Nobody wants a dirty tax evader for a child
Anon entertains himself while his parents are gone
Submitted 10 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/94eb7de5-bf57-4f6e-ad6a-0a1d4389c9f9.jpeg
Comments
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 10 months ago
praise_idleness@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
[deleted]mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 10 months ago
conservatives: crying, then praying.
liberals: laughing, then, worrying (if they live in the crappy parts of the country that persecute lgbtq folk)
therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Conservatives: crying, then praying
Liberals: crying, then making a AITA post on reddit
Zozano@aussie.zone 10 months ago
It awakened something in them and they needed to rent a hotel room for a half hour.
corus_kt@lemmy.world 10 months ago
The kind of kink that awakens from my son talking like Fat Albert in a dress is beyond my imagination. The world is truly vast
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Trying for a second kid because they clearly messed up with the first
Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
I was with my partner at their parents’ house years ago and we were naked and had tails in our asses. I was changing the input on the TV from their bed, ass towards the door, when their dad came in. Excitedly, about to tell us about something he was psyched about like “HEY SO I JUS—“
Immediately backed out and closed the door softly. We came out ten minutes later, washed our hands, and walked into the living room where he was reading a book. He says “how’s it going!” and we’re like “Great!” and he goes back to reading.
I think he put that one in the vault.
Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 10 months ago
OK, this one got me pretty good. But does anyone else come out with some weird shit when they’re on their own? I do more and more these days.
theangryseal@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I pretend to speak in different languages. I give speeches as Mao Zedong, Hitler, Churchill, Kennedy, tv preachers, etc. I play with different high pitched Lincoln sounds and encourage the troops. I’ve encouraged ships full of pirates to prepare for Spanish ships and all the treasure that awaits them. I’ve called back to Houston to describe the moons of Jupiter. I’ve recorded my farewell to my family as the ship runs out of oxygen. I’ve been Napoleon just before a large battle, Alexander making promises to the Persians.
There might be something wrong with me.
One of the most embarrassing moments of my life was when I was alone at work for hours, very slow day. I started doing my best fake German Hitler impression and oh boy, the SS were seigin’ and heilin’. We were losing the war. Out of nowhere an old dude came walking out of the bathroom. He nodded at me with a look like he was embarrassed for my ancestors and descendants, I nodded at him with the reddest face on the planet. Took me months to get over that one. Fortunately he had an out of state tag and I haven’t seen him since. I hope I never see him again.
Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 10 months ago
I can’t remember what I said but whilst deep in conversation with myself early one morning on the way to work I made eye contact with a woman who was getting out of her car. I froze, her expression quickly changed to something I can only describe as an “I’m not getting raped today” face with a mixture of sheer terror and anger, before she got back in her car and sped away. That one also shook me for a good few months, mostly due to her parting visage.
I find myself often coming out with “finger in the butt” or some variation (finger in your butt, finger up the butt etc) which is a bit weird as I’m English and don’t use the word butt in normal conversation. Also, for some reason lately the “N” word in lots of permutations. It’s not completely involuntary as I can control it when I need to but I’m not really consciously doing it when it happens either.
lars@lemmy.sdf.org 10 months ago
out of state tag
What is this in your world, like a Polish dog collar???
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
14 year olds who masturbate on basically everything, to everything, in everything, everywhere
TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Wait we’re supposed to stop after we turn 15?
Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 10 months ago
Yea they sure do, just don’t understand how that’s connected to my original comment?
minibyte@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Grown man. Walk around house naked. Do the occasional helicopter.
Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 10 months ago
Are you describing what you do or giving me suggestions? Either way I love it.
Captain_Buddha@lemmy.world 10 months ago
They said “weird shit” you do broseph.
Psych@lemmy.sdf.org 10 months ago
Yes I … Wait never mind that’s depression .
Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 10 months ago
Is it?
NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Sometimes I have fun pretending to be a character reacting to a situation. Not always while alone, either.
I playfully narrated my ex playing Borderlands as Cid. Specifically FF7 Cid. Had us both fucking dying as I would just randomly launch into it, normally while stoned with the pipe still in the corner of my mouth.
It’s entertaining as fuck.
pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
do the most random things ever and confuse yourself
Tb0n3@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
That’s only what OP thinks happened. In reality his house was getting broken into and they saw his Buffalo Bill ass and turned around.
Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 10 months ago
Would you hey, hey, hey me? I’d hey, hey, hey me…
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
iiGxC@slrpnk.net 10 months ago
JackbyDev@programming.dev 10 months ago
Honestly, probably the best outcome.