Anon vibes with his gf's brother

Comments

• henfredemars@infosec.pub ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I asked my wife if she thought I was autistic. She was surprised at the question because she specifically sought an autistic spouse and had been operating under the assumption for no less than five years.

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  • 3ntranced@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Where do I find the filter by autism feature on tinder?

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    • henfredemars@infosec.pub ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      We met on an adult literature/fanfiction website, so sorry but I can’t help you there! I suck at dating and have little patience with people.

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    • nikaaa@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      honestly good point; such a thing should exist

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  • aStonedSanta@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    😆

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  • grue@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’m curious; did she say why?

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    • henfredemars@infosec.pub ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      She’s a very unique person and thought it would help her prospective spouse understand her needs. She has neurodivergent tendencies.

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  • Holzkohlen@feddit.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    She suspected for five years, but that question confirmed it.

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• FinishingDutch@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I can relate.

  At work, I’ve worked with a LOT of autistic people. We had about twenty on staff over the years, all over the spectrum.

  People always say how working with autistic people can be difficult and that there might be challenges. There’s even training on ‘how to work with autistic people’. But I found quite the opposite - autistic people are a joy to work with for me. We can talk for ages about interesting things, but we can also enjoy a bit of quiet time.

  Maybe it’s because I’m an introvert, but I find dealing with the ‘normal’ people at work much more exhausting. Working with the autistic people is a breeze. Most of the things you read about as ‘challenges’ make perfect sense to me. As a result, we run a VERY productive department.

  So either I’m autistic, or autistic-adjacent enough to where I don’t see challenges, but just people.

  I’m in my early 40’s so a diagnosis wouldn’t really change things for me anyway. But my sister who works as a psychologist basically told me that I’ve got enough traits of it that she wouldn’t be surprised if I was autistic myself.

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  • I_poop_from_there@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Same here, similar age.

    When i got diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago, ny psychologist mentioned that I’m probably on the spectrum as well, but that getting an official diagnosis wouldn’t really help anything and she wasn’t sure I would even get one.

    But having the realisation really opened my eyes though, I now understand better why certain situations always made me irritable and made me have much more peace with my own limitations.

    I always knew I was a bit ‘off’, and knowing I’m on the spectrum kind of felt like the last pieces of the puzzle fell in place.

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    • FinishingDutch@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Some people definitely can benefit from a diagnosis, even later in life. Especially if it’s the missing ‘piece of the puzzle’ like you mentioned.

      For me, the things that might feed into a specific diagnosis also are just… the way I am. It’s not like I’m suddenly going to work on them because now there’s a label attached. They’re the quirks that make me, me.

      I grew up in an era where autism basically didn’t exist. You just were a bit - or a lot - weird. And you had to conform or deal with it on your own. Nobody was ‘on the spectrum’ when I attended school. So I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a lot of adults out there who have missing puzzle pieces.

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  • samus12345@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    It’s extremely likely you’re on the spectrum. Neurotypicals who do well with neurodivergents usually have to make an effort to do so.

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    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Yeah I’m probably not autistic, but I have adhd and frankly all y’all (neurotypical people and autistic people) are equally exhausting. I prefer autistic people because they go in expecting difficulties communicating and account for it

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    • FinishingDutch@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      That’s definitely something that I’ve noticed in other colleagues outside of our department - they tend to see us as ‘different’, based on some of the talk I’ve picked up over the years.

      We’re generally a more introverted, quiet writing department. Which is a stark contrast to the extroverted, loud sales department. To us, they are quite different as well…

      We’re generally on friendly terms between departments, but outside of purely necessary work interactions, neither group would choose to voluntarily hang out with the other outside of work. I usually try to bridge that gap a bit, but that too takes a bit of effort on my part.

      Still, it doesn’t really matter if I’m on the spectrum or not. It’s not going to really change my outlook on work or life in general.

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  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’m the exact same way. I had several roommates in college, and my favorite announced on the first day that they had aspergers, and asked us to help out in processing social interactions. That was by far my favorite roommate at college, probably because I’m quite introverted and we shared interests.

    Likewise, one of my best friends in high school was visibly autistic, with very focused hobbies in collectible card games, WWII history, and political science (theory, not candidates). They went through a period of depression likely triggered by separation anxiety when moving away from home, and now they’re a therapist working with similar people.

    Each of those were very good at getting things done (far more reliable than me), and they were super interesting to talk to in their areas of interest. I wish we had more people on the spectrum at work, because my management style is very compatible with that (very low-touch, unless you’re actively lying to me).

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    • FinishingDutch@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      The roommate and friend sound awesome. I’ve been the ‘emotional support normie’ for a few people on the spectrum over the years. Some do appreciate a bit of handholding in certain situations and I’m happy to oblige. And all love having someone to talk to about specific interests, who won’t slow them down or cut them off.

      I also LOVE what I like to call ‘random autistic encounters’.

      I like movies for example. I see about three per week at my local theatre, always the early, nearly empty showtimes. Movies are a solo activity for me; something I get to enjoy without it sapping my energy.

