[deleted]
I’m actuallyand engineer at [company name]
Bro it’s petty revenge time. [Company name] needs to see these messages and asked if this is representative of their company values.
[deleted]
Submitted 1 year ago by tonystark29@lemmy.world to [deleted]
Comments
Gleddified@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
sparky678348@lemm.ee 1 year ago
This is my thought too.
Being the bigger person is all well and good but sometimes petty revenge hits different.
blackbirdbiryani@lemmy.world 1 year ago
You do not wanna mess with narcissists though, it’s not worth the trouble.
Zippy@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Likely would be difficult to get those messages in front of the right person at said company. Also bit hard to for them to verify it is not some scam. I wouldn’t bother but it is a nice thought.
algorithmae@lemmy.one 1 year ago
“I’m still friends with his brother, so it’s impossible for me to completely block him out from my life unfortunately.”
No, it is possible. If you happen to lose his brother as a friend then that’s an unfortunate consequence.
Life’s too short to have to deal with assholes like that. Not worth your limited time on this planet. Find new friends.
MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 1 year ago
This man is NOT your friend, and even if he is, it’s not your responsibility to fix him and solve his problems, or even “put him in his place”. Otherwise, as you’ve realized, he will drag you down to his level and make you as cynical and miserable as he is.
You should put whatever you had with him behind you at this point and try not to interact with him in the future, and if you are put into a situation where you have to interact with him, use the “grey rock” strategy and be as boring as possible.
uranibaba@lemmy.world 1 year ago
This sound like the best thing to do. Just ignore him and move on, try not to waste any more energy on him. If put in the same room as him, don’t interact with him. If he starts talking with you, try explaining that you do not want to talk with him and just keep ignoring. Never give a bully a reaction.
Damdy@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Is the sudden personality change as drastic as it reads?
Sudden switches like that could be a sign of a serious medical condition, mid 20s is I believe a common age for these things to kick in too.
I’d talk to the brother about it coming from an angle of concern.
tonystark29@lemmy.world 1 year ago
[deleted]fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 1 year ago
Maybe you were with someone he actually liked, and he thought you knew it. A stretch for sure, but it’s a trigger for some.
8ender@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Starting to drink really heavily is… well a key bit of information. I lost some friends years back when I got depressed. Didn’t even realize what I was doing, I just became an unfunny dick and thought I was the opposite. Didn’t realize what went wrong till I climbed back out of the depression. Still regret losing them as friends to this day.
SmashingSquid@notyour.rodeo 1 year ago
The alcohol is likely related. He might be insecure or something and projecting it on you, liquid courage probably makes him feel more comfortable being an asshole.
OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 1 year ago
rarely put me down.
But he did put you down. That’s not a good friend. He was like this the whole time, but chose to mostly hold back. Now he’s stopped.
Remove him from your life.
AA5B@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Or some sort of personal issue as the cause. Maybe you slept with someone he liked, maybe you are someone he liked, could he have looked up to you and then in your eyes you came crashing down?
scarabic@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I mean… fuck both of you is my reaction to this. You’re committing academic fraud and he’s an asshole.
tonystark29@lemmy.world 1 year ago
[deleted]scarabic@lemmy.world 1 year ago
You know how I earned extra money in school? Tutoring. So fuck you. Fraud is fraud.
AyuTsukasa@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Eh honestly I’m with you on this homework isn’t an effective learning tool for everyone. Plus it’s not like you’re handing out fake degrees even if you were who cares? what matters is if they can do the job
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 1 year ago
“friend” - you keep using this word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.
Dkarma@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Dude this shithead isn’t your friend. I have enemies who have more respect for me than this guy does for you…
Dump this dick
Brotherly@lemm.ee 1 year ago
This situation sounds like what restraining orders are designed to help with. IANAL, but restraining orders generally cover all types of communication, including social media. Showing that he has continued to harass you even after blocking him is good reason.
“You should stop posting these online, it’s really embarrassing because your [tool name] is such a failure. I should redesign all of it for you because I’m actually an engineer at [company name] and have a lot more experience. I could actually do it right, unlike you. I just might help you if you ask me nicely.”
