I'm in my mid 30s, having women tell me of the psychological fights that NO ONE TOLD ME WERE EVEN HAPPENING, AND NO-ONE GOT ME.
Anyway, I now have a great love life. So long as you're not dead, there's always time for it to sort itself out. Be patient and focus on yourself.
taanegl@lemmy.world 6 months ago
30s my dude. My how the turn tables.
Black_Char@kbin.social 6 months ago
I'm 33 still waiting
Asafum@feddit.nl 6 months ago
Same, 38.
It doesn’t happen for everyone. Life isn’t a fairly tale. :/
MrVilliam@lemmy.world 6 months ago
This is the truth. Focus on yourself for now. Learn things, get good at stuff, advance your career, understand different perspectives, cook and eat healthy food that tastes good. Be somebody you really want to spend time with. A significant chunk of this is just you being confident and comfortable in who you are. Then people (including women) will be interested in spending time with you.
It helps to not be broke or ugly, but dressing well and washing yourself and smelling pleasant can get you pretty far.
snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 6 months ago
magic_lobster_party@kbin.run 6 months ago
I did all those things. Where fight?
Norgur@kbin.social 6 months ago
You do understand that everything you said and the sentence "be comfortable with who you are" are a contradiction, right? Fulfilling all the other stuff you mentioned will take massive amounts of energy of you're not the type who does them naturally, trapping you in a cycle of "still not good enough". Vigorous self-improvement is quickly becoming the "high performer" equivalent to bulimia: a form of utter self-hatred expressed as pseudo-beneficial behavior that actually does way more harm than good.
Truth is: love is chance. You might be able to increase the odds somewhat, but in the end, none of us can really control if we.end up meeting someone we will be able to spend our lives together. Trying to constantly be different tha you'd be naturally (trying to be the career guy with hobbies sports and eating healthy, while deep down you are a lazy ass couch potato) will increase your chances of meeting someone, bit I'd argue it will not increase your chances of being happy with someone. Or being happy with yourself for that matter.