I think the difference is that this isn’t catcalling. If women’s compliments towards men were the same as men’s compliments towards women, I think men would also dislike it. Don’t get me wrong, I recognize that men don’t get compliments often, and often they stick with them, but generally those are complements and not catcalls.
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sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz 5 days ago
It’s such a dichotomy. Women get catcalled every day and feel uncomfortable and harassed. Understandable. The average man gets catcalled a handful of times in his life and cherishes those moments almost as much as their children’s births.
MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com 5 days ago
damnedfurry@lemmy.world 5 days ago
If women’s compliments towards men were the same as men’s compliments towards women, I think men would also dislike it.
Nah.
Every time I’ve ever heard of an experiment where indignant women do/say to men the exact same things that they hate getting from men, they’re always astonished to see the men’s reactions as practically universally positive:
If the goal of the experiment was to make men feel the weird combination of creeped-out and ashamed that comes with everyday objectification, then the experiment failed. Instead, these fellas look flattered and expectant. You can practically see them plotting the nearest route to the cheapest hotel.
grue@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I hate to say it, but I think that might be one of those differences that actually is inherent due to biology. Ultimately, women can only benefit reproductively from one partner at a time, whereas men can benefit reproductively from as many as will have them. Therefore, women are only interested in compliments from a prospective partner they might actually choose, while men are happy to receive any expression of interest.
MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com 5 days ago
I appreciate your take, but that’s not really the case. Women are open and receptive to compliments. Even from strangers, but the tone and context matter more since women have been socialized to fear unknown, especially aggressive men. Someone yelling their feelings about your body at you does not generally signal someone is a safe person. Here’s my response to the above comment: reddthat.com/comment/17768408
It has a link to women being politely catcalled and they seem ok with that. I know that I have personally received compliments from men that I was not interested in or with whom there was no real possibility of connection, and that’s been fine. Generally the problem is tone and context.
jballs@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Lol
“I want to destroy your dick,” SJ Son whispers into the ear of an unknown man as she walks by.
Yeah 99% of dudes I know would be ecstatic to hear a woman whisper that to them on the street.
DontMakeMoreBabies@lemm.ee 5 days ago
I’d just be so fucking confused.
MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com 5 days ago
Forgive me if I don’t think two comedians making a skit counts as a study. The camera is clearly visible and the women don’t seem to be credible at all and are clearly playing it for laughs. Often, catcalling happens to women who are alone and by men who could physically overpower them with no sense of it being funny or a joke. I mean, it’s kinda gross that they did this regardless, but I don’t really see it as a one to one. It’s hard to explain the feeling of concern that women are raised to have when it comes to being targeted by men, and it would be hard to put a man in a situation that mimicked that considering they have not been bombarded by stories of women stalking/raping/murdering men who they only saw in passing. Here’s women being “politely catcalled”: youtube.com/shorts/LNxf74FXyAs
Again, played for laughs with a visible camera and similar reactions from women as the men in your video.
The guys doing catcalling get upset when called out and admit they wouldn’t want it to happen to their family: youtu.be/jDoVckC6NhA
Do I think men don’t get as many compliments? Yes. But men can solve that themselves. Give each other compliments. youtube.com/shorts/aWLr03PJiuA
If these guys were catcalled by each other I have a feeling they wouldn’t like it.
Soulg@ani.social 5 days ago
Man that article was insufferable to read lol
Chev@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Catcalling ≠ Complimenting
Catcalling is about letting the other know, that you want to fuck or harass them.
Complimenting is about verbalising beauty without any other expectations towards the other person.
mosiacmango@lemm.ee 5 days ago
There is an old idiom that goes “everything about sex except sex. That’s about power.”
Catcalling is about expressing power over someone else bodt and life. It’s a veiled threat, coached in sexual terms. No one doing it actually expects to have sex afterwards. Its about sayihg “i can force sex on you. I can take control of you.”
A lot of the men engaging in it above are doing it because of peer pressure, normalized misogyny and the “thrill” of getting an acknowledgement of that power by scaring women. I dont think most of them want to attack women outright to begin with, but it normalizes mixing sex with violence and dehumanizing woman.
SnortsGarlicPowder@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
Eh being 14 and an adult woman shouting out of a cat at me to get my cock out I feel is about as gross and threatening as it would be if the genders were reversed.
refurbishedrefurbisher@lemmy.sdf.org 4 days ago
Kind of gross and threatening even as an adult TBH.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 days ago
As someone who’s been catcalled many many times while presenting female and once while presenting male (by women). Yeah tbh it felt similarly threatening. When you’re walking alone in the dark all big burly and bearded and just hear a voice calling out sexualizing you it’s scary. Like in retrospect now I can recognize that it was probably a drunk/high/low inhibitioned young woman displaying the confidence of youth when surrounded by friends. But I was scared because if she’s comfortable doing this she probably knows something I don’t if she chooses to escalate.
GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today 5 days ago
When you’re walking alone in the dark all big burly and bearded and just hear a voice calling out sexualizing you it’s scary
The fear is from the group dynamics more than anything else. Gender almost plays no part in it. Age plays almost no part in it. There are several stories about a group of teens attacking a lone adult, and it goes just about as you’d expect. Anyone who is alone and suddenly becomes the focus of attention by a group will (and probably should) become worried, whereas if you’re in a group the (that is, your) reaction can be anything from ignoring to playing along because you have less to fear. All of us can imagine the difference between walking in a group or by yourself when getting catcalled. Most of us have probably seen the difference.
drascus@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
My god if I could just get one compliment I could die happy.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
I like your username, and you have great taste in Lemmy instances.
TheBat@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Live long you absolute potato
Owlboi@lemm.ee 5 days ago
women get so much attention its like theyre drowning. men get so little its like theyre starving in the desert.
truly ironic
SuperDuperKool@lemmy.cafe 5 days ago
Maybe you do you creep
Mac@mander.xyz 5 days ago
Women drown in the ocean whereas men die of thirst in the desert.
This is obviously an overgeneralization, but it matches the experience of many.
BastingChemina@slrpnk.net 5 days ago
I heard a similar analogy, men are in a desert, women in a swamp. In both cases they struggle to find drinkable water.
Mac@mander.xyz 4 days ago
Oh that’s good. It highlights the quality of available water.