      Turns out, the almost empty showings also tend to attract autistic people as they’re not as taxing. So the past year, I’ve sat next to a few regulars who’ve struck up post-movie conversations with me after they’d seen me a few times. I’m apparently a very welcoming person to talk to.

      They know we share at least movies as an interest, so they’ll walk up and start a conversation about that. But after about 10 minutes, we’re talking about stuff ranging from video games to anime, ancient Roman history, board games, obscure 1990’s German railway trivia or whatever else they or I might be into. And after half an hour of chatting with this complete stranger, they’ll casually mention ‘I’m autistic…’

      Usually my reply is ‘well duh, that’s obvious’. I’ll explain that I work with autistic people and that I can pretty much spot one on sight by now :D

      It’s always fascinating how people think autistic people are quiet or don’t like talking. They’ll happily talk your ear off for an hour straight if you actually engage with them. I’ve met some wildly interesting folks that way.

      As to work: we have a very structured workplace with a very set routine, fixed deadlines, that sort of thing. The people we’ve had really thrive in our line of work. As long as the work gets done on time, they get a LOT of freedom in how they do it. We’re very much hands-off management.

      We actually actively hire people on the spectrum for our department through a job placement program. We’re such a good fit for them, they really flourish at our company and leave with more confidence. We’re willing to work with their specific challenges, as they’re overall awesome employees.

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  • IzzyJ@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I think those training videos are more for workplaces like mine where they fired my old boss for accommodating me too much

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    • FinishingDutch@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      That’s gotta suck. At least in my job, our company owner has a daughter with severe autism so he’s very understanding of the specific needs of people who work there and are on the spectrum. We do probably accommodate a bit too much in some things, but if it keeps people happy and productive, I don’t see that as a bad thing.

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• RadicalEagle@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Empathy is a hell of a drug.

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• BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I had a similar experience.

  • Most of my friends were generally similar: straight-shooters, into science, and unique.
  • I had a friend whose kid I related to so much, that eventho I am generally pretty bad with kids, they used to ask me for advice on how to address certain issues with him.
  • When I was at a farmer’s market, I saw some toys that looked interesting. I asked the salesperson what they were for, and she responded saying that they were for autistic kids because it helps them calm down. I seriously said, “Man, those autistic kids know what’s up.” I bought two of the toys. One was for the kid mentioned above, and the other was for me.

  A year later, a friend that is a psychologist tells me that I’m autistic. I get a formal evaluation just to make sure, and yep, I’m certainly autistic. For the next year, all these odd experiences in my life start to make sense:

  • I tell my friends and they said that they are autistic too and thought I knew because it was so obvious.
  • I learn that flappy hands is an autism thing. The kid mentioned flapped his hands whenever he would get excited. They weren’t necessarily asking me how to raise their kid. They were asking me for advice with autistic traits and issues.
  • They toy was a fidget toy, and I bought one for myself because it was soothing… because I am autistic and adhd.

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  • Flax_vert@feddit.uk ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I got in trouble a lot for the flappy hands thing lol

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    • BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Wtf. Why would anyone care that a kid flaps his hands? To me, it’s so cute and endearing. They are visually communicating how happy and excited they are. It hurts no one, only spreads joy. Sorry you went through that 😕

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  • Tricky@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Can read the emotion in the text. Thanks for sharing that.

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    • BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You’re welcome 😊

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• NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  The way my counsellor put it was “straight people don’t spend a lot of time wondering whether they’re gay”.

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  • Carlo@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I don’t think that’s a good analogy at all. Via the power of social media, we are all on the autism spectrum. Everyone, neurotypical or no, shares some traits that can be deemed autistic. There’s no particular metric or attribute you can point to that rules it out. Meanwhile, it’s pretty easy (in my experience) to figure out who you’re sexually attracted to. Nobody has to tell you.

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    • psud@aussie.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Your experience (of figuring out who you’re attracted to) isn’t the universal experience

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• Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Lol, probably is.

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• Thassodar@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  [deleted]

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  • davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Fake: your rules from other social media don’t necessarily apply here. Gay: I checked out your profile to see if we should bang.

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    • robdor@lemmynsfw.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      When’s the wedding? I can play in a band very poorly for the reception and party and consummation.

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  • Thcdenton@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Image

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    • Holzkohlen@feddit.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Q?

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  • sheepishly@fedia.io ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I only just realized in this very second that the acronym of "fake and gay" is... well it's also gay

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    • Thassodar@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Would you say it’s very close to a bundle of sticks?

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• Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I don’t think anyone loves MTG, which is why she’s so hate-filled… The rest was cute though!

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  • luciferofastora@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    This is the internet and I can’t tell if you’re joking, but in case you’re not: MTG here refers to Magic: The Gathering

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    • Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I mean, it wasn’t a great joke… I think we should use MtG to distinguish Magic from the toxic congresswoman-harpy.

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    • hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Yeah, I’m having hard time understanding what else it could be. Ddg results are filled with the card game, but there’s 1 news article about some politician in some random shithole country

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• boatsnhos931@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  If there is an actual girlfriend I hope you are getting that awk awk tua that makes you scream and holler

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