Anon freezes time

Comments

• atmur@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  The frozen chipotle employee watching me walk behind the counter and make myself a burrito 180 times before time resumes

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  • mycodesucks@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The Home Depot employees watching me steal an entire self-sufficient off-grid home one wheelbarrow load at a time.

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    • wesker@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The grocerystore employee watching me stick every carrot in my ass.

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• Th4tGuyII@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  And that is why you should always test newfound superpowers on a small scale before blowing your load on freezing time for 6 months you depraved Anon

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  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    apply it to a corner before using it on the whole surface

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    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Instructions unclear, am prostitute and my pimp never lets me leave my corner.

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  • piranhaphish@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    How apropos.

    www.reddit.com/r/greentext/…/anon_can_stop_time/

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  • Classy@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    blowing your load

    Nice

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• lseif@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  thats fine with me, since im not sick in the head, and i respect people’s consent

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  • Klaymore@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    This is a 4Chan user

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  • buttfarts@lemy.lol ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Sounds like the type of thing the sickest fuck in the room would say to avoid suspicion

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    • workerONE@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That’s funny because this sounds like the type of thing the sickest fuck in the room would say to avoid suspicion

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    • Surreal@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That’s my thought every time someone virtue signaling

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  • Danquebec@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Didn’t even think about this. I thought of how crushingly boring and annoying it must have been to have been unable to move at all. For 6 months.

    And now I realize it must have been dreadful, at first.

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    • CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Imagine if your one of the thousands of people who would likely happen to have the sun in their eyes at the instant of freezing.

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    • imecth@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Basically sleep paralysis

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  • kusivittula@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    not me. i would have done some nasty shit.

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    • lseif@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      genuinely asking: what sort of things do you mean, and why ?

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  • loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Assume some people were around you when you froze time. They saw you did something and then were the only one who could move.

    Then they went through the absolute nightmare of being paralyzed and conscious for six months. And they know you’ve caused it.

    I highly doubt the whole world concented to this.

    Whatever else you did in frozen time barely changes a thing.

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    • Tired8281@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      What if you spent your frozen time, determining the problems of everyone in the world, and solving them? So, when everybody got unfrozen, it was a utopia.

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  • Snowclone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Dude you can get in trouble for doing a lot of things that aren’t a criminal sex act. There’s so much more out there! Doing H until you nod out in public, stealing products, playing guitar after 10pm, orchestrating dog fights, gambling on when elderly people will die, driving a class B school bus with an expired physical on file, the possibility are endless.

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    • Kedly@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Like half of these dont work if time is stopped tho.

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  • Mango@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I respect people’s consent in the scenario where it’s something they experience or are affected by it. I’d imagine frozen time is consequence free zone for everyone.

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    • jorp@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Yes this is fantasy but what you’re effectively stating here is that if you don’t get caught it’s not wrong. The same argument would justify groping a deep sleeper, do you think that’s not wrong?

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    • lseif@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      i’d imagine not …???

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  • AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I would still steel shit from larger chain shops to eat an stuff so that wouldnt work out. Also i would test my powers first.

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    • lseif@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      steel shit? sounds painful…

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• Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  How would people know I’ve been in bed for those 6 months??

  As far as they are concerned the cause of the phenomena is unknown.

  And next time it will be longer.

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• Etterra@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Quick! Quick! Freeze it again!

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• Fah_Q@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  If they complain freeze them again?

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• Snowclone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Always test until you know the rules!

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• morphballganon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Everyone who is still alive

  So make it count

  And wear a mask and a big coat

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  • androogee@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Image

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    • Furbag@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Big Jakt.

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• VirtualOdour@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  That’s OK, they’ll know not to mess with me.

  Especially after the news cycles through hundreds of otherwise inexplicably brutal events like ‘oil company boardroom welded shut full of heaters’, ‘bee killing pestocide.producer found locked in a room full of wasps’, ‘putin awakes in room full people he’s been oppressing’, ‘guy who invented mobile game adverts could only leave his house after clicking on a very small button that’s actual hit box is slightly off the graphic’

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• shani66@ani.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  At that point I’d just go all in, live in the just moment for a century and upend the entire world to make up for it.

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• Sanctus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  They can have fun rebuilding the cloud over, and over, and over again.

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