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His presence terrorizes this town

⁨661⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/07dfa5a4-6ab5-4269-aeb1-1e5786fe32a5.jpeg

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Comments

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  • ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I don’t want to stop him.

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    • KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I want to be him.

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      • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I’d fuck him.

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  • Xephonian@retrolemmy.com ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    20 gallons a year isn’t much at all.

    “Man reasonably consumes cheese” isn’t as catchy I suppose.

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    • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      The average American consumes something like 40 lbs of cheese a year per the USDA. I can’t tell you how much a gallon of cheese weighs but it seems like it’s a fair bit more than 2 lbs each.

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      • Crowfiend@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Per Google, and doing the math, a gallon of cheese is 8 pounds (roughly 4kg). So that’s 160lbs in a year.

        Holy shit that’s a fucking lot of cheese. Someone stop this madman.

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    • jettrscga@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It’s 0.85 cups per day every day of the year.

      It’s not a lot, but he’s either horrifyingly consistent or floods his body with cheese on a few ritualistic days. I fear either option.

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    • Pulptastic@midwest.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      An average of ~600 calories a day or so from liquid cheey.

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      • nxdefiant@startrek.website ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I don’t know if that’s a typo, but “cheey” is a delightfully terrible name that I am stealing.

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  • VonReposti@feddit.dk ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Liquid “cheese”

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    • zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Ashes to ashes, milk to liquid cheese.

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    • pleb_maximus@feddit.de ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I feel like throwing up thinking about what 1 spoon of that stuff would be like.

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  • usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Is he fattening up his tapeworm?

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    • LEONHART@slrpnk.net ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      starts rhythmic clapping

      HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY, HO-DEE-HOTEN-DAY-O! HO-DEE-HOTEN-DOTEN-DAY…

      FATTENING UP OUR TAAAAPE WOOOOORMS!

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  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    That much cheese will stop him just wait

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    • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It would stop you mortal.

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      • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Yes it surely would. Hence i do not ingest such a monstrous mound

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  • EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Oh, that cheese is stopping him. Stopping him right up.

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  • bulwark@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    If it’s so wrong, why does it feel so right?

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  • Bezzelbob@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Can you blame him? That’s shits good asf

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    • Bezzelbob@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I just did the math, 200gal is 2664.5 fl oz (in freedom units) this means over 365 days hes eating 7.3 fl oz a day. 1 fl oz has about 50kcals so (ironicly) he’s eating 365kcals of cheese

      This has to be a sign from god

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      • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Just cheese sauce, or including the noodles?

        Where are you getting the calorie reference from?

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  • numberfour002@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Gouda for him, though. However Brie his 15 minutes may be, let him enjoy it. 20 gallons over the course is not even all that much. That’s barely more than a gallon a month. If you speak Portuguese, that’s like less than 4 liters. A liter a week of cheese isn’t exactly uncommon. That’s like a few salads, some mac and cheese, a pizza, several cheese quesadillas, a box of Hungry Helper, and some cheese strings, plus cream cheese bagels, and a sprinkle of parm on the pizza. Who hasn’t had one of those types of week before?

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  • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Can’t stop. Won’t stop.

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  • bmsok@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    This is how The Battle of Wisconsin starts.

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  • ignotum@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Go go gadget cardiac arrest!

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  • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Understandable.

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  • Sparky@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    The cheese gobbler

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  • blahsay@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    He’s the hero we need.

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  • bazus1@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Time for the next rewrite of Seven Samurai

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  • Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Kraft meals + ketchup + tapeworm food.

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