I poured milk on my pussy but it didn't help

Comments

• starchylemming@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  may this lesson improve your hygiene

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• edinbruh@feddit.it ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yuck! If you went straight from eating to masturbating without even washing your hands, you deserve everything that’s coming.

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  • Vintor@retrolemmy.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Capsaicin is non-soluble in water and basically doesn’t wash off.

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    • edinbruh@feddit.it ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Neither are oils, that’s why you use soap to wash

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  • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    They probably didn’t come though.

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  • GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    And after that, he’s gonna go back to eating again

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  • not_IO@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    stop being weird they prolly just peed… 😐

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• tyler@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  The solution in the title is a good way to get a yeast infection.

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• Valthorn@feddit.nu ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  me about to crank Kronk one out

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  • gmtom@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Yet again foreskin havers are winning

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• OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I had a dumb idea to use Deep Heat as lube once. My cock looked bright red at one point and i cried when my girlfriend at the time called a doctor. God dam ive had some cringey moments in my life

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  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I… wouldn’t use this as lube, because I wouldn’t want to just inflict this on a partner with no warning…

    … but I find tiger balm on the nuts and bolt to be enjoyably painful, or, painfully enjoyable.

    So yeah, masochist kink, i guess, compared to most other people?

    To me the ‘oddest’ thing is that I’m apparently just a masochist, and not a sadist; somebody could be on their hands and knees, begging me to whip them or slap them, and I would not be able to do it.

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    • OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Lol oh she was down to try it (we were both young, dumb and very horny). Yeah i get that, everyone has their flavour

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• SaltyIceteaMaker@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  prolly a kink of some type

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  • trackball_fetish@lemmy.wtf ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Fun fact, ginger root works great

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    • Im_old@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Username almost checks out

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  • imadethis@fedinsfw.app ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Hi there! Got any jalapeno juice?

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• Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I once used chilly oil as lube just to see.

  It was indeed a terrible idea, as I suspected.

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  • sukhmel@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    But you did right to check, for… um, science

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• sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  You… probably just want a steady stream of water, to flush out the irritants.

  Get a detachable, flexible showerhead.

  … these are also useful for things beyond flushing out irritants.

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• trackball_fetish@lemmy.wtf ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  eyo one time, I was shaking chicken wings in habanero sauce and went to take a piss without washing my hands. I only made that mistake once.

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• WoodScientist@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  FUUUUCK.

  I can feel this one.

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• Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  And then theres me…using hot sauce as lube.

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• ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  One of my partners more or less did this once and sent me a pic of their dick in a glass of milk lol

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• yesman@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Had a friend who did this with poison ivy. I’m still laughing decades later just thinking about it.

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• Krauerking@lemy.lol ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  This is the kind of stuff J.H. Kellogg was inventing corn flakes for!

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  • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    That miserable cunt would have been more likely to grab that chicken sandwich from your hands, add the spice to soaps so it always hurts to masturbate, and insist you eat something specifically made to taste as bland and boring as possible. Followed by getting his soap company hostilely taken over because his business partner realizes he’s a fucking idiot that a) one shouldn’t be in business with and b) is too focused on puritanical bullshit to prevent a hostile takeover.

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  • Flatfire@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    And enemas, for when you’ve already made a mistake

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• gmtom@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Yet again foreskin havers are winning

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  • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Wouldn’t the extra sensitivity make it more likely to feel irritation on the head when you touch it? As long as it doesn’t get in the pee hole, I wouldn’t expect it to feel like anything, especially because the spice itself isn’t spicy but only gets that way after reacting with water. So I’d expect foreskin to be more likely to trap some moisture to activate it, too.

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• Ghostie@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Getting a bj after hot wings does not inspire joy either.

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• zxqwas@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  And by tomorrow your sandwich will have burnt all 3 holes.

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