Comment on Anon likes a woman

ByteJunk@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

• FireRetardant@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Thats not a problem with “liking someone back.” I think the post would have read along the lines of " i hate when someone isn’t who they seem to be" in your scenario.

  source

  • ByteJunk@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Perhaps, that’s a good point. It is a green text though, and my bet is that the pic is unrelated.

    source

    • sheepishly@fedia.io ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It literally says "pic related" in the greentext itself what more do you want

      source
• 87Six@lemmy.zip ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I don’t really think it’s that simple.

  I think it’s about that weird thing people (not women) do that makes them attracted to strangers but not friends. I find it mentioned everywhere, both online and offline.

  I think that’s what anon is experiencing too.

  I really don’t understand why people just lose all attraction as soon as mysteriousness is no longer a factor. And I’ve seen it happen with my own damn eyes, to me AND others.

  I don’t get it.

  It’s as if as soon as I become readily available to anyone, I suddenly become much more worthless and disposable too… Suddenly every other aspect of theif life takes priority and I’m number last. I guess because other things are only available conditionally whereas I’m pretty much always available? Idk.

  Also if I’m not interested in someone, that someone always wants to interact. It’s as if life constantly works to spite me.

  source

  • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    they lose attraction because they were never attracted to the person. they are attracted to the fantasy of the person.

    and once you become too ‘real’ you destroy the fantasy and they have no more interest.

    Why do you think romance books are SO HOT right now? because they are pure fantasy and lots of ladies want nothing but a fantasy romance and they are addicted to daydreaming, and they compare the real world romance to and it and angry it doesn’t ‘live up’ to the storybooks they read.

    it’s like if a a guy was very angry and mad that he didn’t have superpowers after watching a bunch of Marvel movies or comic books… it’s absurd… but you if you tell women that they will just claim you are a misogynist.

    source

    • ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Why do you think romance books are SO HOT right now? because they are pure fantasy and lots of ladies want nothing but a fantasy romance and they are addicted to daydreaming, and they compare the real world romance to and it and angry it doesn’t ‘live up’ to the storybooks they read.

      The irony is that a bunch of boys got into incel culture because a lot of the media they consumed had women as a prize or “side effect” of being the hero or a “good guy”, but got blindsided by real life not giving them any.

      source

      • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I don’t think that’s ironic, it just happens to both genders because it’s a “people” thing, not a gender thing.

        People will say “men do this” or “women do this” depending on context, but really a lot of that could go either way.

        It’s seen as misogynistic when people talk about women doing it, but when they talk about men doing that just seems all very well.

        Why can’t we just say humans are flawed beings and leave it at that? There’s a lot of ways the media influences our perceptions, and not all of them good. Especially when it comes to gender dynamics.

        I mean, just watch any rom-com from before 2010. Half of the stuff you see in them would be a Title IX violation on any college campus these days.

        source
    • FireRetardant@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Also in my experience, a lot of women don’t like to openly express consent in spoken communication. If im in a situation where i think we should kiss, ill ask the first time and they’ll often say yes, and later confess to me that asking kinda killed the mood for them. Like sorry but consent is important and I’m not one to bank on my autisitc ass misreading subtle body language.

      source

      • Banana@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yeah that’s something I think women are slowly learning how to rewire their brains around because, just like how popular culture shaped how men approached women, the same popular culture (and internalized misogyny) taught women that asking for consent is not sexy.

        This appears to be changing from what I’ve read in various comments on audio porn geared towards women and also just from conversation with other women. I totally used to think asking for consent “ruined the mood”, and now with more knowledge I think there are many ways to ask for consent in a sexy way.

        My favourite is to play a slight d/s game and make someone tell me what they want using their words (i also like it used on me). It’s a bit of a tease but people like it. And you get enthusiastic consent (I consider begging to be pretty enthusiastic).

        I think these women who are saying it ruined the mood have some shit to work through, because you should be encouraged to ask for consent.

        source
      • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        yep. same experience, it’s very much a ‘don’t do as I say’ type of thing.

        I see a lot of people online talking about this mythical woman who asks for consent, swaps std tests, uses condoms religiously, and and finds it ‘sexy’ but I have never ever encountered such a person in real life.

