April Fool’s Day
Ted Cat just ran up to me and bit me. Not hard but still. 😡He’s angry at me for not giving him unlimited food like my husband did when I was sick with sciatica.
Daily Discussion Thread: 🦍 Mon 1 Apr 2024
Submitted 8 months ago by CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone to melbourne@aussie.zone
Comments
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 8 months ago
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Mmm. Tastes like chicken. 🙀
Baku@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Does Ted look like a bear?
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Yes. He is a fluffy heckin chonker
RustyRaven@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Cat’s can’t pinch and punch so he’s just working with what he has.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 8 months ago
sometimes i think cats are the bravest animals in the world
they are so tiny compared to us humans yet they will put up a fight
underwatermagpies@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Angry cats are so adorable. Not that that helps. What a naughty boy!
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Hiss eyes were as big as saucers
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Kitty bloodlust.
all of a sudden… bam… we’re no longer the apex predator.
anotherspringchicken@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Water pistol time
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 8 months ago
He would not care at all.
One time he attacked Bill and then ate Bill’s food. I smacked Ted, just a soft smack, but he did not stop eating. I had to drag him away while he was hissing at me and then feed Bill in another room.
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Woo hoo. The kid’s gone for a few days. Time to partay with a latte. 🎉
bacon@aussie.zone 8 months ago
The body of Jesus has been found. He remains dead. Easter is cancelled. Today is no longer a public holiday. Off to work and school.
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Too bad because I ate the eggs already.
bacon@aussie.zone 8 months ago
One of those eggs would have hatched to become Jesus 2.0. You’ve doomed us all.
melbaboutown@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Hmm… looking at the date today I’d say you’re facon
just_kitten@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Incredible effort by bacon to go as far as renaming themselves!
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Pinch and a punch for the first of the month. No returns.
RustyRaven@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Well that got a bit intense. The rain got so heavy traffic slowed down to about walking speed and multiple people decided to just pull over and wait instead. I got totally drenched running the 5m from my car to my front door. I’ve changed into dry clothes and Miss Meow is now ensconsed on my lap purring. Mr Woof has forgiven me for the lack of a walk and is also on the couch for moral support.
Cendana@aussie.zone 8 months ago
The rain intensified while we were already enroute thankfully. Wife was enjoying her time listening the rain.
just_kitten@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the heaviest rain will have mostly cleared by 7am, when I need to walk to the carshare and then drive to work…
Aradina@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
Man, even the BOM getting in on April Fools with the storm forecast. Barely anything >:(
Mittens_meow@aussie.zone 8 months ago
That was the prelude. Worst is later this evening
kudra@aus.social 8 months ago
@Mittens_meow @Aradina correct, current radar shows more incoming shortly
melbaboutown@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Listening to music and slowly putting away the craft stuff into bags. I figure I’m still pretty burned out on it and I can’t wash balls of wool or half made things - so getting them off the floor, out of the way, and sealing them up so any fleas die.
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Just do what you can mate. We’re all cheering for ya. ♥
melbaboutown@aussie.zone 8 months ago
🦥
melbaboutown@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I’m so understimulated but too exhausted to actually do anything… and my focus is shot
Baku@aussie.zone 8 months ago
If there was anybody still trying to be optimistic and hold out hope that any of this paper crap that [major] companies do “for a sustainable future” is anything but a marketing ploy, on the page for the paper food wrapping stuff, you have to enter your age, and if you’re under a certain age, you’re literally refused access to the website.
Why? Because the entire thing is just a marketing stunt, and there’s rules about marketing things to young children
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Well that hasn’t happened to me for a while. Just got home from a lunch engagement, and checked the washing on the line. ALL of it has brown streaks from the rain. The little rain we did get has clearly knocked some nasty stuff out of the air. Even the laundry basket had a puddle of brown water on the base. Currently re-washing everything that was on the line. Grrr.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I like your optimism butI’m still going to the water the chili plants, they are looking dry.
ponte92@aussie.zone 8 months ago
So in general I don’t find studying plagues to be too depressing but today I am writing a thesis chapter that deals with some really heavy stuff that’s getting to me and I’m finding it hard to write. So if anyone knows any silly jokes please nows the time to post them!
