Life goal: accomplished

Comments

• Johanno@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

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  • pero@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

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• Obnomus@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

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• daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  How do you do Zubat?

  I can get Golbat, but Zubat is crazy.

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• ramenshaman@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

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• Stovetop@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Meanwhile, my shitty brain:

  My brother My sister who
  who’s an graduated
  engineer valedictorian

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  • MissJinx@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    no coral!

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• gmanlikescheese@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

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• son_named_bort@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Are you gonna keep going until you’ve covered all the Pokemon?

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  • IndiBrony@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “covered”

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    • felsiq@lemmy.zip ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      This context together with your username is an uncomfortable reminder of the jar

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• FlashZordon@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

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  • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Oh like you’ve never…

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    • FlashZordon@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I’m a man of culture.

      Johto Pokemon Only.

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• Illegalmexicant@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  My uncle was a professor at MIT

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• noxy@yiffit.net ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  username checks out

  oh wait, “to”

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• AlexDrago@ani.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Gives the term Pokémon master a (w)hole new meaning

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• pigup@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

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• Maultasche@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Are you Arin Hanson?

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  • IndiBrony@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The 2014 Honda Accord is my favourite Pokémon 👌

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    • reev@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Mine is a two-way-tie between half a bowling ball and the concept of time.

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    • JaymesRS@literature.cafe ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Allow me to be the first to wish you a Happy Honda Days from my family to yours.

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  • sulgoth@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Arin did Dan dirty.

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• temmink@feddit.org ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  The Masterbaiter! The Chosen One!

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