A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand. The vendor says “what would you like on your dog buddy?” The monk thinks for a moment and then says “make me one with everything”
Anon seeks enlightenment
Submitted 6 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/81d7bd97-123c-421e-9eaa-19e40d918017.jpeg
Comments
MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 6 months ago
The hot dog vendor says that will be $7.50. The monkey hands the vendor a $10 bill, which the vendor puts in the cash drawer. After a moment the monk asks “what about my change?” The vendor bows reverently and responds “change must come from within.”
Apeman42@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Not about to be swindled, the monk the pulls a gun from within his robe. “What’s that?!” the startled vendor asks. “Ah,” replies the monk, “this is my inner piece.”
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 6 months ago
The monk pulls out a gun and points it at the hot dog vendor.
The hot dog vendor exclaims “Whoa, whoa, whoa, I thought you guys were all about inner peace and stuff?”
The monk replies “this is my inner piece”
General_Shenanigans@lemmy.world 6 months ago
So if a monkey pays for your hot dog, always round up to the next $10 increment for charity.
usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 6 months ago
The Dalai Lama didn’t get it
MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 6 months ago
It’s because he changed it to a pizza shop. If he had said “hot dog stand” that old man would have been ROLLING with laughter!
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 6 months ago
This is the single best Buddhism joke ever created.
MxM111@kbin.social 6 months ago
The vendor answered: “stop with that non-dualist shit. What do you want on hot dog?”
Hupf@feddit.de 6 months ago
starman2112@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
A monk told Joshu, “I have just entered the monastery. Please teach me.”
Joshu asked, “Have you eaten your rice porridge?
The monk replied, “I have eaten.”
Joshu said, “Then you had better wash your bowl.”
At that moment the monk was enlightened.
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Why don’t Buddhists vacuum the corners of rooms? Because they have no attachments.
Aradina@lemmy.ml 6 months ago
If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, then the meal is already cooked.
Psaldorn@lemmy.world 6 months ago
- Oma Desala
- Wayne Gretsky
- Jaffa Kree
- Wayne Gretsky
Klear@sh.itjust.works 6 months ago
Use \ to prevent the dashes from turning into lists like this:
-
\-noisefree@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Shel nak shak lotaur sha’ret.
- Oma Desala
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Metaphysics is a blind man in a dark room trying to find a black cat that isn’t there. Religion is the man shouting “I found it!” So yeah, none of it makes any sense.
WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
In my experience, metaphysics is more like being in a dark room that you are certain is empty, feeling a black cat run across your leg once, and then spending a lifetime trying to make it happen again.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Buddhism is several millennia old proto-therapy. I’ve found much wisdom in a variety of koans even though I’m not Buddhist. But if koans don’t work on you then yeah I bet they’re real annoying
FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 6 months ago
Reminds me of the time that a guy beat like 10,000 guys in a row then lost to Buddha. The fuck is that shit?
lowleveldata@programming.dev 6 months ago
Cheese and meat. Why even ask?
don@lemm.ee 6 months ago
Idiot anon thinks Buddhist fuckery is aimed solely at white people lol
rapechildren@lemmynsfw.com 6 months ago
killjuden@lemmynsfw.com 6 months ago
papalonian@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I’ll posit a (very poorly and drunkenly abridged) story from the Buddha that I actually think of on a somewhat daily basis, in contrast of all the Buddha-bad comments:
So when people get angry at me over things that are beyond my control, I reject their anger, let them yell at what they think is the problem, and move on.
Then the Buddha punches me in the face and I am enlightened.
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 6 months ago
I don’t accept buddhas punch
papalonian@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I don’t accept the IRS’s gift
CptEnder@lemmy.world 6 months ago
Reject gifts from a demigod, in this economy???
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 6 months ago
As heartening and insightful as this story might be, I find it difficult to imagine that someone with this much hate would at the same possess enough composure to state his problem clearly, take part in the Buddha’s spiel about it, and then not punch him in the face at the end.
And I’m not suggesting that this would be a better outcome by any means, rather, that stories like this are sadly sometimes woefully inadequate to deal with the amount of anger and rage that continues to pervade modern society.
0xD@infosec.pub 6 months ago
You’re missing the point. This is about the Buddha not accepting the hate and thus not being frustrated over it.
DriftinGrifter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 months ago
this wasnt an explaining answer in any way to the guy Buddha is just an ass
papalonian@lemmy.world 6 months ago
I don’t think he asks that question in the original story. Drunk me was just giving him more dialogue.
blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 6 months ago
An understanding of Internal vs External locus of control coupled with thick skin will get you pretty much as far as you want to in life.