You can rent a whellchair. That will save you some up-front money.
Lord Lucifer, hear my prayers
Submitted 1 day ago by restingOface@quokk.au to [deleted]
https://quokk.au/static/media/posts/2U/qG/2UqGPYWJmXyRGJ2.jpg
Comments
marcos@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 day ago
You can easily steal a wheelchair (like taking stroller from a candy-eating pos baby) … but I would never steal (or rent for that matter) a whellchair, out of respect. And practicality, it’s daily usefulness is just unimaginable.
lugal@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
It really destroys the bit if you leave with the wheelchair so what happens to it is anybody’s guess
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Perhaps someone with electronics knowledge could have it surreptitiously wired so a hidden battery produces heat along the frame (activated just before the miraclee leaves), and the person who ultimately moves it is startled by it being hot to the touch?
mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 13 hours ago
You don’t need to buy a wheelchair. People who use them are usually pretty weak and you can just take one. Would also strengthen your case for our lord of the left hand path, Satan.
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Nah, Satan is more chill than that. The first satanic tenet:
One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
GhostFace@lemmy.today 12 hours ago
I know this is a joke but why are people always so quick to joke about the disabled like this?
monkeyslikebananas2@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Bonus points if you attend church every day for like a year without saying anything to anyone. Then do it.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Gotta slow-roll (heh) this one for it to work. Attend for a few Sundays. Also some light-touch pyrotechnics would go a long way toward selling it.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 hours ago
Gotta be red and orange pyrotechnics though, in keeping with the theme 😁
tetris11@feddit.uk 12 hours ago
Smoke machine, that ia triggered by a Slayer song
turtlesareneat@piefed.ca 23 hours ago
Why’s this on a photo of the ceiling
imadethis@fedinsfw.app 13 hours ago
They went the extra mile and were rolled in on a hospital bed. That was their last view.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 hours ago
Because the ceiling fan is haunted by the person having this thought.
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
You know…my town is letting people borrow wheelchairs at Town Hall to ride to the library, to show off their accessible infrastructure changes.
It’s about a half mile between the two, but there’s a church on the way.
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 day ago
Maybe add a few tricks, make your soles catch fire as you walk away, lights flicker, and the candles go out.
theloneyank@slrpnk.net 13 hours ago
This is a shit post forsure… 100% high quality shitpost
orenj@leminal.space 1 day ago
Alright one of you who know whats up, whats the deal with lucifer and satan? They’re different figures, right? Whats with the christians using them interchangeably? And why dont they throw Mammon into the ‘same guy’ umbrella term of ‘the devil’ too?
rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
No, Lucifer and Satan are the same entity. Satan’s name before he was cast out of heaven for heresy was Lucifer.
Other figures like Baphomet, Mammon, Beelzebub, etc were pagan gods that Christianity coopted into being devils controlled by Satan to cause people to stray from God.
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 day ago
Well, all of them are from other religions, Lucy & god included.
wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Literally ignore the other people. They clearly don’t know what they’re talking about. The name Lucifer originally referred to Venus, the morning star. It comes from Roman Latin, long before Christianity was a thing. The Hebrew name for Venus is mentioned a single time in the bible, referencing a Babylonian king who was given the title. You can probably thank St. Jerome for replacing the Hebrew name for the planet with “Lucifer”. Never, not once in the bible, is Lucifer conflated with the devil. In fact, even the original Satan was called the Adversary not because he was YHWH’s adversary, but because he was effectively God’s District Attorney, prosecuting the wrongs of mortals. The entire conflation with Satan as evil happened between the recording of the Hebrew bible and the development of Christianity. Hence why Satan is pretty much only mentioned in the New Testament.
Pretty much every single thing modern Christians believe about the devil, or especially hell, was made up in the middle ages, and a hefty amount of that by Dante alone.
rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
Hi, I’m one of the other people. Etymology is interesting and useful, but the question “what is Lucifer and how is he related to Satan” in the context about Christianity is specifically about dogma. When discussing dogma, etymology literally does not matter. Lucifer and Satan are the same, as defined by the church before the protestant movement, making it christian canon for all sects except Eastern Orthodoxy.
Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
Use of the word Lucifer to mean Satan predates Dante.
s@piefed.world 1 day ago
Have you ever seen Lucifer and Satan at the same place at the same time though?
anise@quokk.au 1 day ago
as I understand it Satan is officially a title and means something like “the adversary”, and Lucifer got this title after being cast out of heaven
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 day ago
Lucifer was just farrying light (ferre lucis - the bringer of light), but that it just means morning star/Venus.
But like all such texts and oral traditions the dude had several previous roles via random translations, misrememberings, story evolution, several distinct religions, mashups of all those, etc.
I mean, look at this
Image
restingOface@quokk.au 1 day ago
Alright one of you who know whats up, whats the deal with spartan 117 and master chief? They’re different figures, right? Whats with the heathens using them interchangeably? And why dont they throw John Halo into the ‘same guy’ umbrella term of ‘demon’ too?
BehavioralClam@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
who’s upvoting from 420?
Canconda@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
join church and fake disability for 6 months.
Get healed
???
Now you lead a cult
Bluegrass_Addict@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
it would NOT shock me if you could actually create your own cult by doing exactly that in an already established cult.
Canconda@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Back in the 90s there was a scourge of ponzi schemes and investment scams etc going through churches. Honestly we probably wouldn’t even have the acronym MLM if it wasn’t for churches.