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Senior Citizen Sex

⁨467⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨balderdash9@lemmy.zip⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/cc13c962-7c28-4433-9261-49ee1913f9ce.webp

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Comments

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  • AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Never tried heroin.

    If, by some unfortunate circumstance, I survive to 70, I am doing ALL the heroin!

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    • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You are not accounting for your changing appetite and priorities though. Willing to bet heroine sounds much less appealing then than now. Maybe stop holding back so much and just do a little heroin now?

      Also, check out the 99PI podcast on the Model Village - it might give you some hope for better options, but I’m not too excited as our species and especially my country are pretty good bout fucking these kinda things up.

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      • RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Do a little heroin now, as a treat!

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    • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      70? People these days are still in good shape at 70, I don’t know what age you are but by the time you reach 70 you’ll probably be today’s 60 years old! I don’t think we’ve got that many users on here that are over 60!

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      • Duranie@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I work in hospice and have seen patients (and family members) 90+ who I could have mistaken for late 60s - early 70s. I also recently met a patient’s wife who was 20 years younger than him, but was in worse shape and looked his age (82) if not older. Genetics and life experience are wild.

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      • knacht1@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I’m here! (65)

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    • Spaghetti_Hitchens@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I believe that everyone should smoke, drink, and enjoy the occasional hard drug- just start when you're 75 or 80. Fucking party on the way out.

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      • herr@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Spoken like a true 20 year old who has no concept of what health at 75 does to you. The alcohol hangovers will last multiple days, you might have a lung condition that prevents any smoking, your circulation will massively shit the bed off any stimulants (think racing heart, cold sweats, anxiety, feeling weak) and opioids… well, opioids might be mostly okay except for the constipation I guess.

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      • AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        What it gonna do, kill you?

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    • TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Hi, I treat people with SUDs and many of them are in their 60s, some older. Nothing ruins lives like heroin. Nothing. People just want to enjoy their final years with family but addiction rips them away. People lose limbs to heroin. People lose minds.

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      • AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Of all the things to get clean for, your own funeral.

        Humans are odd.

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    • Smokeydope@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Forget heroin do a heroic dose of shrooms

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      • Ragdoll_X@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Try some Datura seeds

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    • CADmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I agree wholeheartedly. My wife and kid have a standing order that should I get dementia, I am to be left in the woods very far from civilization. And just to make that less likely, On my 70th birthday I will be buying the fastest available motorcycle. And no helmet. Which theoretically should have me reduced to a wet smear on the pavement in short order.

      The worst thing I can think of is for me to be a burden on my loved ones.

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    • GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      If this was a religion, I’d be asking for the collection plate.

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  • RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I could have gone my whole life without seeing a Kermit Goatsee

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    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I guess. If you can even call that a life

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      • Ragdoll_X@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Are you really even living if you’ve never smashed that kermussy?

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  • sneezymrmilo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    My God this post is vile 🤣

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    • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Grandma deserves a healthy and natural double fisting too

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      • NoSpiritAnimal@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        This took a turn sharper than grans lower intestine

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    • Shapillon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Why though?

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      • Whisper06@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Old people sex.

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  • Copythis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Seriously.

    I have to go into nursing homes all the time. The ladies at them are the thirstiest women I’ve ever met.

    …but ya know, a hole is a hole 🤷

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    • TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I ain’t into old ladies but a Werther’s original is a Werther’s original.

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      • Copythis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        That’s where they get practice 😉

        And don’t get me started on when they remove the dentures!

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    • Deiv@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      ಠ_ಠ

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    • ShitOnABrick@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      If there’s a hole there’s a goal

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      • Mr_Blott@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        A pensioner’s vag is like a pork pie. You have to break through the crust and the jelly to get to the meat

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    • banneryear1868@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I used to do the same, and yea they do be getting down all the time. Definitely interrupted a few lemon parties.

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  • OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Just curious here, but why did you guys see the title “Senior Citizen Sex” and still decide to click the link?

    On second though, I don’t want to know.

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    • Shapillon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Because a lot of people find older folks having sex really icky. And it’s such a deeply ingrained and weird take.

      So I’m here to dispute it.

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    • Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      They are all members of the Lemon Party.

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    • anarchy79@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I have spent my waking life on the Internet since 2400 baud modems. Christ, Lemonparty made the rounds since 2002. Nothing fazes me.

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      • steakmeout@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Can’t have a Lemonparty without Old Dick!

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  • db2@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I think you might have some issues, op.

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    • Endorkend@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Not really.

      Look up some STD transmission stats for retirement communities. It's a real issue.

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      • starbreaker@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        The real issue is the absolutely pathetic state of sex ed in the US. A lot of these people probably grew up thinking that "safe sex" meant doing it when she isn't ovulating and somehow never learned any better despite living through the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s.

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    • starbreaker@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      OP's not wrong, though. Inmates of boomer gulags are old, not dead. They're gonna fuck unless you keep 'em in solitary confinement 24/7.

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      • A_Toasty_Strudel@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        And MAN do they be fuckin’.

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    • balderdash9@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      At least my fair share lol

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  • TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Excuse me?

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    • Mr_Blott@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      My granddad once said to me, “It’s really humid today”

      To which I replied “Aye tell me something I don’t know!”

      He said, “Err…ok. I can fit my whole fist up your gran’s arse”

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  • ricdeh@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Please elaborate.

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    • CADmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      My better half works in a nursing home. The one she works in now is more “independent”, she used to work in a nursing home that also had a “memory care” (Alzheimer’s/dementia) wing.

      She explains that the sex is rampant. Her favorite story was about a couple who would sneak into a supply closet to do the sweaty, wrinkly deed. But they weren’t as sneaky as they thought, because they would park their walkers outside the closet.

      What happens sometimes, is you have these elderly people, who have lost someone they have been married to for decades. And they’re lonely, but they are surrounded by other people around their age who have also lost someone who was in their lives for decades.

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      • DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Plus they don’t have anything else to do.

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  • dipshit@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Grannie can get it

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  • PeePantsMcgee@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I just sent this to my mother-in-law AND father-in-law

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  • banneryear1868@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Used to deliver medication to an air force vet at a nice retirement residence, would knock on the door and hear a woman go “teehee just a minute” and there’d be like two ladies on the couch in his living room space. Guy was living the dream lol

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  • recapitated@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Downloaded and scheduled text to my child for 35 years from now.

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  • pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s actually mostly hand stuff.

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  • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    As someone in their 40s with a teenager, I’m looking forward to my 50s when it’s possible I might get to have sex again. Because they don’t have a bedtime.

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  • looseanus@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    deek.chat

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