unforgivable bad bad mommy

Comments

• balderdash9@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW

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  • synapse1278@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I WAS in the train, and I had to scroll real fast !

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    • Battle_Masker@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Can confirm. I’m the train

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  • blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Where is this originally from?

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    • Jumbie@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Your mom!

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  • kingblaaak@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    securityyyyyy

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• Denjin@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Image

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• rustyfish@piefed.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Image

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• KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  You should’ve labelled this picture as NSFW.

  I was an ironworker. Key word: was. We were on break, 34th floor of the new OmniCorp tower, just doomscrolling on our phones. I’m munching on a sad turkey sandwich when my thumb stops. My eyes landed on this… this thing. This cursed JPEG.

  My primate brain experienced a neuron activation so profound, so earth-shattering, it bypassed all conscious thought. My sandwich was yeeted into the abyss below. My hand, moving with a will of its own, started going at a velocity previously thought to be impossible by modern science. I was a one-man-demolition-crew, furiously fapping right there on the I-beam. The sheer friction was threatening to set my pants on fire.

  My buddy Frank looks over. “Dude, what the F—” He stops. His eyes lock onto my screen. His jaw unhinged. A silent, based understanding passed between us. He didn’t even hesitate. He just joined in, his own hand a blur of motion.

  It was a goddamn pandemic. Brenda, our crane operator, saw it on my phone through her binoculars. The crane started bucking and gyrating like it was trying to win a twerking competition. The foreman, a 60-year-old dude named Gus, dropped his clipboard and went absolutely feral. The entire construction site became a symphony of furious, unsanctioned fapping.

  But Kevin. Fucking Kevin. He was holding the ONLY temporary load-bearing support strut for the entire western facade. He saw the image. He saw us. And he made a choice. He chose the coom. He let go of the strut. Both hands. For the cause.

  I heard a groan of tortured steel, a sound I can only describe as the universe saying “lmao skill issue,” and then it was just sky, concrete, sky, concrete.

  I woke up in a hospital bed. I’m paralyzed from the waist down for a month. How do you tell a doctor that a multi-million dollar project was yeeted into oblivion by a single, powerful image that triggered a site-wide, catastrophic fap-session?

  So I’m telling you, from my hospital bed, with a catheter I’ve nicknamed ‘Kevin’s Shame’… It’s YOUR fault. All of it. You should have tagged this NSFW.

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  • icelimit@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’m pinning this for myself to use. Thank you.

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    • KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      It was stolen, so please go ahead.

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• Catma@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Image

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• ieatpwns@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Swing low sweet chariot

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  • amotio@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Oh… I thought those were the knees.

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    • blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You’re not the only one

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• Bombastic@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Image

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• lemmy12369@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I need context here, for research purposes

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  • Dyf_Tfh@piefed.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    DVDES-910 no need to thank.

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    • ieatpwns@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You’re pretty good

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    • Pacattack57@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      This needs more upvotes

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    • nameisnotimportant@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Finally ! For those interested it’s around the 02:14:00 mark

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• wesker@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Image

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• MehBlah@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Go on.

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• tetris11@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Image

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• Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Image

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• atro_city@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Is this from a porno?

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  • superniceperson@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    No, she’s topless as a statement on the massive environmental harm almond farms cause.

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    • ehyuman@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Can I get a link to her statement please?

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  • GandalftheBlack@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    No, surprisingly not

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    • thegr8goldfish@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Holy Shit. Thank you for this!

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    • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      that setup was great. Context, delivery, follow-through, 100% flawless.

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    • Revan343@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Nice

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• etherphon@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  JAV is really on a different level, even blackface is still ok there.

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  • Denjin@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Japan has dealt with the issue of their turbo-charged racism problem by pretending it doesn’t exist.

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• TheThrillOfTime@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  You can stay as my mommy

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