I am that old and this is patently false. Sharing a flat was a way to reduce expenses for my generation and generations before me. More common in urban areas. Also for women was often safer than living alone.
Comment on Rich people don't understand us at all.
Keilik@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I’m not that old and I can’t stress this enough, when I was a kid if you had a roommate it meant you were gay.
Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 6 days ago
skisnow@lemmy.ca 6 days ago
I could be wrong but I charitably suspect they were referring to the term “roommate” rather than the actual practice.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Yeah, and from my understanding there was an implication for people who had one after a certain age, that’s more related to the idea of “why aren’t you married yet”. There was definitely a suspicion when two 40 year olds have been roommates for 20 years and attend social and family events together, rather than two 28 year olds who met via an ad for a roommate in the newspaper a few years ago and are still trying to get ahead in the city.
Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Good to be charitable but they said not a joke later in this thread.
skisnow@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
oh well screw them then.
AviAdi@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I’m old but I’ve always been broke enough to understand this was a joke?
Keilik@lemmy.world 6 days ago
It really wasn’t though where I used to live, rent was cheap enough people legitimately wondered what was wrong with you if you had a roommate and weren’t in a minimum wage job.
Keilik@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Was not expecting this to be so unpopular but legitimately when I was growing up there were open mic nights and jazz clubs filled with musicians taking turns. People had weird exotic hobbies or fun cars they would drive on the weekend. There were artists and art galleries and little bookstores and microbreweries and hobby shops for anything you could imagine.
Now they have all closed, the jazz clubs bulldozed and paved over for parking lots, and no one does anything but work and be angry.
I remember a time growing up that people were paid enough to actually live and I refuse to let that die
tburkhol@slrpnk.net 6 days ago
Dude, you’re talking about 2010 like it’s ancient history, and I’ve got shirts that old. Everything you’re describing still exists, but I’m sorry if your town’s fun bar closed.
Keilik@lemmy.world 6 days ago
In 2010 things were already way too expensive, I’m talking like 2000-2005. I’m not saying that stuff doesn’t exist, I’m saying a lot more people used to be able to afford to do things.
tburkhol@slrpnk.net 6 days ago
In 2000, you were 7 years old and had no clue what anyone was paying for rent, much less how cool was open mic night at the local. Your parents could afford to do things and shielded you from what they cost. Or sitcom families could do things and you’re remembering Will & Grace.
I mean, yes: shit’s expensive today, but heterosexual people had roommates in 2000, in 1990, 1980, even in 1960. In 1980, it was scandalous to have a roommate of the opposite gender.
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 6 days ago
I know I work my ass off yet can’t afford to do much
Duranie@leminal.space 6 days ago
Where was this?
Keilik@lemmy.world 6 days ago
In the suburbs in the middle of NJ. There were enough good Union jobs that even without a degree you could make enough money to live pretty comfortably, and the only notable thing about the area was that you could get to NYC or Philadelphia in about an hour and a half or so by train
Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 6 days ago
LMAO was this influenced by people pushing back on the “just gals being pals” trope and being like, “No Gladys they are lovers it’s okay to say that”?
ricecake@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Like, yeah. Your great aunt Abigail who was always so bad with money that she and her best friend lived together in a one bedroom apartment for 45 years despite always taking vacations to Vermont and the third largest Greek island to celebrate their favorite poet was almost certainly gay. Maybe. There might be a clue.
But actual literal platonic roommates have existed for a long time. Like, it’s relatively recent that people started to practice living exclusively with romantic partners and family.
Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 5 days ago
Yeah, I was just curious about Keilik’s world view in particular and how it led to them having this perception. They explained in another response that in their experience people could afford to live alone so it appeared to be a choice to live together (and then assumed it was romantic versus for other benefits like to platonic companionship/safety etc.)
But actual literal platonic roommates have existed for a long time. Like, it’s relatively recent that people started to practice living exclusively with romantic partners and family.
My instinct is to think that housing practices depend so much on social and cultural norms so it seems like this needs some really specific context to be true but then I catch myself realizing I have no idea what you mean about recent so I am in fact a clown for jumping to conclusions about your meaning 😅
ricecake@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
To be clear, I was most echoing and agreeing with you, and I just had a sudden mental image of the world’s least subtle gal-pal-lesbian that I wanted to put out there.
