Some of the other writings that didnât make the cut for the canonical bible are wild.
Comment on .đ¤¨.
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Official explanation: The Holy Spirit narrated to the author. This can be quite removed, some books were written many years after the event, some were passed down. Then the Council of Nicea went through all of these tales and said âThis is real, we can tell, were putting this in the Bible.â
They also resolved a pressing issue for the new church. âStop cutting off your balls, this is a metaphor, not literal instructions. Even though He said that they were instructions, that was also a metaphor.â
You probably think Iâm joking⌠but sadly, no.
im_fine_sandy@nord.pub â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
LillyPip@lemmy.ca â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
I feel cheated that they cut the version of the nativity where Jesus was born in a cave and fought a literal dragon, after which the dragons and some lions bowed down to him (apocryphal Gospel of James).
That would have been a much better scene under the Xmas tree.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Well, he didnât say you canât rape little boysâŚ
jim_v@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
bitjunkie@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
My fucking sides. What is this from?
jim_v@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
A Mel Brooks comedy from 1981. It has different dark takes on notable events in history, like our clumsy guy Moses here.
nunzioweb.com/video/history-part1/
This bit happens at 08:10.
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
No, thatâs death penalty!
Oh, wait, it says âmanâ, canât lay with a âmanâ, not boy. Hmm. Best to ask for forgiveness just to cover your ass.
Itâs certainly okay to murder a boy if he has been disrespectful or disobedient. (Please note that this is not my personal view, this is Biblical, I didnât write it please donât call ICE on me).
18 If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, âThis son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.â 21 Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid. ~Deuteronomy 21:18-21
Beatings are also fine from a Bible perspective, but not too much⌠but donât spare the rod (Proverbs 13:24)! Read your Bible for further details (I recommend King James 1611).
neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Flagging for best-of-lemmy
VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
âOh, just one more thing⌠you canât get married. No, He didnât say that, but weâre inspired by the Magic Bird, so mote it be.â
Didnât that one come later because certain members of the clergy were having kids and functionally turning their positions into hereditary fiefdoms?
HK65@sopuli.xyz â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
IiRC it was more so that the Church got actual fiefdoms and wanted control so that potential priestly families wouldnât just distance themselves into secular noble houses, taking lands with them.
Fiefdoms and related duties originated from kings, so the church wanted similar parallel rights over their vassal priests.
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
This great synod absolutely forbids a bishop, presbyter, deacon or any of the clergy to keep a woman who has been brought in to live with him, with the exception of course of his mother or sister or aunt, or of any person who is above suspicion.
This is what i was referring to, but it may have been a later council? I am finding conflicting claims
ceiphas@feddit.org â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
The celibate came in the middle ages and wasnt a law before the begin of the 20th century
PapaStevesy@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
The celibate came
I guess theyâre no longer celibate thenâŚ
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
This great synod absolutely forbids a bishop, presbyter, deacon or any of the clergy to keep a woman who has been brought in to live with him, with the exception of course of his mother or sister or aunt, or of any person who is above suspicion.
This is what I was referring to.
⌠and celibacy has been part of Christianity for longer than it has been called Christianity⌠including forced celibacy through castration.
Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Wait what? Really? I mean I figured. JustâŚit was basically like that?
Squirrelanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
I read this in the voice of Bill Wurtz, jingles included.
Someone could make a religion out of this.
scathliath@lemmy.dbzer0.com â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
To be fair, the âYou canât get marriedâ issue happened seven hundred years later under Gregory the Seventh, and at the time, the other patriarchs who remained following the rise of Islam thought the Archbishop of Rome, the Pope, was nuts too. Which is why Coptic and Greek Orthodox priests can marry, along with Protestant priests. All arguing âChrist never said you needed to absolutely forgoe sex, that was Paul and Peter.â
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
âThis great synod absolutely forbids a bishop, presbyter, deacon or any of the clergy to keep a woman who has been brought in to live with him, with the exception of course of his mother or sister or aunt, or of any person who is above suspicion.â
This is what I was referring to, from the First Council of Nicaea.
scathliath@lemmy.dbzer0.com â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Honestly, I might eat my hat here and go on a rabbit hole about early priestly marriage myself.
âThis great synod absolutely forbids a bishop, presbyter, deacon or any of the clergy to keep a woman who has been brought in to live with him, with the exception of course of his mother or sister or aunt, or of any person who is above suspicion.â Okay, so as you know, from your source; phrased as so.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea The wikipedia provides some clarification on the issue. âprohibition of a man and a woman who have both taken vows of chastity to live together in a chaste and non-legalized partnership (the so-called virgines subintroductae, who practiced syneisaktism)â the last word being a Greek term for âspiritual marriageâ which was chaste, but also unofficial in the eyes of the law? Iâm not sure Iâm reading it correctly myself.
ImWaitingForRetcons@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
The Council of Nicaea did not decide the books of the canon, it decided on whether Jesus was equal to God or notâŚ
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
It decided many things other than âJesus was equal to God or not.â
You should read about it!
ImWaitingForRetcons@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Yes, but canonicity was certainly not one of them:
tkk13909@sopuli.xyz â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
FYI, the council of Nicea had nothing to do with biblical canon. Thatâs a common misconception.
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Feel free to correct me with any source! I am interested.
tkk13909@sopuli.xyz â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
If you read through the list of canons you linked, none of them mentions a list of books that are to be considered part of the bible. The âcanonsâ listed are basically just rules about different things in the church and were put in place to address splits that were forming as the church grew. The books of the bible were not in any way decided at Nicaea.
tkk13909@sopuli.xyz â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
If you would like to read more and/or correct me on anything, Iâm pulling from www.britannica.com/âŚ/First-Council-of-Nicaea-325 and en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea
jimmy90@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
thereâs a whole section of the library called fiction
itâs going to blow your mind
M137@lemmy.today â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
âThis can be quite removedâ
What? Iâm not sober so itâs very possible Iâm just bring stupid and not understanding the words, they just make no sense to me at the moment and I canât figure out what you were trying to write (in the case of me not being dumb right now).
historicaldocuments@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
âQuite removedâ in terms of time.
It means that the church failed to destroy records about how the stuff they peddle wasnât written anywhere near the events they supposedly describe. Youâre supposed to spend years studying the book upon threat of physical violence or death until you reach a point where youâre too invested in the mythos to bother questioning it. Youâre supposed to NOT study all the figures that we have written records of that predate the jesus myth:
tomi000@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
You mean the four authors who all wrote the same story but slightly different?
Holy spirit talking to people must have been common back then. Strange how it just stopped.
spankysalmon@fedinsfw.app â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
It didnât stop, we just understand it as psychosis these days.
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world â¨3⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Oh, it hasnât stopped, friend.
Go to any Assembly of God church on Sunday; they are inspired my the Holy Spirit, and speak in tongues! Holy Spirit talks to all who will listen.
The Bible teaches that when you accept Christ, the Holy Spirit infuses you with magical wisdom and intellect. This is why you can be sure that your thoughts are legitimate and righteous.