Modern beauty standards

Comments

• lugal@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW

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  • TxzK@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is. For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.

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    • FaceDeer@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Sounds like we need to get the SCP Foundation involved. I'm getting some serious Turn Down for What vibes from this.

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  • MamboGator@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I had kind of a crappy day at work but this comment and three beers have made it all better.

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    • lugal@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Glad to be of service!

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• multifariace@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  She’s a man eater.

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  • Anticorp@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Watch out boy she’ll chew you up.

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    • klemptor@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Ohhh-ohhh here she comes

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• federated_toast@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Zorak approved

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  • fossilesque@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    /blink

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• Treevan@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Also a good Mother (photo taken yesterday):

  Image

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  • The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Some Mantis dude died for this pi5

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    • Treevan@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Plus the babies eat each other. It’s dying all the way down.

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    • Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Turns out that whole thing was wolf science; the researchers were literally starving them so of course they would resort to cannibalism.

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  • JustUseMint@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    How it walk round wit dat wagon

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  • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Junk on the trunk

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• Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  This was actually the inspiration for some art I got, the initial idea being that the person wished for an ideal girlfriend and ended up with an insect lady.

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  • Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    ::: spoiler In case you were curious what it looked like, here is the concept art I drew bug person concept art

    And the completed version can be found at: twitter.com/ElietteQlay/…/1680868917038776320?s=2…

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  • SevenOfWine@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    There’s a Craig Ferguson interview, where he says one of the secrets of some(!!!) of the most attractive Hollywood actors, is that in real-life they look like bug people. You know, weird looking, big eyes, huge head, tiny body. Looks great on camera and in 2d, not so much in the flesh. Probably also why IRC some Hollywood insiders call actors lollipop people. Stick with a big head on it.

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  • tegs_terry@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The fallacy your under is that this things are ‘big’ or ‘small’ which implies they’re not actually ideal. That leads to hyperbole like this where the proportions are too extreme.

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    • Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Tell me about it. There’s a meme among artists where they ask for proportions to be bigger and bigger until the thing in question takes up the entire page. You’re like “Are you sure this is what you want” and they’re like “Hmm you think you can make it juust a little bigger?”

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• EntropicalVacation@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  “She had six strong legs and it frightened me. She had insect eyes but I could still see that the look she gave him you give to me.”

  Image

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  • KreekyBonez@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    well, now I know this exists.

    thanks, I guess

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• Gork@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  So hot.

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• numberfour002@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Her milk shake brings all the bugs to her arms.

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• Spendrill@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Wikipedia:
  To mate
  following courtship,
  the male usually leaps onto the female’s back,
  clasping her thorax and wing bases
  with his forelegs.
  He then arches his abdomen
  to deposit and store sperm
  in a special chamber near the tip of the female’s abdomen.
  The female lays between 10 and 400 eggs,
  depending on the species. Eggs are typically deposited in a froth mass-produced by glands
  in the abdomen.
  This froth hardens,
  creating a protective capsule,
  which together with the egg mass
  is called an ootheca.

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  • badcommandorfilename@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    poemforyoursprog is that you?

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    • Spendrill@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I just liked the wikipedia entry and thought it had a touch more poetry and… enthusiasm let us say than I was expecting. And no, poemforyoursprog would have made it all rhyme.

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• MataVatnik@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Will eat you after you blow your load

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  • Assman@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’m listening

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  • AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Doesn’t matter, had sex 😎

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  • threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    after

    And in some cases, while.

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    • MataVatnik@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The female may begin feeding by biting off the male’s head (as they do with regular prey), and if mating has begun, the male’s movements may become even more vigorous in its delivery of sperm.

      Bruh

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  • JustUseMint@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me

    yewtu.be/watch?v=-sMQpWCNTQw

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    • MataVatnik@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      A classic

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• deweydecibel@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Skinny legs? Is that a thing people want?

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  • stelelor@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Look up “thigh gap”. Not saying I agree with it, just that it’s a thing.

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    • MonkderZweite@feddit.ch ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Isn’t that a thing of teens and underweight people?

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• _sideffect@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I don’t like huge butts, like the bbl. It’s gross

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  • thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You dislike big butts and you cannot lie?

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    • _sideffect@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      😂

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• Rodeo@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  ✅ Flesh-rending claws

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• maculata@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  All fine but I don’t like big butts.

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  • fossilesque@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Probably for the best, you can tell these types are man eaters with one look.

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    • maculata@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Does she only come out at night?

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  • GluWu@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Can you lie?

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    • maculata@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am truthful to a fault.

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• umbrella@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  skinny legs aint sexy when paired with a big butt

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• Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  You know how 3d glasses make anyone 3000x times more attractive? Well guess what, they can wear 3d glasses too.

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