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How come Pornstars don't teach Master Classes? So the average joe or joness can improve relationships and get better orgasms. Who would be better than pornstars?

⁨43⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Patnou@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

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  • TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Probably a sexologist would be better for that than a pornstar, since porn is about looking good, not feeling good

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    • velma@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      There are quite a few porn stars who have become sexologists and sex therapists.

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      • meco03211@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        They don’t need to be mutually exclusive.

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  • Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Pornography is (typically) not just filming people having sex. It’s acting. The positions and sex acts chosen are ones that film well and are appealing to the target audience as fantasy, not ones that are necessarily the most pleasing. There is also no universally pleasing sex act.

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  • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    For the same reason the stars of Grey’s Anatomy don’t teach at medical schools.

    Acting isn’t real.

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    • nocturne@slrpnk.net ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      But the cast of Scrubs did teach at a medical school.

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  • Nemo@slrpnk.net ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Do you think that actors who play doctors on TV would make good surgeons?

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    • Patnou@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      No but having something inserted in you at a place that provides pleasure probably would make them pros

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  • cabbage@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Sex and porn are very different things. A lot of young men enter into sex imitating porn, and the results tend to be terrible.

    In reality good sex is more about communication and trust than about being able to pull of crazy stunts. And once you have a good connection with someone exploring stuff is part of the fun, not something you’d like to outsource to a professional.

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    • velma@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      There are some great informational videos and books from porn stars out there that shouldn’t be ignored though.

      There’s a whole world of sex education that is powered by sex workers and the like.

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      • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        Nina Hartley made me better at cunnilingus. I had one ex who said, “How do you know!?” Well, that’s how.

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      • atro_city@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        Where can you even get these? They are from the 1990s

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  • velma@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Let me introduce you to Nina Hartley

    She is a sex educator now and an all around kick-ass lady.

    Las Vegas Weekly has described Hartley as an “outspoken feminist, sex educator and advocate for sexual freedom” and “a guiding force for a generation of feminist porn stars”.[4] She has described herself both as a “classical liberal feminist”[38][39] and a democratic socialist.[32] Hartley began engaging in feminist activism in the 1980s.[40] She has said:

    “Based on my experience as a woman and a sexual being, and my understanding that I had the right to decide for myself what to do with my life – that’s what I understood to be feminist, to give everybody choices – I didn’t choose to be a mother but I chose this [porn] because it suits me.[41]”

    Hartley has also been involved in socialist activism[42] and has also been affiliated with the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee (APAC), a labor union founded in 2014 for pornographic film actors.[32]

    Hartley was elected to the board of the Free Speech Coalition in 1995,[43] and is a long-time board member of the Woodhull Freedom Foundation (founded in 2003).[44] She has made frequent appearances at academic conferences, workshops, and in the media to promote sex positivity.[45] She has given lectures at Dartmouth College, Harvard University, and the University of California.[46][44]

    In 2006, Hartley co-authored Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex with her husband, Ira Levine. The book includes sections on sex toys, swinging, threesomes, dominance and submission, and erotic spanking.[14] Library Journal called the book a “well-written guide” that is “strong on both safe sex and a permissive approach”, saying Hartley “handles the material frankly, accurately, and with sensitivity”.[14]

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  • Malyca@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Say it with me, porn is nothing like sex

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  • ohulancutash@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    That would be like Bruce Willis teaching at the NYPD academy.

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    • Corporal_Punishment@feddit.uk ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      You mean New York cops aren’t taught to crawl through air vents or how to abseil onto ships from a bridge?

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  • Semester3383@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Okay. Uh. Relationships? Really?

    Let me clue you in: most people in porn do not have great long term relationships. Many don’t have them at all. I’ve known a few women IRL that were either in porn, or worked as escorts in one capacity or another. Their personal relationships tended to be volatile, at best, because it’s really hard to separate out the things you do as a professional from what you do personally, especially when they look almost exactly the same.

