>new job
>no clue what duties are
>manager out sick with severe oral chlamydia
>ask coworker
>smells like a sweat sock doused in ammonia
>nearly burst into treats upon entering their miasma
>somehow surmises I’m trying to smash
>grimace.wave
>I silently retreat
>still need money
>surveillance is the only route forward
>surreptitiously watch coworker
>they never notice
>gradually learn how to use the register
>discover job duties
>uncover weed stashes
>encounter the cum room
>my picture above a desecrated bucket
>cease hiding my reconnaissance
>they cease visiting the cum room
>still sneaks peeks at me
>bust them for weed stashes
>work suddenly feels safe
>feelsgoodman.png
Anon needs help reading a social situation
Submitted 8 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/5bfa3afd-2cf5-4bde-9478-f80ac1097331.jpeg
Comments
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
NuWuX@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
xkbx@startrek.website 8 months ago
she keeps glancing at me
I stop looking at her all the time
hmmm
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 8 months ago
OP discovered women have eyes and use them to look at people.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 8 months ago
Big if true
Crashumbc@lemmy.world 8 months ago
It’s not, don’t fall for the propaganda!
TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Probably hes staring at her and what hes seeing is her noticing him staring at her. Anon is indeed a fucktard.
tries to help out at new job
immediately gets hit on by neckbeard coworker
he wont stop staring at me all day
Guys don’t be like anon.
Mnemnosyne@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Seriously? From the story, anon did everything right.
Saw potential interest, acted on it in a nonthreatening way, when no positive response came, took it as a rejection and did not harass or continue pursuing.
JokeDeity@lemm.ee 4 months ago
Schrodinger’s Man: simultaneously doing everything right and everything wrong, the only way to decide which it is is if he’s successful. It’s crazy to me in this country you’re either a creep or a player from the exact same actions taken, depending on the results. One person could have told this story with it ending in marriage and all these highly upvoted comments about how OP is a horrible creep would be reversed as well.
Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Anan is having an episode again and talking to mannequins
Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Absolutely the follow up to this green text. Anon works in clothes store haha.
Talks about how she let’s him dress and undress her but never responds to date requests
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Obviously anon is a fucktard.
That being said, the situation isn’t unrealistic. It’s always amazing how people can misread eye movements.
So, if I’m in that kind of situation, my first thought is to look around and behind me. Could be there’s something nearby that’s drawing attention. You know the trope of seeing someone waving and just automatically reacting like they’re waving at you, even if you don’t recognize them?
It’s the same kind of response. We’re semi trained, and semi instinctually driven to respond to established social cues in kind. Someone waves, you wave back. Someone extends a hand for a shake, you respond with your own hand, sometimes even when you don’t usually shake hands.
Anon there could just be misreading a cue that isn’t directed at them.
Or, and this is more likely, anon sees pretty lady, and is glancing at them frequently. This can happen without really being aware that you’re doing it, our eyes tend to move around without conscious intent a lot more than people realize. Pretty lady is reacting to anon’s glances.
And that’s ignoring any of the tiny movements we make without paying attention that can draw the eye. You rarely think about something like adjusting your posture when you’re focused on something. You move, pretty lady catches movement, her eyes and head move, you catch that motion and glance towards them.
We all engage in little dances like that, often without ever realizing it’s happening. Minor shifts of body and head as two people share space that are essentially meaningless, but mimic things that do have meaning.
Depending on the kind of work involved, it can get very complex, and still be utterly unconscious.
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 8 months ago
Nice try OP.
dudinax@programming.dev 8 months ago
Communication. How does that work?
herrvogel@lemmy.world 8 months ago
You have one brief interaction and then spend the next two eternities pondering what that was, draw all sorts of baseless conclusions without attemptint to ask for any information. I’m very good at it, been so in doing it for 30+ years.
echodot@feddit.uk 8 months ago
What you don’t just hyperventilate when a member of the opposite sex smiles at you? What are you doing on this website, you’re weirdo
echodot@feddit.uk 8 months ago
I got to love 4chan because it just reminds me the fact that I’m a catch, apparently.
P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 8 months ago
Catch?
thirteene@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Rooted from “plenty of fish in the sea” and fishings “catch and release” fishing. It’s common to have maximum catch limits while fishing, so you will release fish back into the water if you do not intend to keep it. A catch is anyone that you intend to hang onto, or state steadily. This user is saying they are valuable to date.
festnt@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
i think he means he plays baseball and always catches the ball
Varyk@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
sort of tried once.
haven’t talked directly to her.
gave up.
why isn’t this working?
yum@lemmy.eco.br 8 months ago
How many tries are too many tries?
Varyk@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
cross the starting line before giving up, i always say
JokeDeity@lemm.ee 4 months ago
Did we read a different green text? How do you figure he got her number, mind reading?
caboose2006@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
Err on the side of taking requests at face value, especially at work and at first.
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
Walk up to her, get down on one knee and propose to her.
Fallofturkey@lemmy.world 8 months ago
She says yes as the entire company claps in unison.
OutrageousUmpire@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Anon does not mention his smell, weight, and severe acne.
Etterra@lemmy.world 8 months ago
be me have no idea what this “contractual awareness” thing people keep talking about is new girl has no idea what she’s doing and keeps looking at me she could want me to train her she could think I look sketch and is keeping an eye on me she might just be starting into space nah she must want to date me apparentlynot.jpg screw her then, I’ve got shit to do weirdo is still looking at me
indepndnt@lemmy.world 8 months ago
What is “contractual awareness”? I googled it and it just seems to be talking about contact law?
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Contextual* probably. Which is funny considering the context
gnygnygny@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Roast her
recklessengagement@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Time traveler. Gotta be.
perpetual_beta@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Ain’t that the girl from Terrifier 2?
JokeDeity@lemm.ee 4 months ago
This is actively happening to me at work and I don’t get it. I really do feel completely torn between does she think I’m attractive/does she think I’m weird looking?
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Find out her favorite food, eat it for three days and fart next time you’re near her.
The familiar scent will make her fall for you.
tengkuizdihar@programming.dev 8 months ago
Shit people say on lemmy
SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Shit people
saysmell on lemmy.tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 8 months ago
This is the kind of reasonable take I come here for.
Aqarius@lemmy.world 8 months ago
That how you fell for Satan?