And yeah, my “recent” is a pretty long horizon. It was in roughly the 1700s that we started to see people living less in arrangements that we would be willing to call “roommates” in the west. Largely driven by factors relating to industrialization making it so people who lived in proximity were less likely to work in proximity, and making it more feasible to sustain and manage redundant living situations. It was still common though, since the financial perks hit unevenly. Increasing urbanization pushed towards denser living, while doing more to move families into private housing. Hence the apartment with 40 steelworkers in bunk beds image, and the apartment next door with a pair of siblings, their spouses and children and maybe a grandparent.
This trend continues across a lot of cultures, although the specific arrangements vary. Industrialization being the turning point. Although the soviets had a more unique twist as a result of picking up entire rural communities and dropping them in low cost buildings. You get a lot of the communal living type arrangements we saw through history but stuck in an oddly modern setting, with maybe two unrelated families, a handful of singles and a few couples all sharing an apartment with one kitchen, a complicated bathroom and a bedroom breakdown roughly what we’d expect now.One way or another, people throughout history have tended to want to live near family, which included friends, liked having a roof, and usually didn’t bother building more cooking tools than they needed. The specific forms have changed, but the social nature of humans is pretty consistent.
DagwoodIII@piefed.social 6 days ago
People report facts here and get downvoted.
TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 6 days ago
Because they aren’t facts… Just because you weren’t aware of poor people existing before the present era doesn’t mean they didn’t exist.
What do you think tenement housing is, a gay housing project?
Earthwormjim91@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Because it’s not a fact lmao. The commenter is only 33. At no point in their life has having roommates meant you were gay. Maybe another 20+ years before them, and if you were a man in your 30s or older with a roommate. But that’s because the assumption is generally that if you’re living with someone in your 30s, 9 times out of 10 they’re your partner. Most people find a long-term partner by then that they live with.
1984@lemmy.today 6 days ago
Yes but downvotes counts down to the downvoters iq level. Sometimes they get a hundred but not often.
DagwoodIII@piefed.social 6 days ago
My way of dealing with comments is to take them at face value, unless it’s completely off the rails.
If people want to act shocked at the idea that homophobia actually exists, I can’t stop them.
SourDragon@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Translation: “Some humans have negative iq”
1984@lemmy.today 5 days ago
Some humans have a sense of humor too. :)
bandanawearingbanana@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I don’t get who is downvoting this and why. Bunch of homophones.
Yeah, shockingly some things were a lot better.
TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 6 days ago
Bunch of homophones.
I think you meant homophobes? Though that doesn’t really make any sense either…
The only time having a roommate implied you were gay is if you were an older person belonging to the gentry who chose to live with someone else if you didn’t need to.
It’s not like people were looking at tenement housing and saying, oh yeah “that’s the big building where we store all the gays”.
People have always had roommates, they just aren’t typically the class of people represented in fictional stories of the time.
smh@slrpnk.net 5 days ago
My college dorm was full gay couples. Some were even in thruples!
wetsoggybread@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Damn how old are you. My coworker is in his 60s and talks about how rent was too high so he had to lease an apartment with roommates in NYC in the 80s
Keilik@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Cities are expensive, who would have guessed. I’m 33 and rent was $5-800 where I grew up, it’s now up to $2750-3750 for 1-2 bedroom apartments.
4am@lemmy.zip 6 days ago
Wow dude, that’s the gayest shit I’ve heard all day 🙄
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Fun fact before Julius Caesar froze the rent in Rome for a year, it was actually getting to the point of abject absurdity to the point folks were splitting rent 4 ways minimum in some neighborhoods. Must’ve been able to smell the gayness apon stepping foot into that city, maybe that’s why Caesar crossed the Rubicon he wanted to get rid of the smell.
Gladaed@feddit.org 6 days ago
That’s a lot to pay for rent, but I guess US rent just hits different.
Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 6 days ago
LMAO was this influenced by people pushing back on the “just gals being pals” trope and being like, “No Gladys they are lovers it’s okay to say that”?