58008

@58008@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Saw this on r*ddit, had to share with my people⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Joe Pesci, circa 1995

  Joe Bond: You hear a little girl, Moneypenny? Where’s the big tough guy who told my friend to shove his pen up his ass? *more stabbing*

  Q: Sir, please… *choke* I was just explaining… *cough* the pen’s unique bidet feature…

  Joe Bond: Bidet feature? You made me pop your eye outta your head over a fuckin’ BIDET FEATURE? You dumb motherfucker!

  Q: Sir, I apologise, but if you just… *splutter* use the pen’s other feature, the wound-cauterising laser, I might yet… *gasp* live…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨US education⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  This is somehow more offensive to my brain than if they’d simply said “electricity is god”. The way they completely muddy the issue, making the reader not just misinformed but made to feel complacent, like there’s no correct information to be found, is way more grotesque. It shuts down the mind of the reader. It’s anti-education.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon breaks up⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I appreciate the 100% complete, unbiased and unvarnished picture of the situation Green OP (Gropey?) has painted for us.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨advertisement⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  If you suffer from erectile softness, sliding yourself into an MRI like this will cause the iron-rich blood from your whole body to be drawn into your pennis by the powerful magnet. Then you just tie a tourniquet on it at the base, and you’re good to go.

  Also works in a large centrifuge in which they train fighter pilots, if you don’t have access to a hospital.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can't Fool Me!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m in my 40s and I still occasionally get a dream where I’m using the toilet, and that in the dream I’m making sure I’m really awake by looking around the room reading labels on things etc. People say you can’t read text in dreams, because it looks mangled and makes no sense. Well, if you believe it makes sense within the logic of the dream - that is, whatever switch in your brain that makes you go from “not sure” to “100% confident” gets flipped - then it matters not what lorem ipsum horseshit is printed in melting calligraphy on the shampoo bottle. My brain yearns for a piss-filled mattress and it will not be dissuaded by my feeble attempts at some sort of dreamworld scientific method.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It’s the little things⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  What if each H~2~O molecule was coated in a hydrophobic substance?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's transportation not cisportation⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I think my bank manager has a kink, keeps texting me about “transaction”??

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What do you call the first person with a new genetic mutation⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Patient 1

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can reading assholes be considered science?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I can tell by the flavour that a new love interest will come into your life imminently.

• In languages which use complex written characters (such as Chinese's logographs), is there an equivalent to English's "text speak" shorthand?
  Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩ | ⁨24⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Perfect Anatomy⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Believers: God exists, look at the wondrous complexity and beauty of life!

  Snails:

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The signatures are still coming and it's already making an impact⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children devs!?”

  The last refuge of a dying argument 😴

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon likes a thing⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Nazi ideology, OP OP. There was a nice little thing we had once, until you cunts took it up like a hoard of malignant nihilist pussies 😒Now we can’t even bring up the Third Reich’s many incredible qualities in conversation without someone rolling their eyes! n-chan numpties ruin every fandom.

  /ss

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We'd like to welcome our newest Student to Hogwarts, Hun-Gary Mc'Spud.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Potatrick Tuberman

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon turns on raytracing⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I never turn it on, the visual difference is too unimportant to warrant such a huge cost in hardware resources (and temperature). It looks different if you have side-by-side screenshots, or if you turn it off and on in-game, but if the difference is several orders of magnitude too slight to be worth it. Higher frames-per-second is more important than realistically-simulated light beams. You can’t really have both in large AAA games.

• If one were so inclined, could you take your plot of land, parcel it up into 1-meter-squared (or smaller) sections, and sell each of those sections to different people/companies?
  Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩ | ⁨14⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A cuppa Jill⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “Council Juice” in N. Ireland.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don't kink shame Oklahoma City.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  To me it looks more like the transcript of a monkey asking for help because he’s choking.

• Why do fancy cars look fancy and cheap cars don't? Can't you just slap a Lamborghini-style chassis onto a lawnmower engine if you want?
  Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩ | ⁨51⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What are you all looking forward to at Summer Games Fest?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Same here, either Half-Life 3 or Portal 3 would be the dream (why not both in a fancy new Orange Box?)

  Hell, a non-VR version of Alyx would make me happy! I do have access to a headset, but I get very sick very fast when I use it. Pounding headaches, nausea, it’s really bad 😒

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨"And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?"⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Good for you man, that’s a really great watch 😊

  Sad little men like that are most hurt by you not being offended by them. It’s like with internet trolls; non-engagement is the best weapon. It also happens to require the least amount of energy or time. So easy, but so devastating to their ego.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Remastered - Update 1.1 (Beta)⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Why are they so excruciatingly slow to release patches? This patch doesn’t even cover game-breaking issues, such as the bow’s paralysis perk crashing the game if you trigger the perk twice in a row. There’s a workaround where you edit .ini files to set the chance of paralysis to 0%, but most people aren’t gonna do that.

  I got 100% of the cheevos and logged 110 hours in doing so. The game crashed for me literally hundreds of times (maybe close to 1,000), and I submitted the bug reports for every one of them. I had to quicksave every minute, to avoid losing too much progress. It’s the most unstable piece of software I’ve ever used, game or otherwise.

  The game itself is great, but fuck me… almost 2 months later and they patched maybe 0.2% of the crashes and bugs every player is encountering 😒

• Why is having a lawyer present during police interviews "opt in" rather than "opt out"?
  Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩ | ⁨48⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• Consider this barrel thoroughly scrapedlemmy.world ↗
  Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩ | ⁨8⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• Why is it ok to replace -ed at the end of a word with -t in some cases? For example, why are "vexed" and "vext" both acceptable, but "thrilled" and "thrilt" aren't?
  Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩ | ⁨22⁩ ⁨comments⁩
• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I hope i don't get downvoted for this⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Kids. Thank god I’m not attracted to kids. Or animals. Anything else is fair game. Feet attached to a consenting adult are fine. Don’t see the big deal. I like to spit-shine the rusty sheriff’s badge, so why the fuck would I care if someone likes a boring regular appendage like a foot? 🤷‍

  Unless there’s some angle to this non-foot people don’t understand? Like, maybe being turned on by feet is comorbid with an uncontrollable need to blast rope over any uncovered foot you see? Now that would suck.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A real American⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Image

  There’s a reboot in the works, with [almost] all of the OG cast. Can’t wait.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can you scare a flamingo?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  As a kid, I thought he was singing “Beelzebub has a devil for a sideboard” and I have never been able to correct it in my brain. I know what he’s actually singing, but the misapprehension is indelible. I don’t even know what I thought it meant, like he’s a demonic sideboard? A sentient set of shelves that Beelzebub stores his malevolent vases on? 🤷‍

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨YouTube viewers will start seeing ads after ‘peak’ moments in videos⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  No we fucking won’t 😂

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨$400 dollars in plumbing expenses from clogged toilets⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  This collage looks like a serial killer’s vision board.