I swear Jesus gets whiter in every depiction. At this point, the unicorn is more believable
The electric boogaloo
Submitted 17 hours ago by ickplant@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/845a35c8-c06c-4ebd-b127-a4564f7b612e.jpeg
Comments
BeerStainedBunny@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 hours ago
Madagaskar_sky@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Well duh! Because this is American Capitalist Jesus!
sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 hours ago
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
UZI JESUS
Carl@anarchist.nexus 4 hours ago
DON’T GASLIGHT ME, JESUS!
Colonel_Panic_@eviltoast.org 1 hour ago
I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS, CARL!
TheRealKuni@piefed.social 5 hours ago
“I am the way, motherfucker.”
JustPlainDave@lemmy.zip 8 hours ago
Jesus is back and this time he’s pissed!
IpsumLauren@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Buttstallion?!?
tigermountain@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Is this Bible written by Pete Hegseth?
Aralakh@lemmy.ca 12 hours ago
Volume 1: HAIL TO THE KING OF THE JEWS, BABY
ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Not to sound too much like the end of Star Trek 5, but why does laser eye Jesus need guns?
Madagaskar_sky@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Are you asking why does a man with one weapons system need another weapon system? Are you serious? Dude, it’s more weapon system! 2 weapon system > 1 weapon system you fucking noob!
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Thyazide@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
Uzi Jesus got some upgrades.
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 hours ago
Isn’t the book of Mormon or whatever actually just “Bible: 2”?
raspirate@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
“Wow so the Bible is actually a trilogy? And the Book of Mormon is Return of the Jedi? I’m interested.”
hansolo@lemmy.today 8 hours ago
Kinda, yeah. It’s more like the “Newest New Testament” in practice. Which also means that the New Testament is more like “Torah 2: Back for Revenge!”
Though they call it The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ."
As if it’s just a remix or a cover.
svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 hours ago
I think Jewish people divide the Tanakh into the Torah, the Nevi’im, and the Ketuvim, so the New Testament would have to be at least Torah 4: Prophet & Saviour. Or, more likely, a spin-off story set in the same extended universe: The Tanakh Presents: Jesus & Paul.
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
It’s like how Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast was the sequel to Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight.
Danarchy@lemmy.nz 13 hours ago
Pilate said unto Jesus “surely you must be Jew-king”
Chef_Boyargee@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
Electric Boogaloo
Pissmidget@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
I remember reading the Norwegian satirist Are Kalvøs sequel of the Bible, and finding it very enjoyable.
I doubt this version can top a burnt out Christ hounded by PR consultants and everyone else wanting in on the action, while he himself only wants to play in a band singing songs about the trustworthiness of Pharisees.
FiniteBanjo@feddit.online 15 hours ago
Is it slop?
snooggums@piefed.world 14 hours ago
No, it is a comic book based on 3 seconds of web searching.
FiniteBanjo@feddit.online 13 hours ago
The Goodreads cover is completely different. The reason I ask is the weird bullet feed ending at the shoulder, but I guess that’s supposed to be it waving in the air or something.
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
The Mormons would’ve had a lot more buy in if this were their new holy book.