Except for swans… which are giant geese. Those two are very durable.
At least one person has died from being attacked by a swan while kayaking.
Comment on how badly could a pelican fuck me up in a fight?
djsoren19@yiffit.net 1 week ago
I’m gonna let everyone in on a lil secret.
You can absolutely fuck up a bird. Their bones are hollow and light, making them super kickable. Even a 4" human still has multiple feet of height over most species of bird, meaning you can wind up a solid kick and still probably send whatever beaked menace is after you flying.
Now, defending yourself from a bird attack without harming the bird attacking you? Yeah that’s really hard, because most of your immediate reactions like trying to grab or restrain it will likely result in hurting the bird.
JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee 6 days ago
Dasus@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Realistically, if that person had no regard for the bird, they could’ve just grabbed it and strung it’s neck.
“Maybe he didn’t want to hurt the animal,” Hensley’s father-in-law, George Koutsogiannis, told the Sun-Times. “Maybe he didn’t fight back enough when the swan attacked him…I can’t understand how this was possible.”
A single swan can’t actually physically overpower a person, but people can panic and make bad choices, especially when in water and confronted with aggressively wildlife.
JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee 5 days ago
That’s why I specifically said ‘while kayaking’ but also I’ve cared for geese, roosters, and swans.
Ever been attacked by any of those animals? I have. Roosters are the worst. They have these sharp spikes on their legs that draw blood. I’ve kicked a rooster with everything i had because it was spurring me and going for my face. Itd didnt just die, thing kept coming at me. I kicked it several times without holding back and it just kept attacking. Took two people to catch it so i could get in my car. The rooster was fine. I was scratched to hell.
Thar rooster was small. Now imagine a goose or swan with the same attitude.
I’ve worked many farms and those birds don’t fuck around. If your so confident by all means fuck around with those birds and find out. I won’t stop you.
Dasus@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Geese and swan don’t have anything sharp, and I’m sure had you wanted to, you could’ve grabbed the cock by the neck and wrung it without it being able to actually kill you.
Annoying and perhaps even need medical attention for scratches? Yeah. KILL YOU?
Nah.
AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I also wouldn’t fuck with Turkeys. The wild ones are smart enough to actually try to get the hell away from you. The domestic ones are the stupidest fucking animals on the planet, and unlike sheep, they are MEAN. If they think they have a chance to take you, they’ll get the whole damn flock to dogpile you till you start throwing these 20-30 pound birds.
LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I had an incredibly aggressiveale duck that would come after me all the time. He was big, like 20lbs at least, and I’d kick him in the chest with the side ofy foot when he came at me all angry like. His chest was the meatiest part of him, so I wasn’t worried about damaging him with kinda wimpy kicks. Bastard became soup real quickly, though. Overly aggressive birds in my flock don’t get the privilege of being pets.
Ersatz86@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I too have a chicken-kicking story. Posting now so’s I’ll remember to write it out later.
tilefan@lemm.ee 1 week ago
did you know that one of the reasons their bones are hollow is because they assist the lungs with intaking oxygen to provide all the oxygen needed for flight? it’s not just weight saving
SolOrion@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
TIL, that’s really neat.
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 1 week ago
Now do Canada Goose.
djsoren19@yiffit.net 6 days ago
Canadian Geese are how I got this experience, I used to live in a town that they regularly migrated through and got into two scraps with them in my youth. They’re one of the few birds that I have zero sympathy fucking up, because both times they tried to attack me, I was just trying to quickly get through their territory with my lunch.
If you’re ever attacked by one, aim for center mass and give it as much force as you can. I’ve never had geese swarm me after seeing one of their comrades get obliterated.
dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 6 days ago
What about a horse sized duck?
Tyfud@lemmy.world 1 week ago
The image of a 4 inch tall human towering over a bird amuses me.
jiberish@lemmy.world 1 week ago
And where were they now The little people of Stonehenge And what would they say to us If we were here tonight