Submitted 1 month ago by Seagoon_@aussie.zone to melbourne@aussie.zone
Mum’s in the ED tonight after her fall 6 days ago (well 2 falls in two weeks). I’m super worried. Delayed concussion ABI IV (she only has vision in one eye and now the other is gone) this is not good.
Her life is about to change drastically and it’s going to be an awful adjustment for her and I just feel so sad.
i’m not sure how to go about this.
Been through something similar with my Mum a few years back. Did the hospital give you any info on ‘confusion’, which is a known side effect of such falls?
All one can do is to be there for her, preferably turning up at a regular time of the day as predictability is key. Try to avoid surprising her, or doing a data dump of new information, cos it may not be grasped fully. This isn’t the moment to attempt to get her to agree to home help etc. I made that mistake with my Mum, and so did my brother who didn’t understand that my Mum couldn’t grasp new information at that point. It didn’t end well. Also, I suspect your brother & SIL aren’t going to be much use. Try to be there at least once a day.
You might like to get her a radio with simple controls - the twist sort - with comfy headphones. If she’s got low or no vision then having some means of blotting out the other activity in the ED or hospital room is very helpful. Phone apps rely on vision to operate the controls. Boredom and the ceaseless sounds and activity around her is a nasty mix when she’s trying to sleep and a radio helps. My mum also felt better when she had her favorite shawl/throw to wrap herself in as she found the hospital ambient temperature too chilly for comfort.
Clean clothes/laundry, hairdressing etc. will also help her to feel better. The nurses can’t do all of this, so you or other rellos will probably have to do this as required. Also familiar food - hospital food varies a great deal depending on the hospital and the time of day. Not all of it is edible imo. If her doctor agrees, then homelike food is good.
Thank you kindly for that advice. I’m going to follow all of that.
I’m so sorry mate. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling at the moment. I hope everything turns out the best that it can ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you :)
So sorry to read this. Best to you both.
Thank you.
I’m so sorry; this is such a hard thing to go through. Further to what Thornbury witch suggested, it can be helpful to visit around mealtimes or when things need to be done. One time my mum was in hospital, I tried to visit regularly to help with her meals, etc., as the staff were run off their feet. It also means you can keep on top of what treatment is happening and help provide medical info to the staff, too
We’re all here for you and your mum, always. I am so so sorry about you both going through this. Please reach out if you need support. And feel free to vent to/at me any time you need.
Hugs to you all
I am so sad for you. Like TW said, it’s gentle supportive steps right now. Rest and time will help all of you.
An unsurprising day (mostly) offline. It’s been good, but I still make choc chip bikkies at 9:30pm, so probably says a lot about my state of mind. They didn’t even turn out that good. Went shopping but everything I bought (mostly sparkly makeup) I already have similar stuff to, but I’m taking it as buying things that bring me joy.
Cried when I went into my bedroom earlier, just thinking the little dog would have lifted his head as I turned on the light. It’s gonna take time to break these habits, that muscle memory.
Right now it hurts bad, but it will get better.
Helps remembering that you have him his best life. No one could’ve done better.
Stay strong and you’ll be good. The world is worse off but for the best in the long run.
So sorry. I didn’t realise. hugs
I’m sorry Spin. Sending you my love. 💜💜💜
so many hugs
❤️❤️❤️
Well I fucking nailed that Butter Chicken. Both kids had seconds. That never happens lately. Put it in the oven for 15 minutes and managed to crisp up the chicken perfectly.
I love when that happens. I made slumgullian recently and it was requested on regular rotation.
w00t w00t!
That’s a big plus daddy-o 👍
need some of that DT perspective.
So for Christmas this year we are traveling to the inlaws, this involves a short flight to a state we cant drive to (I’ll give you 2 guesses). Not STOKED about traveling cause its MUCH easier for them to come to us, but whatever. They often to a greater family thing on Christmas day. I’ve been asking for months what the plan is. Finally found out that Christmas day plans are 2 hours drive from their place, strike 2. And that there isnt room for us to stay the night so we would have to drive back (for a total of 4 hours in the car) or spend over 1k on accommodation overnight, strike 3. Given we only fly in Christmas eve (and i depart day after boxing day) Im a bit… not enthused about the whole thing. Mrs B is acting like im the asshole for not wanting to travel or spend even more than we had originally planned to do, I claim the goalposts have been moved and its too much to expect of us with a toddler. So, thoughts?
I’m sorry but if the in-laws have no place for their child, child’s spouse and their grandchild…fuck’em.
That’s piss poor parenting.
I would give up my own bedroom and sleep on couches for such guests!!! Or blow up mattresses!!
That’s a good point. We’ve offered to share our place with family flying in. We don’t really have room for them. Kids will be sleeping on camp mats and sharing bedrooms, adults will be sleeping on the sofa bed. It’ll be tight. But we’ll make it work if they need a roof.
Sorry I probably wasnt clear. Grandparents have tons of space for us. but the extended family doesnt have space, and their place is 2 hours away. All their kids/grandkids and stuff are coming and they get first dibs apparently. Sort of makes sense I guess, they’d be… tinyest’s second cousins I think?
What the absolute fuck? I’m also really sorry that you happened to catch covid this Christmas and didn’t wanna risk harming your in laws.
😂😂😂
Which bit of this is enjoyable?
😂
I mean, for me the absolute highlight of the trip is gonna be regretting sharing a seat with tinyest. He was a lot smaller when I booked it and I decided “Screw it, its cheaper he can just sit on my lap”. Betting im gonna be kicked from here to there.
Combined with the cost of everything and also a family to tow around with you without accomodation, I think it’s unreasonable for you to have to spend the extra money, time and stress with it all.
It’s not helped by the Mrs opinion on this being the opposite of yours.
yeeeeeep thats the issue.
