Some days I open Instagram and it feels like everyone is winning except me.
New job. New car. New trip. Someone’s “6 months of consistency” post. Someone else casually mentioning their salary hike like it’s nothing.
And for a few minutes, I genuinely feel like I’m falling behind in some race everyone else is running faster than me.
I’ll be honest, sometimes it’s not just comparison, it’s jealousy. Real, uncomfortable jealousy. The kind you don’t want to admit out loud because it feels petty, but it’s there.
Then I remind myself of a few things.
Nobody posts their bad days. The rejection emails, the loans, the burnout, the fights, the doubt at 2am, none of that makes it to the feed. What we’re comparing ourselves to is a highlight reel, not a full life.
Everyone’s timeline is different. Someone’s “success” at 22 might be someone else’s struggle at 22, and that’s fine. Racing against a timeline that isn’t yours is a losing game by definition.
The feeling is normal, but it’s not information. Jealousy tells you something matters to you, it doesn’t tell you that you’re behind. It just means you want something. That’s worth noticing, not spiraling over.
I don’t have this fully figured out. I still catch myself comparing sometimes. But I’m trying to remind myself that a feed is not a scoreboard, and I’m not actually competing with strangers online.
If you’ve ever felt this way, how do you deal with it? Genuinely asking, not just venting.???
Weirdfish@lemmy.world 41 minutes ago
For perspective, me at 22. Kicked out of the military, recently divorced, and living on a couch in my parents basement.
By any measure, I was WAY behind anyone else I knew.
Now, at 50, I have a job I truly love, a nice apartment with just me and the cat. Have a couple motorcycles, game consoles, and my time is my own.
I’m not rich, but I make more than I spend in a given month, have enough savings that I’m not living paycheck to paycheck, and an emergency expense won’t ruin me.
It took a long time to figure out what happiness looked like for me, and to stop judging my life by those around me.
Sure, my siblings are more “successful”, but I can’t say they seem happier than I am.
I don’t use any social media aside from Lemmy, I don’t follow anyone, and experience people the old fashioned way, in person or through phone calls.
Look around your life and see the things you do have. Not to post, just for you to recognize.
Think about what it is that makes you happy, both day to day, and in say a five year plan. Make a goal, make it achievable, and then do it. Just for you.
Go see a live show, buy yourself a present, take a short trip to see a place you’ve never been, invest in a new hobby, take up a musical instrument.
And for fuck sake stay away from AI chats and social media!