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  • velma@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    ITT: people who don’t realize porn actors are multi-faceted human beings with relationships and hobbies and lives outside of porn.

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    • mushroommunk@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      On the flip side, you seem to think them being pornstars does indeed give them this extra knowledge that it doesn’t. They’re acting in the videos. Yes several have put in the time to acquire knowledge and transition into an educational role, but not because of magic porn knowledge.

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      • velma@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        I don’t think porn actors are automatically disqualified from being knowledgeable about sex and relationships. That’s different than thinking porn automatically bestows such knowledge on them.

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  • 123@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    These people are actors. I doubt they have more knowledge regarding (romantic) relationships. Also their way to orgasms are not necessarily genuine, the producers and performers are using tricks.

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    • velma@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      I doubt they have more knowledge regarding (romantic) relationships.

      They don’t live in a porn vacuum. They absolutely have relationships outside of their job.

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      • 123@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        They don’t live in a porn vacuum. They absolutely have relationships outside of their job.

        Yes, sure. I agree. But I doubt they do have more experience and/or knowledge in this field than the average person. Teachings how a relationship can improve are limited, because its quite unpredictable due to the mix of cultural, individual and social norms.

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  • freeusething@fedinsfw.app ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Porn is missing a lot of things that are necessary for good sex - how often are you seeing lube or condoms?

    Beyond that - other than shallow plots, you get blow job, jack hammer vaginal, jack hammer anal. Moaning that is performative rather than out of genuine pleasure.

    I think a lot of young men are mislead by porn and peers into thinking there are magical Techniques (tm) that make you a sex star, when the far more complicated reality is that you have to understand your partners body.

    For example, most people enjoy receiving oral sex. You might assume that giving oral to your partner in foreplay is a good thing.However, I cannot fucking stand receiving oral and it absolutely ruins sex for me, especially when I have communicated ahead of time that I do not want it. I actually want jackhammer and blow because that ties into my own mappings of sexual pleasure. This is not what the vast majority of people want nor what culture tells us to want, but likely neither are your particular sexual desires.

    Good sex is about connecting with someone in a way such that your pleasure is tied up in making them feel pleasure but also knowing that your pleasure matters to them too. A complicated relationship ego death dance with the idea that your bodies are made to make each other cum, which is not the same as learning mechanical techniques like you would to master a claw game. This is not what porn can possibly depict or offer.

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  • sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    That’s like asking why Scarlett Johansson doesn’t give martial arts lessons because she plays black widow.

    The skills that make porn look good and the skills that make you good at sex may be distantly related but any overlap is a coincidence.

    You’re better off learning how to make friends and build relationships with people.

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  • atro_city@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    A "True Sex" series would indeed be truly amazing. What we see in porn is just a bunch of acting (terrible acting).

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  • andrewrgross@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    First, I think something like this does exist. I think I’ve heard adds for a service like this on the Savage Love podcast.

    Second, anyone interested in this topic should check out a new document series on Nebula called Goonworld.

    In Goonworld, video essayist FD Signifier explores America’s simultaneous obsession with both enjoying and punishing pornography, sex workers, and the performance of sex.

    It’s on episode two, and it’s very good.

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  • dumples@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    While I think you are on the right idea I think someone else in the sex industry are more qualified. Most sex workers do lots of teaching of their clients in their jobs. So they should be teaching a master class.

    As it stands lots of them already do. Lots of kink books are written by sex workers / pro Dommes / educators. They are worth a read

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    • Naive@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      there are books regarding this? I never knew that before.

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      • dumples@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        Kink books? Loads of them. I recommend The New Bottoming and New Topping book are classics and not so new anymore. They are broad and expansive with good references to get more specific books if you want to.

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  • postmateDumbass@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Image

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  • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    i dont think pornstars have meaningful relationships, if not superficial. they do they get into relationships but its usually with other pornstars, often times you hear them breakup almost always. because they are"open relationship or polyamarous. and some get into the porn business because they like having sex.

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  • MantisToboggon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    They don’t live long enough.

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