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone 8 months ago
What’s it called when two strains of a disease are identical?
Plague-arism
Sorry
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone 8 months ago
What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.
PeelerSheila@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Q: What do you call a guy with a shovel in his head? A: Doug.
Q: What do you call a guy without a shovel in his head? A: Douglas.
Q: What do call a guy with a seagull on his head? A: Cliff.
Q: What do you call a guy floating off the end of a pier? A: Bob.
Q: What do you call a guy tied up in a bag of leaves? A: Russell.
Q: What do you call a guy with a picture frame around his neck? A: Arty.
Q: What do you call a guy with scoliosis? A: Archie.
Q: What do you call a guy with 50 rabbits up his bum? A: Warren.
Llabyrinthine@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Hahaha, I love these, although for us Russell was a guy in the bushes. 😂
StudChud@aussie.zone 8 months ago
What’s another name for a snail?
Answer
A booger with a crash helmet.
(12yo me thought that was the funniest fking shit lol)
briongloid@aussie.zone 8 months ago
APRIL FOOLS
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone 8 months ago
This reminds me of a work colleague, who had his passport issued on 1st April some years ago. Every single time he had to use it, it was questioned … He ended up obtaining a letter from Immigration confirming that the passport was the real deal. You’d think someone would have anticipated this and held up the application for one day, but nooooo.
Baku@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I don’t really understand why. April 1st is a date just like all the others, and if your passport was fake, you would probably not be putting April fools day on it. I’d only be suspicious of the date if it was a public holiday
Gibsonisafluffybutt@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I’m at a party. It’s been almost a decade maybe since I’ve been to one and it feels nice but it takes some getting used to.
bacon@aussie.zone 8 months ago
i was about to express disappointment but radar shows more incoming
useless_modern_god@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Thank you for keeping us a breast
just_kitten@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I don’t want breast, it’s too bland!
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 8 months ago
recaptcha freaks me out with all the people riding motorcycles wearing light sandals and shorts, no gloves
Baku@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I really wanted sushi earlier, even though they do a 20% holiday surcharge. Whatever, I wanted sushi, I just sucked it up and paid for it. But then when I got home I saw they actually charged me 6 cents more than what they said my total was, and what the receipt says my total was (after surcharge). On the one hand, it’s only 6 cents, hardly worth fighting for, but on the other they essentially stole it from me. If you tell me one price, and your screen says that same price, and the receipt says the same price, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal
I actually do normally fight these sorts of things, as pathetic as it sounds, on the principal alone. But it takes a lot more motivation to when it involves physically going down there and complaining. A lot easier to do when I can write half an angrily worded email and get ChatGPT to do the rest. I also went to one of those franchise places, and I never have a very high success rate with those. And the ACCCs about as useless as tits on a bull
Sometimes I really just wanna flee to one of those fancy countries where they do weird foreign things like caring about their citizens and not letting shady businesses do dodgy things. The only problem is they are always really really cold
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Marge!
Baku@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I was just going to do this, although I had a whole joke lined up about how odd it is I’m making a joke about something that predates me by like a decade
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Haha sorry to cramp your style.
Baku@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Help my Lemmy just became Reddit!
spoiler Just ignore the fact I only have like 2 jokes about reddit, and that I don't know how to inspect element pictures around
Baku@aussie.zone 8 months ago
God this was such a bad joke. I was only gonna change one thing, then I spent 20 minutes changing many things
Aradina@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
I have no idea what it is but I can hear a constant low rumbling coming from somewhere. It’s weirdly comforting because I used to live somewhere that had a similar sound and it reminds me of that.
Also I’m not looking forward to the internet being very annoying for a day. Grumble grumble
Baku@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Make it 2 days. You’ll get pranked by us normal people, and then the yanks and assorted people on the other side of the date line will get in on it tomorrow
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone 8 months ago
You’re all in for a treat ⚡ ☔
RustyRaven@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Oh dear. Mr Woof’s after work walk is in jeopardy. He will be very unimpressed.
