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I have this theory that with proper technique, you can beat anything you can lift in a fight. That being said, Gorillas are too heavy to lift. Conversely, you’ll likely have extreme difficulty fighting anything that’s too heavy for you to lift. Anything with natural weapons, like sharp teeth, this rule of thumb likely also doesn’t apply to. Anything larger than a cat should be considered dangerous by default.

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Anamnesis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Even cats will fuck you up if they really intend to.

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- thebestaquaman@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Only to a point though. They can break your skin, but they’re so small that you can literally throw them across the room. There’s no way a cat survives a human trying to kill them short of running away.
  
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  - LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    I think part of the problem with cats is that you don’t want to injure the cat, but the cat has no problem with injuring you. The stories I hear from people who dealt with panicking/aggressive cats are mostly about catching the cat without hurting it, while avoiding getting hurt yourself.
    
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    Klear@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    I was in a situation where a friend’s very aggressive cat was looking at a small lizard that escaped while I was supposed to be feeding both, but not to each other obviously. Basically I had to willingly put my hands into a blender to solve this. But I managed to get her into a different room and close the on her without hurting her in any way.
    
    Oh, and the lizard also bit me when I picked it up to put it back into its terrarium, but at that point I was way past caring.
    
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    thebestaquaman@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Exactly, I guess that was what I was getting at. A cat will mess you up, but only as long as you tolerate it. (I love cats btw. would never dream of hurting one)
    
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entwine413@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
The problem with apes is that relative to their size, they have way more muscle mass than humans. They have lower myostatin levels, so their muscle density is ridiculous.

There are humans that could absolutely lift a gorilla, but there’s absolutely no chance that they could win a fight against one. Even a strongman is going to struggle against a chimp.

Humans are different because we discovered tools which meant we were more successful hunters. Since large muscles require more calories, natural selection did its thing and we got much weaker.

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- somethingsnappy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  You know a lot of people that could lift 800lbs at all, much less when it’s fighting back with that strength? I can sled 800lbs, but no way in hell anyone is just picking that up.
  
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  - entwine413@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Not me personally, but strongman competitions are a thing.
    
    Humans and performance enhancing drugs can do some crazy shit. Check out the Physical 100 show on… Netflix? Those fuckers squat 600lb like it was a fanny pack.
    
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    Notyou@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Ronnie Coleman is the only person on earth that I know of as being able to used to lift 800lbs. I want to bold used to his muscle got strong enough but his tendons, ligaments, and bones weren’t. His body is wrecked and can’t really move without help.
    
    Point is even if someone could pick up 800lbs of gorilla, they ain’t doing much afterwards but getting killed by that gorilla.
    
    en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronnie_Coleman
    
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    somethingsnappy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Sort of my point. The squat bar, deadlifts, etc. aren’t fighting back. I’ll check the show out.
    
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  - 2d4_bears@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    There are plenty of people who can lift 800lbs in the idealized form of barbells along certain ranges of motion, such as the deadlift or squat. However, I sincerely doubt any human could lift 800lbs of dead weight gorilla, much less one that is struggling. The heaviest stones that have been lifted are in the mid 600# range, and lifting a stone is easier than lifting an equivalent weight of floppy body.
    
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- MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  No, we are first that way because we exhaustion hunted prey. Endurance in human is ridiculous but we aren’t that strong. Then came the throwing, with adaptions in the shoulders. Best any other ape can “throw” is a few meters, not tens of it.
  
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slaacaa@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I can lift a fully-grown horse above my head, and I can hold my breath for ten minutes.

To settle a wager, I once ate a pound of P.B. Fouke’s strongest badger poison and then ran a mile in the nude. I cannot feel pain, and I can see for two miles unaided by a lens. No man can kill me. I have beaten a man of every race in formal combat, including a Turk, a Pygmy Negro Man and a rare Deepwater Jew.

A medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming that I have no soul.

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Initiateofthevoid@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Orangutans have entered the chat. Their only natural weapons are the long guns they’re packing. Lean machine all folded up in a big skin sack. Plenty of humans could bench an adult orangutan, zero humans are winning that fight.

That being said they’re basically just a half step down the neurology ladder and 2 steps up the jungle ladder, so it makes sense that they would outclass us.

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- Saledovil@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  I’m pretty sure an Orangutan could lift a human, though.
  
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  - festnt@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    way more easily than a human could lift an orangutan
    
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- DeltaWingDragon@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  
  Vimes picked himself up off the greasy cobbles and stared at the Librarian.
  He was experiencing something which had come as a shock to many people,
  usually in much more unpleasant circumstances such as a brawl started in the Mended Drum when the ape wanted a bit of peace and quiet to enjoy a reflective pint, which was this:
  the Librarian might look like a stuffed rubber sack, but what it was stuffed with was muscle.
  
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  - Initiateofthevoid@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    GNU Terry Pratchett!
    
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RvTV95XBeo@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Lots of creatures within the realm of benchable weight often have specialized defenses that could constitute a 1-hit KO if you fuck up in the slightest.

A chimp could rip your arms off. A kangaroo could crack all your ribs with a kick.

If you consider these “natural weapons” then sure, I guess that just limits you to fighting juvenile cows or something, at which point I’ll give it to you, I could probably take a newborn calf in a fight.

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- Saledovil@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  If you attack a calf, their mother will fuck you up, though. I suppose the lesson here is that humans should use weapons to fight animals.
  
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  - ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Or just set up a trap so the target will fall on it while you’re running away. Don’t fuck up
    
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FooBarrington@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Wait, you think you couldn’t beat a giraffe?

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- RvTV95XBeo@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  One punch from my scrawny nerd warrior arms and that fucker would shrug then donkey kick me half way across the fucking Serengeti.
  
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  - FooBarrington@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    No, you’re approaching this the wrong way. You run towards it at full speed, then get a 45° angle and jump. While doing so, you grab their neck like a pole, and use the force to hoist yourself upon their back.
    
    You either already killed them with this move, or you’re now on their back and holding their throat. There’s nothing a giraffe can do to throw you down or attack you now. You can just choke, and choke, and keep choking it until it falls to its knees.
    
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    RvTV95XBeo@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    You lost me at “run”. Can I bring my inhaler or does that count as a tool?
    
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    MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Their neck starts at 3 meter height tho.
    
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    itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    It can roll over. Do you like your legs? Besides, unless you’re a lion, good luck jumping up there. And even then, you’re not choking a giraffe out. Their neck is basically only muscle.
    
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