Sorry this is a hill I’d die on. You have a toddler, fam only told you plans now, and you have a metric fuckton of driving to do, AND ITS A THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR THE ACCOMADATION!
yeah nah, your missus can go by herself, but I don’t think this is doable. 4 hours min of driving with a toddler, plus the weather and the flying. Pfft
PFFT
PFFT INDEED
Oh she wants to! and she wants to take tinyest which I squarely put my foot down on. Too much for him. and Frankly, I’m entitled to enjoy Christmas too!
Sorry, but F the fact that there isn’t a place for you to stay when you’re already travelling interstate with a toddler.
AND that it would cost 1k for accommodation and they’re only telling you in November. With the cost of things?
TF is wrong with people.
thank you! thats my take on it. But the mrs is like “its no big deal”.
That’s a lot to ask. Personally I’d visit the inlaws later when it’s cheaper but Mrs. B will still be shitty about it. I’d offer a compromise. Go later for longer without that distance and more convenient for your fam.
Yeah tried that, went down like a lead balloon. Shes like “Well, if they want to go you can just stay at their place”. I said “Nup. if they want to go I’m staying home. We can fly over when its cheaper”.
You’re not the asshole here mate. The inlaws are the real assholes here.
NTA
When things change agreements must be renegotiated.
always amazes me how inlaws expect other people to spend money to see them, i would tell them cars and airplanes travel in both directions
they are typically pretty good. I think the mrs volunteered us to go over this year… I said thats fine but next year we’re staying put.
NTA. I wouldn’t do any of this let alone with a small child. It’s too much to ask and it’s just begging for tantrums because he’s hungry or overtired or overstimulated or bored. Or difficulties involving vomiting or nappy changes.
The adults can also get tired and stressed, maybe get into fights.
It’s ultimately between you guys but I looked at that itinerary and it all looks like way too much.
I’m extremely antisocial and introverted irl so would probably refuse and if need be I would fake illness
its more a money thing for me. I spending all this money to go spend christmas with them and they decide “actually, we might not even do christmas here” is a but sucky.
Do you want your boy travelling in a car for that long? I think you know the answer.
heck no!
Any chance you can find a camper van for rent late notice? Get your own car/accommodation and do more of what you want.
It just sounds too hard. Won’t hurt to miss one year, and they obviously weren’t thinking of you when these plans were being made.
Maribyrnong: Anglecised version of “Mirring-gnay-bir-nong”, which translates as ‘I can hear a ringtail possum’.
That made me laugh so fucking hard 😂😂😂 like it’s just an apt name for the area holy shit 😂💀
Source: apparently my own council website lol …merri-bek.vic.gov.au/…/names-melbourne#:~:text=T…
I tried proper bubble tea for the first time yesterday. So I took a sip, I paused, my eyes went big, I looked at my daughter and she said “Now chew, chew, chew, you can do it”. I’ve never had to chew a drink before. Those balls were huge.
My illustrated edition of the Hobbit did turn up and my god, I can’t believe I got so much book for $16. It’s got gold on the cloth bound hardcover, it’s nice and thick with glossy paper stock, and it’s full of drawings.
Independent book stores could sell this for $36, saying it’s marked down from $70 and they’d move so many units.
My partner has been complaining she’s been freezing cold all day and she just figured out that we forgot to switch the mode back to heating rather than air con from yesterday. Gotta love and laugh at these Melbourne problems 😂
Booked in for blood donation on Monday. Lifeblood texted me and were basically like “yo, heard you got that A+ blood, which we need. Gimme and we’ll give you snacks” which works on me.
Woo I didn’t need to pull a full Karen to get insurance address fuckery fixed
I’ve locked in the 9pm slot next Thursday for the open mic. Will drop a reminder closer to the date if anyone wants to join :)
Just saved a moth that flew into my wine.
God speed little one I gotchu.
I love my partner - he’s listening to Chappell Roan in the shower 😂 hands down my favourite person!
I woke up this morning realising I only set my earlier alarm for the usual days I’d be in the office. I got ready as quickly as possible and jumped on the bike to the station because I wouldn’t make the bus. I got there the same time as the bus and still made it to the office by 8
Everyone learns differently, at varying paces; don’t get frustrated Spud! 😭
Few thing better than being stoned on a Friday morning
The man has the day off and I’m wondering how early is too early to start day drinking? I’m thinking we should have a boozy brunch.
No emoji theme? I feel bereft.
Today I’ve had 4 coffees, 1 slice of cake, a few mouthfuls of Twisties, some challah, 3 chocolate chip cookies and a can of tuna.
Now I need to decide what to eat for dinner.
Hm. Someone I’ve never talked to with a bunch of mod removed comments messaged me ‘hello’. Not to be rude but that seems mildly sus so that’s a block.
I don’t really like DMs at the best of times and usually completely shut them.
Today’s my first proper ‘in a funk all day due to a shit work interaction with a client’ since I started here maybe ten weeks ago. It sucks that it lingers
I sent you a DM
I like the analogy the man gave me while explaining fast charging and slow charging.
You can eat your meal fast or slow. It doesn’t matter, you’re still gonna get full but it’s good to eat it slow if you can
Oh. Me nods. I get that.
Ps. He said other things but it didn’t quite go in.
Accidentally a little hungover. Gonna have to be beef vindaloo for lunch
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone 1 month ago
Image
Gibson in her first week living at my place ❤️
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone 1 month ago
So innocent, so deadly :)
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone 1 month ago
If I had light skin, I could show you the scars lol
Catfish@aussie.zone 1 month ago
OMG the tiny squee! You dun good 😺
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone 1 month ago
We came to an agreement. She does pretty much whatever she wants, and I deal with it lol
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone 1 month ago
I ♥ Gibson.