specific way to do it, because Iâve seen a lot of wannabe pickup artists completely disrespecting women, and thatâs not it.
Women are people too. If you can talk to a random man, you can talk to a random woman. You literally start off exactly the same and only start escalating if they seem like theyâre enjoying the interaction.
SirSamuel@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
This particular style is kinda confrontational, generally starting with a firm âExcuse me, sirâ or âHey Chiefâ
Also Iâm an obese middle aged balding white guy. Once i get a little older and my beard gets whiter Iâll have a little more leeway. Iâm aware of the inherent power differential that exists with some people because of my appearance alone. I donât obsess over it, Iâm just cognizant of it. My goal is to make people, especially people that may not always get a positive reaction from their outward appearance, feel a little better about themselves. But also just everyone, really. I want to be positive
That being said, I was in a Home Depot the other day and passed a woman that had a sweet piece of art worked into her undercut. She had her braids pulled to the opposite side of her head to show it off. As I approached her on my way somewhere else we made eye contact. I took the opportunity to smile big with my eyes and a little with my mouth, tap the side of my head, and say âThatâs freakin awesome. Love it!â The response was immediate, genuine, and super positive. In two seconds I was past her, moving on with my life. It was a good moment. A life made of these is a good life.
So yeah, if the situation is right, Iâm an equal opportunity complementer. Iâm also happily married, so itâs not like itâs a ploy. But I have a skin condition that prevents me from wearing a ring most of the time, and, again, Iâm aware of the dynamics of my appearance. Anyway, youâre right women are people too, just people that have a 1 in 4 chance of having been abused/assaulted in a way I never have been, by âpeopleâ the same gender as me. So Iâm cautious of making them uncomfortable while just trying to live their lives
You couldnât know that from my comment tho, itâs all good. Love you and hope you have a great day đ
Feyr@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Yeah but if you stop to talk to a random woman thereâs a non zero chance that you end up in jail and accused of sexual assault
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Girl at work that I have a crush on smiled at me today and said hi. That will sustain me for the rest of the year.
RedGreenBlue@lemmy.zip âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
The bas is usually a little lower:
- Show respect
- Be polite
- Donât assault her
- Be good looking
seblin@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Donât even need the good looking tbh
BartyDeCanter@piefed.social âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Also, and this is the cheat code to all relationships, regardless of gender:, be interested in them. Ask them questions about themselves and their interests instead of just trying to impress them with how great you are. Even, maybe especially, if you think you know something about what theyâre taking about, play slightly dumb and ask questions.
PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
This lines up with what the ever-quotable Talleyrand once said:
âIf you wish to be popular in society consent to be taught many things you already know.âIt didnât prevent him to be called âshit in a silk stockingâ by NapolĂ©on on one occasion, though.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
I tend to do that with people I like as friends.
Who I really donât want to rizz up đ
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
the top part has big milady-fedora energy
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
The top is just a relationship. I expect my wife to do all that for me too. And my kids. And my parents. And my friends.
Except for âhonorâ. My understanding of honor is that itâs not something you do to a person. Itâs how you act yourself. But I was raised by Klingons.
nforminvasion@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Absolutely. There is a nonzero overlap between FOSS/decentralized software nerds and white knights/nice guys.
Thankfully itâs not too much here, as Lemmy has done a good job at not tolerating intolerance, so the incel white knights leave, but some of the more innocent ones stick around.
wezzzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Agree weird ahh post most man have way high standerts too
orioler25@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Damn, hard to think that just over a decade ago, we had groups of incels who were at least convinced politeness was a viable coercion tactic. Now they think giving women any chance to feel good about themselves is losing ground.
Jankatarch@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
I am still confused on âhonor her.â What the fuck does that mean?
cally@piefed.blahaj.zone âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
if someone says âhiâ to me i will not be impressed.
meanwhile, it someone grabs a skateboard, does a kickflip then does a backflip and lands on the skateboard, then iâll be impressed.
DupaCycki@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
The gay lobby strikes again with its propaganda. Donât fall for it, kings.
blarghly@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
How to impress a girl: do something impressive.
How to get compliments as a guy: do something that is compliment-worthy.
How to get called hot as a guy: be hot
Itâs not complicated. Itâs a shit ton of work, but itâs not complicated.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Climbing a mountain is hard but not complicated.
Do something impressive is vague, subjective, and shifting goal.
Anyway, looking for validation is the wrong approach.
Other humans arenât exactly fit to judgeâŠ
Focus on being who youâd like to date instead!
Thatâs why I got a dump truck back there /j
blarghly@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
As someone who actually climbs mountains, I can tell you that it can actually be quite complicated depending on the mountain, lol.
But anyway - climbing a mountain is impressive, if I do say so myself!
On the whole, I agree and disagree. I think that in general you should focus on doing things that would impress you. Like, I like climbing mountains, and so I set climbing goals for myself that I find impressive. And then girls with similar values to myself - adventurous, athletic, pragmatic, open minded women - are attracted to me because I am doing things they also find impressive. On the other hand, women who, say, really like going to the club and working corporate office jobs and starting families in white picket fence homes tend to be less impressed. But this works out for me because I will enjoy my time with the former far more than the latter, while someone with different values from me may enjoy the latter more than the former.
So Iâm a big fan of being the best version of you that you can be.
But on the other hand, I think we should be quite frank about the fact that there are some things that guys can do that are generally attractive. Trying to improve these things, especially in a place like Lemmy, is often construed as misguided or shallow or fake - but I think this is mostly because Lemmy is a crab bucket for lonely men, and even if you improve at these things solely for the purpose of getting more bjs, your life will be better for it in the long run
Jankatarch@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
How to impress a nonbinary?
felixwhynot@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Give them a sword (trust me)
Homo_Erectus@lemmy.zip âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Say âHello Worldâ
BreadOven@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Teach them binary (coding). Just kidding. Ummm⊠Just be nice?
bstix@feddit.dk âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Have you tried playing the guitar badly?
HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
I think this could be a better meme if it was âGetting into X pantsâ or something along those lines.
TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
I told a guy the other day at work that I liked his shirt and he totally lit up lol
Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
You probably made his year
Homo_Erectus@lemmy.zip âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
*His life
Never forget that lady calling me handsome in the supermarket