Out if curiosity, have you ever tried calling his bluff? Reply with how would he improve it by saying any constructive criticism is appreciated. Something like
Do you have any recommendations on how to improve it. Looking to make as good as I can.
Depending on how you’re feeling, you could incorporate tagging their company. Use the same language they used. Something like
I’d love any constructive criticism from an actual engineer from @company
That said, it seems like the time to reply like that has past and it’s best to ignore/block him at this point.
friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Anybody who says “I might just help if you ask me nicely” deserves to be cut out of your life completely.
0xD@infosec.pub 1 year ago
Something similar happened to me just last month with the person I called my “best friend”.
He had been having personal issues for the past year that he can’t figure out on his own, but he’s generally someone who can’t honestly take responsibility for himself and regards his opinion as the word of god, basically.
He has been putting me down often in the past, even though he said he “always looked up for me for the peace I found”. I never really cared much for those words of his because I knew they came from a place of deep hurt.
However, he has not apologized once and at some point I started asking myself why I was calling this person my (best) friend. Well, after his last lashing out I just gave up and cut contact. I was trying a lot to help and understand him, but how do you help someone who went to 4 different therapists and called them all incompetent?
You don’t. They have to figure out that they don’t live in reality themselves, and I was not going to tolerate his disrespect anymore - I have enough other friends who treat me well, and my life honestly has not changed at all. He is not an interesting person anyway, all he can talk about are games, his pain and his delusions.
So what I’m trying to say is - cut your losses. This person, for whatever reason, does not want to gove you the respect you deserve, and that is alright. There are a lot of others who will, and those are the people you should put your energy into.
Slowy@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I had this same thing happen with a friend of mine, he was being manipulated by his partner at the time, 1 slow motion train crash later, he got diagnosed with bipolar, medicated and stabilized. We talk a bit again, it’s nice to see him in a stable place. But if someone refuses to hear what the therapist says and dismisses them or hides information from them they aren’t really going to be able to get proper help.
vivadanang@lemm.ee 1 year ago
fuck this moron, drive on with your life, he’s a bucket of nuclear waste
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Yeah, but like, after he throws a bottle of bee pheromones through his window, right?
vivadanang@lemm.ee 1 year ago
I mean if you have such thing handy, if you’re going to synthesize it and supply the critters I’d advocate murder hornets. or if you’re really evil and brave, bed bugs
hactar42@lemmy.world 1 year ago
This guy sounds like a text book narcissist. The worst thing you can do is tell a narcissist they are a narcissist. It will do nothing and will only make them double down. The best thing you can do is cut them out of your life.
I had a similar situation when I was in my 20s. Friend I had that I’ve known since highschool would always make remarks about how I got so lucky with my job. Because I was making decent money (more than him) without a degree and he was an engineer. It didn’t matter that I worked my ass off and put in thousands of hours, I was lucky.
If I would ever push back or say something he would just double down. I couldn’t bring up the fact that I didn’t have parents that paid for everything while I was in school, so I had to work and go to college at the same time. I finally realized that was just the way he was going to be, so I limited contact with him. However, his comments never went as far as what you are describing. So, I think you’re doing the right thing by just blocking him.
I highly recommend reading the book Emotional Vampires. It teaches you about the different personality types you’ll run into in the working world and how to deal with each type (when you can’t just avoid them). I wish I had read it 20 years ago.
CsikosPite@lemmings.world 1 year ago
He was like this inside from the beginning. He didnt change just the inside got outside.
So he was always a d**k head. They can do anythyng because the law allow them. Dont let him step on you.
neptune@dmv.social 1 year ago
Not like you should report him to his job, but just like cheating on people’s homework, it’s bad branding and potentially illegal for a company to represent itself for hiring like this.
If HR found out he was soliciting for resumes but also telling people they weren’t good enough for roles at the company… They’d not be happy.
Fal@yiffit.net 1 year ago
Send his comments to his employer. He’s representing their business in this manner, they should know. Maybe post it on social and tag the company
Nibodhika@lemmy.world 1 year ago
What I would have done is reply on that comment where he mentioned he works for X pinging the handle of that company on the social media asking if all of their employees harass people online, that way they’re forced to do something about it because it becomes public. If they don’t act on it people looking for their handle might end up finding your answer and that might dissuade people from doing business with them.
mojo@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Tell him to stfu and to stop talking to you. He clearly hasn’t gotten the message across. The solution to bullying is really just be aggressive back until they fuck off.
AstridWipenaugh@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Just walk away. Block him any place he contacts you and don’t give him another thought. Why does he get to live rent free in your head? Evict him.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I’d say you got it down. Just keep blocking and avoiding. At least now you know he’s not your friend, so you won’t walk into any incidental interactions thinking otherwise.
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Send a glitter bomb to his office.
Beefytootz@lemmy.world 1 year ago
The good advice is to just move on. The petty advice is to screenshot all of his bullshit where he flaunts the company he works for as well as whatever other unsavory bits he’s posted and report it to his employers HR team. Just an idea, you could also bang his mom
tonystark29@lemmy.world 1 year ago
[deleted]NABDad@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I note you didn’t completely reject banging his mom.
boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Fuck his mom and/or dad…or just beat his face in one day out of nowhere and walk away
flicker@kbin.social 1 year ago
I second the person who says you need to bring this public behavior to the attention of his employer.
He reported you for misconduct and the sword of damocles swings both ways.
massive_bereavement@kbin.social 1 year ago
Indeed he should do this, after all he's mentioning his employer.
Either that or shank him in a tasteful and thoughtful manner.
fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 1 year ago
Please do not do this. If this is who the “friend” is, his employer will figure it out. OP was reported for actual fraud. Please do not be so petty as to attempt to ruin a person’s life based off an internet commenter who has heard one side and has no understanding of the involved people’s mental state or life situations. It wouldn’t work anyway.
flicker@kbin.social 1 year ago
Sure it does. I've done it!
Code of Conduct and ethical behavior are for everyone, not just people who follow the rules in college. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Now, professionally, I'm under an exceptional amount of scrutiny for ethical behavior and I very much should be! I work with marginalized and underrepresented people! They are easy to exploit and are very protected by the law, as well as our ethics. I've reported others for their unethical behavior (as well as conducted conversations about appropriate interaction with the people we support).
What that means is, my (metaphorical) nuts are at the band saw every minute of every day. I am absolutely fine with that. It needs to be that way. And if I have a reportable offense, if I ever refer to my actual employer by their name online, I hope to God someone reports me. Because I need a reality check, and I need one badly.
Goose, gander. Rules for thee, rules for me. The poster isn't somehow allowed to be abused because they did something in the past (which they paid for!) by someone with a superiority complex. That person isn't somehow immune to the consequences of their actions just because of something OP did in the past.
RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 1 year ago
You were commiting fraud. He did nothing wrong by reporting you. Don’t want to get reported? Don’t commit fraud.
He shouldn’t be saying what you wrote. Nobody should be saying something with the intention of being hurtful.
Both of you are wrong. The only thing anyone here deserves is for both of you to stop and move on. Ignore the other person, eventually they’ll get the idea.
tonystark29@lemmy.world 1 year ago
[deleted]its_prolly_fine@sh.itjust.works 1 year ago
What you were doing was big enough to go straight to reporting. The way he saw you as a person probably changed. Its really not surprising he didn’t talk to you first.
I mean if you were sharing homework answers or olds test, or even cheating on your own test that would be different. You were compltly doing others homework for money. You keep saying that they still did the tests. Well depending on the class, the homework is a big part of the grade. Not to mention all the added free time they get by not doing homework. Extra time to study, less stress, and a boost to their grade. Plus you were doing this for money, not to help a friend or so they would help you with yours. AND it was multiple people, many times throughout the class. On scale of severity, what you did isn’t the absolute worst possible but it’s getting close.
RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Well we are only getting your side of the story, and it is not uncommon for people to omit facts about a situation that makes themselves look bad.
It would have been nice for him to talk to you about it first, but thats only a courtesy and not a requirement. Its possible that law or school regulations require reporting and do not allow for him to talk to you about it, as it may include him in the action. Its also possible that he felt slighted by something you did, even if you aren’t aware of it.
Either way, what you were doing was wrong and his reporting you was not a wrong action. His way of treating you is a wrong action.
Both wrong, both should ignore each other and move on.
Alimentar@lemm.ee 1 year ago
The guy is massively toxic to you. Why do you want to keep that around? Just cut him out of your life. Someone like that isn’t worth anyone’s time or your second chances. It’s like he genuinely wants to hurt you. Both by rubbing in the fact that he graduated and also destroying any of your chances at succeeding your business. Fuck him.
That is unless, you’re not telling us the full story and you’ve done something to him. Then maybe you can understand why he’s going out of his way to hurt you… Either way that friend isn’t going to work.
eskimofry@lemmy.world 1 year ago
And you who is supposed to be innocent is saying “you could have at least tried to guilt me into stopping even though I knew what i was doing was fraud”
blue_zephyr@lemmy.world 1 year ago
You were commiting fraud. He did nothing wrong by reporting you. Don’t want to get reported? Don’t commit fraud.
I’d agree if they were colleagues/strangers. I would never report a friend for that. I’d voice my opinion at the most but reporting them is effectively nuking the friendship.
fubo@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Last year, he reported me to the college because I was doing students’ homework for them for some extra cash. He said that what I was doing was depreciating his Diploma. I guess I get it, but what kind of friend would try to get me in trouble for something as harmless as doing people’s homework?
One who believed that you had already betrayed him, apparently. That’s not an excuse for ongoing harassment, though.
In many academic institutions, including some of the highest reputed engineering schools, your former friend would have been considered equally guilty if he failed to report your academic dishonesty. Asking you to quit cheating would not be an acceptable alternative; that would be concealing your violation.
Dude is still being a harasser, which is also unacceptable conduct. Two wrongs don’t make a right. But you’re still pretending you did nothing wrong. That’s not super great either.
tonystark29@lemmy.world 1 year ago
[deleted]Countess425@lemmy.world 1 year ago
That’s not irony, it’s karma? Consequences? Definitely not irony, though.
blue_zephyr@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Are you sure you were ever friends? I wouldn’t treat my worst enemy that way.
I’d just straight up tell him to leave you the fuck alone.
theodewere@kbin.social 1 year ago
this poor dude is just jealous and fearful of your natural mojo
GeoGio7@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Is he maybe autistic?
amio@kbin.social 1 year ago
He can't have suddenly turned autistic.
GeoGio7@lemmy.world 1 year ago
Yeah you can’t suddenly become autistic
pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 1 year ago
It’s the damn COVID vaccine!/s
CatZoomies@lemmy.world 1 year ago
The best way to get back at someone is to have a great life. Ignore him and block him, and carry on with your great life.
He’s obviously insecure, fragile, and arrogant. Move on - you’ll never win anything by stopping to his level, and you’ll never convince him to change his ways by putting him in his place. The older you get, the more you realize quickly people just aren’t worth your time.
When you see him next, just ignore him. When he gossips about you to his brother or your friends in an attempt to get a rise out of you, laugh and ignore him.
Have a great life, and fuck that guy.
tonystark29@lemmy.world 1 year ago
fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 1 year ago
My one addition is to consider how you will handle this as time goes on. Will you laugh it off to mutual friends with a “Why would I care what he says? There are a million people who’s opinions of me matter more.”? When would you consider it actual harassment? What impact would it have to have on your life to effect your mental well being enough to take action, and what would that action be?
I pose these questions because proactively answering them can put you in a much better situation in that happy life. Most likely, it will also mature your opinion of the situation over time, allowing you to be just the right balance of firm but level-headed on how you alter those plans when and if the time comes.
DisOne@lemm.ee 1 year ago
Well said - great advice. Giving this guy as little room in OP’s head as possible and concentrating on having a good life is the best answer