Guaranteed NO ONE ever used this on their face

Comments

• Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨19⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  What's the bet that the "sturdy high impact plastic" isn't body safe?

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• ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

  Yeah, but when I was a kid back in the 80’s and saw them in the mail order catalogs, I completely believed they were just head and neck massagers.

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  • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨31⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    They can be. Just keep a good grip on the base. You don’t want to choke.

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• kami@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Enjoy the benefits if a cordless massager that gives a gentle penetrating massage

  They totally knew what they were doing.

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  • danekrae@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    7 inches long. Sturdy high impact plastic.

    That’s what everybody asks about when buying products for your face.

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• KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I gave one of these to my girlfriend the day before I had to go away on business for 2 months.

  She said “What is this for?”

  I said “It’s a replacement for my you-know-what.”

  She said “Oh, ok. I think I get it.”

  I got home 2 months later and she had 3 chipped teeth.

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  • big_slap@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Image

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• ReCursing@feddit.uk ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I have to massage my face due to nerve damage. I bought a massage gun but it is too violent, so I am seriously considering buyijg a cheap sex toy specifically to massage my face!

  …but I may be the only one

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  • dickalan@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Even ones with an adjustable dial are too rough? First off I’m sorry you have nerve damage that sucks second off. I hope the hand dildo works.

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  • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I use an intimate vibrator on my face occasionally to loose up my sinuses. Just give it a good wash before and after; there’s nothing wrong with it.

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    • Whelks_chance@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Does it work?

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    • zakobjoa@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Oh my God that is such a great idea

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    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      “hey honey can you- what the fuck”

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  • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    what about, like, a regular-ass electric toothbrush?

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  • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Get a We-Vibe Touch! It’s got a silicone exterior and it goes from little vibrations to fairly strong.

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  • loomy@lemy.lol ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    the gun is good

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• EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Careful though, it doesn’t have a flared base.

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• Kaput@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I almost bought one as a Christmas present for my mom when I was ten. The last in the catalogue was holding it to her shoulder… I’m so glad I picked the brass penguin instead.

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• FelixCress@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I would, after.

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  • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    🤣

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• PTSDwarrior@lemmy.ml ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Reminds me of the Adult Swim ad for salad tossers that looked suspiciously like…a tool that really gives women pleasure. And here it is: Salad Mixxxer

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• mastod0n@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  It never was intended as a “face massager”.

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