Submitted 2 days ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to memes@sopuli.xyz
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/7774605f-f86b-437d-87ba-030bb1aeac63.jpeg
That amount of people I want to cheat on is zero.
There was a thread about cheating the other day and someone posted that they think cheating is… How did they put it… binary? Like there are social groups where everyone cheats and its normal, and then there are non overlapping groups where no one cheats.
Ah, I found it: lemm.ee/comment/20529741
I don’t think I know anyone who cheats in relationships.
There are people who agree not to be monogamous, but as it’s within the relationship contract, so to speak, it remains a relationship. I don’t personally understand it, but I don’t have to. We have two couples who are friends, via history, married right out of high school, who’ve lived like this for decades. It works for them because they’re honest and open about it, and it’s mutually agreed upon.
Any deviation from the honest, open, discussed, and mutually agreed upon, and you’re little more than a destructive asshole.
One is cheating and the other is not.
I always viewed relationships as a matter of trust. The difficult part of being cheated on isn’t knowing another dick has been in that pussy or another pussy has been around that dick. In most cases that has happened before you ever got together. The difficult part is the doubts. “is she really staying late for work?” “is he helping a friend move or moving her organs around?” “is she not responding because she’s busy or because she is fucking” those questions are what’s hard. Then “well if they lied about that what else are they lying about?”
It’s all about trust. Once you cheat you break that trust. I even told my partner if she was honest about it, it wouldn’t be a big deal. If she lied then she is dead to me forever.
I’d voluntarily be subjected to endless physical and mental torture before I ever even considered betraying my wife’s trust. I’d literally rather die.
Cheating is unforgivable. It happened to me when I was in my 20s.
I don’t understand open relationships, but in that scenario, there’s trust and agreement.
The men who throw out this biological, primate imperative argument without that relationship contract are just jerks. Breakers of people and trust.
There was also this comment
Monogamy is socially imposed, not a biological prerogative. Therefore yes, cheating is common because social norms can only do so much to override basic human nature.
The natural human relation is a long term partnership without sexual exclusivity, which is common in other primates as well. This is why people cheat but still want to stay with their partners.
That was heavily downvoted but that I personally agreed. We live in a society were monogamous exclusive relationships are the norm, so is difficult to think it could not be.
You can do non-monogamy without cheating. I know many people who do so.
I’ve been part of groups with cheaters and non-cheaters, so I don’t think the rule is definite. However the two do seem to slowly separate automatically (presumably due to people who don’t cheat eventually getting annoyed by the people who do’s commentary on how badly they want to fuck everyone).
Also worth keeping in mind that everyone who cheats started off as a non-cheater, it just seems to be a one way ticket.
inserts anal beads
I am Grandmaster Hans Niemann, prepare for your defeat.
cheeks vibrates
(You’ll never catch me)
she caught me cheating in her dreams
Just apologize and do something nice for her in your dreams.
Then you get crazy people who make shit up, out of nowhere, that you’ve been cheating. Even when you did not. Like my ex-fiancée - goddammit it was one of the many reasons I broke up with her.
Projection?
Dunno, but I don’t think so. Otherwise when we broke up she would throw it on my face.
But isn’t that also kind of cheating in a way?
Yeah, that’s just the cheat code to the easy way.
Spoils the whole game… ;-)
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 2 days ago
Life hack. Be upfront in all your relationships, so you can devote all your mental and emotional energies to just being yourself. No web of lies. No managing personas. Just being yourself every moment of your life.
zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 2 days ago
This is either about authenticity or moving out to the middle of the woods after cutting all ties because “Paul doesn’t get my edgy sense of humor.”
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 2 days ago
Being yourself doesn’t mean disregarding the knowledge of others. You can still try to grow and learn and try and be a better person.
So the former I guess lol
pemptago@lemmy.ml 2 days ago
Reminds me of the quote “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything”