[deleted]
You might have had shitty experiences with some particular women, but generalizing that to other women is bad for both women in general and you.
[deleted]
Submitted 1 day ago by LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip to [deleted]
Comments
nimpnin@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
Buffalox@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Women are as different as men are.
You may still meet someone who is right for you.
But you probably need to adjust your attitude.Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Yeah bro after taking a peek at your profile, it’s your attitude. You view women as a means to an end (getting laid) and not as a group of varying individuals. You deflect any valid criticism with ad hominem attacks. You focus on what you can do to be more attractive externally via “not makeup because you’re a male” rather than shifting any focus to the underlying reason that you can only get laid if money is involved.
Stop viewing women as “females” and acting like they are a homogenous group that you can “figure out”. They are individuals, and to be successful with any woman, you need to take the time to understand what that woman is looking for and decide if you are capable of providing it.
LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
[deleted]Glide@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Uh, yeah. Using other people as a means to your end is pretty well defined as immoral. Don’t try and throw your moral bankruptcy back at the whole world like we all feel the same.
Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 hours ago
And boy are you getting a lot of it 😂😂😂
otp@sh.itjust.works 22 hours ago
with the exception of two brief situationships I was in cus women suck.
This is part of the problem. You’re blaming an entire gender because you ended up in situationships.
Even if those two women are 100% at fault, you’re not just blaming women, but saying that all women “suck”.
women don’t wanna be talked to for more than small talk
This is part of the problem. Why are you talking “to” women and not “with” them? What do these two different phrases (“talking to” and “talking with”) look like? There’s a huge difference.
Plus getting out is anxiety provoking
This is part of the problem. It’s natural for some people to have anxiety. If you have the means, see if this can be treated by a specialist.
Perspectivist@feddit.uk 1 day ago
34M here - just got dumped after a 9-year relationship about two months ago.
Why? Well, multiple reasons. In short: the love just died. Everything was “fine,” but neither of us was particularly happy. We didn’t have that much in common to begin with. Communication was good, and there wasn’t really any one specific event that caused the breakup. I’d say the two biggest factors were excessive weed use - for both of us - which made things feel “fine” despite the spark being gone, along my lifelong porn addiction, which eventually killed my interest in sex entirely and distorted my sense in what kind of women I find attractive. That also made her feel undesirable herself which didn’t help.
I didn’t put enough effort into the relationship and started taking her for granted. I think there was a bit of self-sabotage involved too - deep down I knew that if I didn’t change, this would be the outcome, yet I kept doing it anyway. Maybe I was subconsciously hoping she’d end it because I didn’t have the guts to.
Right now, I just feel numb. I don’t like being alone, but at least I don’t have to worry about being abandoned. I’m trying to take this time to reflect on my life and figure out what’s next. Honestly, in a perfect world, I’d love to find a caring, asexual woman - someone with whom I’d never have to worry about sex again.
LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
[deleted]BlameThePeacock@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Based on your question, and your other comments, it sounds like the only way you’re getting laid is by paying for it.
Apepollo11@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
I remember you from several months ago. I see from this post, you’ve not taken onboard any of the help and advice from last time.
Either that, or this is just a trolling account you turn to every now and again when you’re bored.
Diddlydee@feddit.uk 1 day ago
Way to generalise. Your attitude is probably a downer for everyone.
LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
[deleted]ElcaineVolta@kbin.melroy.org 22 hours ago
I guarantee you are not hiding your true self the way you think you are.
honestly, seek help before you slip further into an incel mindset and make your issues everyone else's problem.
JoshuaBrusque@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Dating is an attempt to find your best friend who you just so happen to be sexually attracted to. The important part is friendship. Adjacent to this is the fact that you have to be friends with yourself too. You stand literally zero chance at this if you are self-loathing, lack self-esteem, hold hate in your heart for yourself/others.
If you aren’t genuinely looking for your best friend when attempting to date then you will always be miserable. Don’t even think about sex, let that come later huehue.
I’m not going to bother looking through your post history or anything, but yeah based on what you’ve said here you have a lot of work to do on yourself. My advice is to try and make the right decisions EVERY DAY. Be the best form of yourself, the most likeable version, even if you don’t feel like doing that. You will eventually become that.
LouNeko@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Roughly your age. All my life. Because I my family was poor and moved around alot so I never had the opportunity to develop passions or intrests and was always lagging behind everyone in life. Now that severe depression has manifested itself as constant part of my life, there is no chance for me to ever have a healthy fulfilling relationship without dragging the other person down with me. So I just stay at arms length with everybody.
Also at my age, if heaven’s forbid there is still somebody who’s also single without kids, then just like me, there’s a good (bad) reason for it.At least I don’t end up as one of those 40 something year old steering head first into their 3rd divorce. I probably won’t even end up as a 40 something year old, period.
Perspectivist@feddit.uk 1 day ago
People break up. Just because someone is 40 and single doesn’t mean they’ve always been.
LouNeko@lemmy.world 1 day ago
True, but at that age people are usually mature enough to know what they want. And what they want surely isn’t an romantically inexperienced, socially inept, depressed loner. And if they do, that’s sort of a red flag in itself.
HubertManne@piefed.social 23 hours ago
I have not been single for over 25 years, but before that I was single mostly for over 25 years.
Modest_Toxic@feddit.uk 23 hours ago
A few months but that’s due to mental health, mainly body dysmorphia. Women don’t suck they are great. If you think they do maybe try men?
pan0wski@infosec.pub 1 day ago
I (25M) have been single my entire life because I am very boring as a person.
cobalt32@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 hours ago
Do you say that you’re “boring as a person” because you don’t have any interests or hobbies, or because your interests and hobbies are so niche that you doubt anyone else would find them interesting, so you never end up talking about them?
LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
[deleted]pan0wski@infosec.pub 1 day ago
It’s not bad but I often feel akward when around my peers when they talk about relationships while I never even kissed a girl, let alone was in a relationship.
gigachad@piefed.social 22 hours ago
Isn’t there an incel subreddit where you could go? I am sure they love to listen to what you have to say!
Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 22 hours ago
Last relationship ended in 2016. Been single since then.
A few different reasons. The two most important being that being in a relationship requires going out and actually socializing with the public, which is usually something i tend to avoid. And secondly being that I don’t think I’m in any position emotionally, financially or psychologically to be of any use to a woman.
edgemaster72@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Always, because I’ve never tried not to be, because I don’t know, let’s just go with very low self esteem
popcornpizza@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 hours ago
All my life, and I don’t plan on having any relationships ever. Not interested.
The why is a bit complex. I’m physically disabled, and by now I’m starting to have trouble with basic stuff like showering and even going to the bathroom. One day, I’ll require assistance for those things, and not at old age. I don’t want to subject that on anyone (and I honestly doubt anyone would want to do it from day one either).
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 1 day ago
I’ve been voluntarily a bachelor for about 6 years now. I find I’m happier and healthier not being involved in romantic relationships. That’s it, that’s the story.
LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
[deleted]wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 1 day ago
There are plenty of people having sex, but not getting involved romantically.
I don’t agree with the taboo view of prostitution. However, assuming you live in a puritanical western country, it isnt worth the risks IMO.
Nemo@slrpnk.net 1 day ago
I haven’t been single for more than eighteen months at a stretch in my entire adult life.
LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
[deleted]Nemo@slrpnk.net 1 day ago
Not always! Half those relationships were shorter than eighteen months themselves.
NABDad@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
I was single for 16 years until I started dating my first girlfriend. We dated for seven years, and we’ve been married for 32.
We started as friends and stayed friends.
YoFrodo@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
Since around 2005 or so because romantic relationships overwhelm me and I convinced myself I should put them on hold until I had my shit together. I never did get my shit together and now I’m at an age where it’s weird that I’ve never been in a serious relationship. It’s never too late but I feel more overwhelmed now than ever before. It’s just that I have to get out there or this will never change.
I think about this a lot these days and it’s very depressing.
LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
[deleted]Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
You don’t need answers from single people. You need to listen to the answers from people that know how to get and maintain relationships. Only listening to other single people is how you become an incel, which - judging by your immediate shifting of blame to women- you are already on the path to becoming. If you want to be happy in a relationship, stop listening to manfluencers and talk to, but more importantly listen to women.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I think I figured out why you’re single.
LeaveItToGod@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
I’ll answer for him: because you immediately blamed women for the fact that you’ve been single. If you aren’t successful with anyone, it’s not a problem with them, it’s a problem with you. If you’re blaming women for you being single, the problem is probably your attitude.
pressedhams@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
If you think women suck, I wonder what they think about you?
Perspectivist@feddit.uk 1 day ago
The only common denominator in all your bad experiences with women is you. It’s not their fault that you’re single, and as long as you keep thinking that, you’ll probably stay that way.
Put yourself in their shoes - would you date yourself? Would you date a guy who goes around thinking “women suck”?
If you want a relationship with a woman, then work on becoming the kind of person a woman would actually want to be with.