Comment on Let delivery drivers keep their

ryedaft@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• Deceptichum@quokk.au ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  It doesn’t bother me one bit if people want to use a word to mean something different to them. It changes nothing in my relationships what they do or say.

  What I do hate is your complaining about a group of people based on their sexuality. Seems so bitter.

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  • carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “heteronormative” doesn’t mean “it’s the fault of straight people” are you serious

    if you don’t know a word, you can just look it up yknow

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    • Deceptichum@quokk.au ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You're the only person here saying that.

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      • carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        and you’re the only one claiming ryedaft was “complaining about an entire group of people based on sexuality”

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    • papertowels@mander.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      “heteronormative” doesn’t mean “it’s the fault of straight people” are you serious

      But does “heteronormative bullshit” imply that?

      What if they’d said “I’m tired of this homosexual bullshit that glitter goes everywhere?”

      That definitely reads as “I believe it’s the fault of the queer people” to me, do you believe otherwise?

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      • LwL@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Heteronormative != heterosexual

        I fail to see any issue with the post (like fucking everyone associates topping with dom that doesn’t mean it has to be, and the image works), but it’s decidedly a complaint about social norms rather than a group.

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  • ryedaft@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s heteronormative if you equate topping with being dominant.

    Dancing is typically heteronormative because there’s a standard (that’s enforced for competitive dancing) that the man leads and the woman follows. And you can absolutely follow this as a same sex couple by assigning femme and butch roles and having the femme follow and the butch lead. But you can also switch it up, even while dancing.

    When someone talks about heteronorms it’s not about straight people. Of course toxic masculinity and ditto femininity is sad but the goal is not to reproduce that for queers, not too change what the straights are up to.

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    • brognak@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s not heteronormative oh person with a hammer. You simply lack perspective, as yours seems entirely based on sex and literally none from kink.

      Doming and Topping are two different things in the kink world, and imply similar yet drastically different things and are very deliminaited in play.

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• sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Wait, can you not be a hetero top or a hetero dom?

  I… don’t see how it is heteronormative to use an image that evokes sexual acts… to… imply a sexual interpretation of a typo.

  Its… just a way to use a more SFW, recognizable meme.

  Like, they could have used … whats her name, Anhka, from that Animal Crossing porn anim that went viral a few years back, very obviously topping someone… but that would have been a lot more explicit.

  Lois is also like, in the act of suiting up, with a non plussed, unenthusiastic expression, implying that … there is a job-like aspect to this, yet another dumb charade/performance demanded by society to keep participating in it.

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  • ryedaft@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Give her a strap on and it’s fine

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    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      So your stance actually is that a woman in a dominatrix suit is always propogating heteronormativity… unless she’s wearing a strapon… while could be construed as being used for penetrating either a man or a woman or anyone else.

      So in your mind, BDSM is heteronormative unless it explicity is made clear that it is not.

      That would mean that in your mind, pegging is not heteronormative, even if it is going on between a heterosexual couple… even though a man being pegged very, very much goes against the general social view of how sex between a man and a woman works or should work.

      … You have a very different understanding of what heteromormativity is and means than I do.

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      • JandroDelSol@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I think the heteronormativity comes from the idea that men are always the ones both doing the penetrating and taking charge in the bedroom lol

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• wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Education would be more effective than complaining.

  As a straight, isn’t all this is missing for “topping” a strap-on? As in the “top” is usually doing the penetrating?

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  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Its actually somewhat confusing.

    Sometimes, to some people… topping just means you are literally, physically on top of them.

    Sometimes, it means you are doing the physical penetrating.

    Sometimes, top/bottom are the same as dom/sub… to mean authoritative vs submissive…

    But you have terms like power bottom, and service top.

    A power bottom is physically underneath the partner, but doing almost all the work, and is often also in the authority position.

    A service top is physically on top, and/or doing most of the strenuous/penetrative physical work… but they are actually submissive, subervient to the other partner, who is authoritatively directing all their actions.

    The vocab for all this is still quite varied and usually only standardizes fully amongst geographically constrained areas, as you would expect with what is basically a set of slang terms.

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    • Landless2029@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Excellent answer.

      I’d argue that the outfit in the meme is generally considered a Dom outfit which is what triggers the start of this thread.

      Although inaccurate it makes the point for the joke. A TOP image would be much more vulgar and hard to find a clean image for.

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      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Exactly.

        You can get away with a … relatively low nudity depiction of a person in a bondage suit.

        This also just generally conveys ‘sexually curious / active.’

        Whereas an actual, more literal depiction of topping someone would essentially by definition be so explicit as to be so blunt that … it isn’t as humorous, because your brain doesn’t have to do any work to ‘get’ the joke.

        Not to mention it would probably be censored, and thus far less people would see it.

        I dunno, maybe someone can, or has come up with a … ‘help me step-bro, I’m stuck in the washing machine!’ … type of image.

        Maybe a cowboy or cowgirl riding a bucking horse … would be sufficiently understandable visual metaphor?

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• shiftymccool@programming.dev ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Then, there’s most of the rest of the world where neither of those words mean anything, heteronormative or otherwise. I guess have heard of topping pot plants, though…

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  • ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I literally heard about some cheerleader being a top today and it made me chuckle.

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• Zenith@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Synonyms are so hetero

  lol wtf

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  • JandroDelSol@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Topping is the act of being the one penetrating their partner, dominating is taking control. They aren’t necessarily the same thing

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• PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I agree except for the heteronormative part. What does the confusion of these terms have to do with heteronormativity?

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