Skip the reds, straight for the raccoon penis
It has what kids want
Submitted 3 weeks ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8df4fedb-45ba-4815-8107-155814a66a45.jpeg
Comments
HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
FDA approves RaccoonPeen™ for every disease.
Ask your doctor if RaccoonPeen™ is right for you.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Having known a number of ignorant racist smokers, I think the name would end up being:
Arguably racist enough to be NSFW
CoonPeckers
Genuine apologies if that term is racist enough to be censorable, lol, though theoretically it both means the same thing as ‘Raccoon Penis’ and also is racist against both black and white people.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
and bear cubs.
BigBrownDog@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I give my kids a spoonful of Vaseline everyday to keep them greased up.
Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
I hope they’ve grown a bit because you should only be feeding babies baby oil.
BigBrownDog@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Only after they’ve had their baby powder for breakfast.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
they swallow it, or the hard way?
BigBrownDog@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Exactly.
PartyAt15thAndSummit@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Corollary: Wild
liesclaims to hype your product contribute to securing a steady source of income, making actually working health care more affordable to you, leading to a longer life. For you.HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Uh, I hate that I have to ask this, but he swallowed it, right?
notwhoyouthink@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Wait is that why he talks like that tho?!
He was born during the time when conventional wisdom for expectant mothers’ concerns about weight was a simple recommendation for increased cigarette consumption.
chaogomu@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
He fried his brain on drugs. Also eating roadkill and bush meat.
When he was a teenager/young adult he was the drug dealer to his family and caused one cousin to lethally OD.
The guy has been a shitbag all his life.
The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If I’d lived through that time, maybe I’d have a later-in-life obsession about fixing my health too. Hopefully I wouldn’t swear off vaccines and chug methylene blue though.
notwhoyouthink@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
I mean, you’re not wrong. And I don’t blame people looking for affordable answers in a system that bankrupts the sick…
However I do blame clown leadership and those that profit and gain power from said people, and this cow pie looking mfer is climbing to the top of that list.
BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Wildly common for sober people to get real enthusiastic about health. I mean real enthusiastic about anything really. Like wildly devoted and cannot be dissuaded
The Kennedy’s were also chased by paparazzi since they were small children because they were: “Kennedys.” I doubt that helped.
tooks@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My parents smoked Reds indoors their entire life. I essentially smelled like an ashtray throughout childhood until I moved out for college. Even experienced respiratory issues throughout high school sports. Used to have to borrow my grandma’s portable O2 tank to use for practice breaks. I feel this, and I hate it.
Tiger666@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
I remember going on a trip with my grandparents and suffocating from the smoke in the car. That was only a few hours, I cant imagine living in a house with them.
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Dude what’s wrong with this guy’s eyes
Doom@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
replaced by worms.
PartyAt15thAndSummit@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
I had no idea river blindness stretches that far north.
Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Mirrors of the soul.
Evil people often have dead eyes.
They know they’re evil.
BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It has electrolytes
ssfckdt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Marlboro has what kids crave
beejboytyson@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Man, he’s a crackhead idk why people listen to him. No different then the ramblings heard from the homeless man taking a shit front of the 711.
starik@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Did he really say this?
justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Wouldn’t be surprised
SleeplessCityLights@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
If this was the 70s or earlier this is what he would be selling. If his sponsors were big tobacco, he would be pushing smoking.
DonutsRMeh@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Man, I shouldn’t be laughing this much at this. Wtf
flop_leash_973@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Please, the male kids crave Lucky Strikes. Filtered cigarettes are for girls. /s
VolumetricShitCompressor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
We all know that you read it in his voice
DmMacniel@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
yes and it fricking hurt!
gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Oof ouch my sanity
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
I also imagined the inconsistent audio level from his parkinsons or w/e hands constantly significantly shaking, and then the blam/feedback from dropping the mic.
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
I don’t think that’s Parkinson’s. I think that’s like lead poisoning tbh
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
its his worms talking.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’ve never heard his voice. I just imagined a gravel mixer and you know what, there it was