Both the title and the image seem to be misunderstanding what the story actually is saying, as if it were the king’s kid that got ate.
So, we gotta trick the rich into letting us eat them.
Submitted 10 months ago by ElBarto@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/76deda20-9603-442e-b2ed-04117dada41b.jpeg
Comments
qarbone@lemmy.world 10 months ago
themeatbridge@lemmy.world 10 months ago
24 Some time later, Ben-Hadad king of Aram mobilized his entire army and marched up and laid siege to Samaria. 25 There was a great famine in the city; the siege lasted so long that a donkey’s head sold for eighty shekels[a] of silver, and a quarter of a cab[b] of seed pods[c] for five shekels.[d]
26 As the king of Israel was passing by on the wall, a woman cried to him, “Help me, my lord the king!”
27 The king replied, “If the Lord does not help you, where can I get help for you? From the threshing floor? From the winepress?” 28 Then he asked her, “What’s the matter?”
She answered, “This woman said to me, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him today, and tomorrow we’ll eat my son.’ 29 So we cooked my son and ate him. The next day I said to her, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him,’ but she had hidden him.”
30 When the king heard the woman’s words, he tore his robes. As he went along the wall, the people looked, and they saw that, under his robes, he had sackcloth on his body. 31 He said, “May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if the head of Elisha son of Shaphat remains on his shoulders today!”
MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown@kbin.social 10 months ago
siege lasted so long that a donkey’s head sold for eighty shekels[a] of silver
Imagine a food shortage so bad that the nutritional value of the leather in the upholstery in your car is worth more than the cost of the car in good times.
dingus@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Can you explain for an ignorant person? Because to me it sounds like they just cannibalized someone.
Talaraine@kbin.social 10 months ago
They did. The people were starving to death. The woman's complaint was that her friend had talked her into eating their sons... but to eat hers first. When the time came to eat the friend's she played clueless about his whereabouts. The king was understandably upset at the state of affairs.
ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Yeah I fucked up, had a shitty day and didn’t pay attention, but .eh, still funny tho, just I’m an idiot.
Thteven@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Just kill and eat the king, he’s obviously shit at his job if they’re all starving.
olympicyes@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Do you think they made stickers featuring a photo of the king next to the words “I did that” to put on price tags for donkey heads? (II Kings 6:25)
WhereGrapesMayRule@lemmy.world 10 months ago
How much son chowder you need to eat anyway?
Iamsqueegee@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Shau-dere? Shau-dere? It’s “chowdah.” Say it right!
MissJinx@lemmy.world 10 months ago
More than zero is already to much
lugal@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
Wholesome
Idreamofcheesy@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I looked into the verse and aftermath until I got bored.
Did the sneaky cannibal mom ever get punished? I read enough to know the uneaten son remained uneaten.
And did no one get mad that they boiled the first lady’s son? Like, there’s got to be better ways to cook a child. Boiling meat rarely leads to a tasty dish. Unless they made a stew I guess
Aermis@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Stew? With what ingredients? Do you understand what position you’re in if your city is in a siege and brought to the point of eating children?
You should look into Holodomir
whereBeWaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Binding of isaac lore
AnxiousDater101@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Lame and delusional
ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
MissJinx@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Even if you are not religious (I’m not) we really need a Bible tv show. But it has to be 100% accurate, no cuting corners, at most they could modernize the language, but it has to be 100% of dialogues there. It would be amazing
dojan@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Cocks of horses and cums of donkeys and all that.
MissJinx@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Specially that, everything the relihious freaks would get mad about, but they can’t because bible.
Jimbo@yiffit.net 10 months ago
Who doesn’t want donkey cummies 💨💦💦
smeg@feddit.uk 10 months ago
100% accurate to which version? King James version? The Latin that was translated from? The Greek that was translated from? The original (I think) Hebrew?
ringwraithfish@startrek.website 10 months ago
And you’ve just summed up all religious conflicts.
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Unless you are cramming the whole book into a single episode or movie the religious weirdos will just cherry pick the episodes they like, as they do with the book now.
Mr_Fish@lemmy.world 10 months ago
That would be insanely hard to do accurately. There’s some repeated stories (kings/chronicles or Matthew/Mark/Luke/John), there’s stuff that isn’t a story at all (Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, song of songs), and most of the new testament is letters.
Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
I’d settle for a Bible written in plain, modern English. The closest I could find was Word on the Street but it was a white guy trying to write like a gangsta and it fell a bit flat.
CannedTuna@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
NIV doesn’t work for you?
There’s a newer translation called the EHV that I believe is supposed to be more understandable and plain English. Might try that.
Revan343@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
The Message is a pretty good modern translation
wiikifox@pawb.social 10 months ago
Try New World Translation
themeatbridge@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Not exactly what you’re thinking, but Moral Orel dabbled in this. It was made by the guy who provides the voice of Mickey Mouse, but you might know him better as the guy from the “this guy fucks” meme.
Emi621@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
The first thing that comes to mind is good omens but I don’t if it’s accurate.
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 10 months ago
It’s close enough.
ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
I want to see this done like an episode of Judge Judy, but it’s some bored king as judge.