        Who I do meet, is women who hate consent, hate condoms, and if you asked them for an std test they’d tell you to fuck yourself. And then I see them go on social media and post about this stuff like it’s gospel.

        It’s almost as if what people say they want and what they actually do in real life is completely different.

        I notice the same thing with ‘emotional intelligence’ trend going on lately. Everyone claims they are high EQ and demand a high EQ partner… and these are the same folks who throw a passive aggressive temper tantrums at you if you don’t reach for the check fast enough at the end of the date. It’s so insane who hypocritical it all is at the end of the day.

        And the drippiest by far, since I am a straightforward and honest person, is getting told that being honest and straightforward is ‘manipulative’ or it’s a ‘strategy’ or something, because the concept of that is completely non-existent to them. They basically can’t ever be honest, so they think nobody else ever could be and I’ve had people straight up accusing me of lying when I’m telling the truth about like my intentions and desires in dating… like i say ‘i want kids’ and they hear ‘i am trying to manipulate you’.

        source

        • -> View More Comments
  • ReluctantMuskrat@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Getting to know people better can change your feelings about them… sometimes it makes them more attractive and sometimes less. I don’t know if anyone has found me less attractive after getting to know me but I’ve certainly had that happen with girls I’ve been attracted to.

    If it’s a common experience for you it’s probably worth exploring whether or not it’s a you problem, and if so if it’s something you can and should correct. There’s no shortage of crappy, shallow people so maybe not but being introspective and honest with yourself is always good foe you.

    source

    • 87Six@lemmy.zip ⁨27⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      worth exploring whether or not it’s a you problem

      idk, I am pretty weird, and not in a good “quirky” way…

      source
    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      people also lie. they lie about who they are and they are often very different in private than how they are in public.

      source
    • FireRetardant@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I usually need to get to know someone before they are attractive. I describe it as me being greedy, i want the full package not just one that looks nice.

      source

      • 87Six@lemmy.zip ⁨26⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

        I had to live 1/3rd of the time for 2 years with someone to realize I liked them myself, so yea, same

        source
      • Banana@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I don’t think that’s greedy, I think that’s pretty normal.

        I need to see how a person interacts in conversation to be attracted to them, as i am far more attracted to mannerisms and values than looks. A cute face is great, I couldn’t care much about body as long as a person is relatively healthy (this is a very broad range for me).

        source
      • ReluctantMuskrat@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Strange that someone down-voted you for this.

        source
• Apytele@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Nah I was raised female and legit had friends like this some women (as with men) just never grow up. On a very tangentially related note I’ve been reflecting recently on the very primal attractiveness of a man who is visibly strong and horny enough to fuck me up but who is also visibly restraining themselves. The testosterone + self control combo is just an immediate vagina geyser.

  source

  • ByteJunk@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    There’s all kinds of people out there, that’s for sure. Some women (and men) do like the bulky, rough on the edges but overall caring type, but some don’t appreciate that virility and attention from a partner and prefer a more candid approach, others are almost self-destructive and inevitably go for guys that I wouldn’t give the time of day, to each their own.

    My point is mostly that there’re a lot of reasons people don’t click, there’s nothing wrong with that.

    source
  • FireRetardant@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    How can you tell he’s horny? Is he rocking a hard on all day?

    source

    • atomicorange@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Ideally

      source
• rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Yeah, the whole situation is too vague to read for certain, even if it really happened.

  I do find it more likely that this was a “Never meet your crushes” than an “OMG wtf would they like me” just out of the blue.

  source

  • FireRetardant@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Why should i never meet my crushes? Should i just chase people i feel neutral about instead? A good crush inspires me to be romantic, carefully plan dates, and even take better care of myself, which is a nice cycle cause some of those things boost my confidence anyway even if the crush doesn’t feel the same way.

    source

    • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It’s not literal, it’s a play on never meet your heroes. The core concept is that you project the best of your internal morals and values onto them, and then when you meet them, you find out they’re not as nice, loving, caring, or compassionate as you expected.

      source

      • FireRetardant@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I guess thats where i got lost. I usually need to get to know someone a bit for a crush to develop.

        source