Fr, she wasn’t going to no 5k. She had other plans.
Comment on Anon signs up for a 5k
McLoud@lemm.ee 5 weeks ago
She was planning on having 5 km of cock run on her, now her plans are ruined.
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
superduperpirate@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Because I’m procrastinating at work:
How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?
Estimates:
- average erect length: 13 cm (from Perplexity.ai)
- average number of thrusts in coitus: 300 (ibid)
Calculations
- thrust distance per coitus session: 13 cm x 300 thrusts x 2 (accounting for insertion & removal) = 78 m
- coitus sessions to accumulate 5 km of thrusts: 5 km / 78 m = 64.1 -> 64 sessions of coitus
So OP’s wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, that’s still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.
discostjohn@programming.dev 5 weeks ago
My favorite part of sex is taking my average sized penis all the way out and putting it back in approximately 300 times
CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works 5 weeks ago
same
LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Sir I think you are forgetting that you do not pull the pens completely out with every thrust unless you want to snap it off by accident. I think a 1.25 multiplier to your calculation is therefore necessary.
superduperpirate@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
That’s a fair assumption to make. So our totally real OPs wife now has to make 80 fucks at minimum instead of 64
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
The all new penis 2.0 now with hotswap capabilities.
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
He wanted that for both of them.
Agent641@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
He signed both of them up for it
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 weeks ago
And he was willing to be at the back. Everyone knows the middle is the best.
kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 weeks ago
Anon is jealous
ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
This is almost exactly how I found out my ex-wife was cheating. She bought a ticket to a concert and then freaked out when I bought one too. Why wouldn’t I want to go to a concert with my wife? She said it was just going to be a thing with her friends from work. When we arrived there was exactly one friend from work. A guy friend.
droporain@lemmynsfw.com 5 weeks ago
Ouch he was too dumb to have “something come up and cancel too.” Your better off I suppose.
ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 5 weeks ago
He was very honest and upfront with me about how he was in love with my wife and wanted to be with her. Props to him, I guess. I’m definitely better off! My ex was incredibly demanding and controlling. Sometimes I think I’d thank the guy if I ever saw him again!
superduperpirate@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
I hope you didn’t have a kid or shared property with the ex
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
It’s kinda funny how cheaters don’t realize that their affair partners that know about their main relationship can easily sabotage it by just being open and honest. They can force the cheater’s hand at any time and in many cases even remove the other option.
If any affair partners that want a relationship are reading this, discretely inform their partner of what’s going on. You’ll either get what you want or the cheater will be forced to reveal that they don’t actually intend to leave their partner for you and are just leading you on. Their partner finds out what a snake they are with, too, so it’s a win for everyone other than the cheater, though even they might feel better once the dust has settled and they don’t need to hide their activities–until the next one, at least.