My friends and I used to do something similar in uni. When we were drunk we used to just say “oh thats a problem for future me” before we did something that would cause a massive problem. After many miserable sunday mornings drunk me decided to be much nicer to future me. We ended up looking at drunk tasks as time skipping. Like if there was a 2hr walk home from the someones house we would be like oh ill do this drunk because its a time skip and ill wake up in my bed not remembering the walk home. Or cleaning the house, if you clean drunk then future you will wake up to a clean house. I’d wake up to a clean house, no hangover because i rememered to drink water, a powerrade next to my bed and id be like thanks drunk me.
Anon chooses to live in the moment
Submitted 1 month ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/44fe6123-5f26-4e94-859b-c550b21ede5e.jpeg
Comments
Fizz@lemmy.nz 1 month ago
11111one11111@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Once met a dude at college named Scummy Steve. Before meeting him I heard how he was getting kicked out of bars for “spiking” drinks. At the time I thought nothing of it. Figured dude was either sneaking into bars with bottle of liquor and ordering pepsi’s then spiking them with booze… that or he was spiking them with drugs. Had done tons of drugs by that time, never once found myself in presence of roofies but tons of molly and E were around so I assumed that’s what he was spiking drinks with. We used hide mushrooms in drunken 4am meals like PB&J sammies for unexpected victims (me or one of 5 other buddies, no part of this story is about the creepy roofie kinda spiking) either way I digress.
Finally met Scummy Steve out at one of the bars we were both underage drinking at. He was also famous for getting a dwi going to the copshop to pick someone else up from getting a dwi. So on meeting him I’m like, dude, I have so many questions. First, what have you been spiking drinks with that has everyone talking about it. He’s all, for you to learn that secret you have.to let me enjoy the bar a bit but I’ll show you when I’m ready. Fuckin space cadet answer but I was like wrrrrrdski. Hour or two many shots later, I hear someone screaming my name from the middle of the dance floor. I look, make eye contact with Scumy Steve, as he sees me look, bouncers are rushing at him like they know whats about to happen. Before they got there, Scummy Steve serves up a full pint glass of vodka redbull like an Olympic volleyball serve, jumps up in the air and fucking spikes the glass accross the bar and smashing it into the back wall of the bar sending glass, ice and booze* errywhere. *assume it was booze and only ever saw the dude drinking bartons vodka and redbull. Even back then 2 cans of red bull cost more than a pint of cartons.
No relevance to the story, just shating college stories.
Fizz@lemmy.nz 1 month ago
haha Scummy Steve sounds like such a town menace.
dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 1 month ago
This is great, drag loves the way you tell stories
ladicius@lemmy.world 1 month ago
“You can keep your bed sheets clean by getting drunk and falling asleep in your clothes.”
P. J. O’Rourke wrote that in the 1980s. He has a whole book about bachelor housekeeping.
psycho_driver@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I feel like this is a Euphemism for many voters and the upcoming election.
tiramichu@lemm.ee 1 month ago
An allegory, perhaps.
Hupf@feddit.org 1 month ago
ICastFist@programming.dev 1 month ago
Some sort of metaphor
MNByChoice@midwest.social 1 month ago
Greentexts are fake, but this is funny!
nutsack@lemmy.world 1 month ago
tfw You’re a cat that can jerk off
Please_Do_Not@lemm.ee 1 month ago
“Realize fuck it, I can just ______, future me will have to clean it up” is technically true of literally anything that’s physically possible. Excellent way to justify doing something.
Honytawk@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
Not if that thing is shooting yourself in the head.
BennyInc@feddit.org 1 month ago
In that case not even future you had to clean it up.
FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I know it’s a joke and we are in the greentext community but still:
If you or anyone you know might be struggling, here is a place to start.
May it be helpful to someone.
ladicius@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Leaving the game does not change the rules of the game.
PunnyName@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Depends on if you live and have to clean up that mess.