If someone dies unexpectedly, how do you find out?

Comments

• Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If they’re famous: From the news.

  If they’re family: Other family.

  If they’re a stranger: I don’t, unless their story ends up on the news or as a movie or something. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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• xmunk@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  At 4 AM, bleary-eyed, answering a phone call from my mother (the second time she’d tried) to be told that my father probably can’t hear words anymore but that she’d put it on speakerphone in case I had any words to speak before the life support was removed.

  His condition went from stable and active to on the edge of death within a few hours. He had (mostly) survived three separate bouts of cancer and the most one was in remission (we’d all flown out a few years prior for the extremely risky surgery needed to counter the last bout).

  I don’t think anyone learns about a sudden death in a particularly graceful way. If you want your loved ones to have more than a day’s advance notice euthanasia is pretty much your only option.

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• Boozilla@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  The authorities will try to notify someone in the immediate family (often the spouse). After that, if you are in their estate, the trustee should make a good faith effort to contact you. Beyond that, it’s normally just friends and family contacting each other.

  Back in the days when printed newspapers were common, some folks would check the obituaries regularly.

  You could create a Google alert. If the stupid thing actually works, you should get an email when their obituary gets posted somewhere.

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  • IamtheMorgz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    The authorities often go with address if they don’t have any other clues. When my mom died, she lived with her sister, who hates me and my sister… We found out by chance because my mom’s boss reached out to offer condolences, and then we had to call the coroner to let them know she had living kids. Her sister hadn’t revealed our existence.

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  • lurch@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Back in the days when printed newspapers were common, some folks would check the obituaries regularly.

    Always hoping to find your arch nemesis in there 😅

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• voracitude@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Search their name and where true from, I guess? Add “obituary” to get specifically death notices.

  I don’t know if it works or how well, yet… but I’m sure I’ll find out sooner than I’d like.

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  • Elaine@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    This is how I found out a couple of my old acquaintances had passed. I searched them up and found their death notices.

    On the other hand, I have a friend with whom I made a pact to notify our respective families if we start to go down because we care but are not in regular contact.

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• johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I’ve found out from Facebook before. But sometimes you don’t find out until years after the facts.

  Obituaries exist too.

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• AndrewZabar@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Ever heard of obituaries? Daily listings of people who have died.

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  • ultranaut@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Not everyone gets an obituary. Most of the people I know who died didn’t get one, or if they did it was in a small town newspaper thousands of miles away where they grew up instead of where they lived their adult life and died.

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    • AndrewZabar@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      That’s very interesting. It was my understanding that, especially now with global informati9n at least ostensibly available online, that obituaries would br obviously available.

      Is that still the case nowadays?

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    • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      That makes me sad. Online obituaries are cheap and easy these days.

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    • CrayonMaster@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      How long ago was this? They’re usually online now.

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• Iamsqueegee@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  There’s a disturbance in the force.

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• Mothra@mander.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You can’t know unless someone tells you or you go seek this information yourself. Another way besides contacting people or looking for an obituary is lurk on social media, if you know that person’s relatives and friends you will find some kind of mention or post about it. That is, if they also have you as a contact or if they make the post public.

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  • OlPatchy2Eyes@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Figures. So for online friends you’re pretty much hopeless?

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    • spankmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Unless you have shared connections or know who they are to search for an obit, yes.

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    • nokturne213@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      When my best friend, that I had met online but we also got together in real life, killed himself, his mother called me to let me know. I in turn got in touch with as many of our old EverQuest and World of Warcraft friends as I could to let them know.

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• IamtheMorgz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  In the case of my mother, who lived in a different state with family that hates me and my sister… From her boss, who had my sister’s number from some recent situation. Wouldn’t have found out for ages if it hadn’t been for that. Sometimes I wonder what that would have been like, but I’m glad I don’t know.

  If you don’t already, make sure at least one person close to your family/friends that you’d want to know about has your number and knows to get in touch.

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