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Sorry Mr Woof 😔
just_kitten@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I’ve been spending all afternoon watching Michael McIntyre clips on Youtube. I dunno how I didn’t know about him before. Some of the jokes around domestic life and kids are a bit flat but he’s absolutely brilliant with the observational humour otherwise.
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I have some mince to use up so I’ve decided to go in blind. Chuck in some spices and veg. Sweet, spicy. I don’t know whatever comes out is good enough.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 8 months ago
We’ve had our ten drops of rain. Rain now finished.
Cendana@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Ah the joys of languages.
Went for a walk with my wife. Coming in the other direction was a family of mum and kid and a few others.
In Cantonese, “muscle” is pronounced like “gay yok”. “Chicken” as in the meat is like “gaiy yok”. Very similar pronounciation.
Mum was telling the kid he’s out for a walk to build muscle. Kid keeps on telling their mum they wanted chicken meat. Mum keeps on telling them, “muscle, not chicken meat”.
Couldn’t help but laugh which got my wife’s attention, so I translated the conversation.
Now my wife has once again asked me to reinstate support for Cantonese language. I did say no once again though as it’s pointless.
bacon@aussie.zone 8 months ago
it IS true we need to eat more guy yuk to build gay yuk
bacon@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Breakfast 💿📷📼☎️📺🎥📻🕰️⏳💡🕯️💵💎⚖️🪜🧰🪛🔧🔨⛏️🪚🔩⚙️🪤🧱⛓️🧲🔫💣🔪🛡️⚰️🪦🔮🧿💈🔭🔬🕳️🩻🩺💊🩸💉🧬🧫🧪🧹🧻🚽🚿🧼🪥🪒🧽🪣🧴🛎️🗝️🚪🪑🛋️🛏️🧸🖼️🪞🪟🛒🎈✉️
just_kitten@aussie.zone 8 months ago
It’s a bit late but I wouldn’t mind some gene splicing to get ahead in life thanks.
bacon@aussie.zone 8 months ago
🧬💉
RustyRaven@aussie.zone 8 months ago
A magnet, a key and a stethoscope please.
bacon@aussie.zone 8 months ago
🧲🗝️🩺
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 8 months ago
ha ha
I just got reported on another site for telling someone they should never go full retard …lol
Baku@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Is there anything happening in the city tomorrow? They’ve declared southern cross and half the cbd to be designated areas, ie they can search anybody and anything in there for any reason, including no reason
oztrin@aussie.zone 8 months ago
And here’s the rain now.
StudChud@aussie.zone 8 months ago
thunderBOLT and lightNING
very very frightNING^Galileo^ Galileo ^Galileo^ Galileo Galileo Figaro
MAGNIFICO
bull@aussie.zone 8 months ago
I’ll be 41 years old this month.
I’d like to say I’ve lived a bit of a life. I’ve had and lost friends. I’ve found and lost love. I was even married for a little while. I was directionless career-wise but now I’m quite successful and am paid well. I’m moderately well-travelled. I’ve been to and seen a lot of places both domestic and abroad and not all of them were so nice… some were even outright sketchy.
But today, on April 1st 2024 - I saw my very first bona fide, honest-to-god, ready for use, manky Glory Hole. A clearly frequented hole in the side of a toilet stall complete with some eager gent waiting on the other side.
From now on my life has been split in two; before I saw a Glory Hole and after. I was so young in the before-times. So naive. So full of hope.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 8 months ago
you wrote ready for use
the mental image you evoked was that it was in use by one member of the public already
just waiting on another member
anotherspringchicken@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Well that was a twist!
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Oh no. I need to know if it’s local to me.
bull@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Nah but I’m pretty sure Hannah Watts Park would have one if you’re hunting one down.
This was at Yarraville Shopping Centre.
StudChud@aussie.zone 8 months ago
So… Did you use it or nah?
bull@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Seemed rude not to.
spoiler
Seriously though I actually did a big Nope-180 out of the stall and found another at the other end.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone 8 months ago
😐
wscholermann@aussie.zone 8 months ago
Men really are dogs.