This will never run, it only targets poor males!
./s
This is a JOKE. Its NOT real. But how about a law that forbids masturbation
Submitted 3 months ago by Mickey7@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/209c4ad6-d75e-446d-bcfe-2adc3a3c638e.png
Comments
Valmond@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Akasazh@feddit.nl 3 months ago
'every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, good gets quite irate ’
Mickey7@lemmy.world 3 months ago
I know you meant god and not good and I agree with you
Akasazh@feddit.nl 3 months ago
Thanks for the forgiveness Mickey. Fixed it!
shneancy@lemmy.world 3 months ago
ah yes, the law that prohibits sneezing without the intent to copulate. very well thought out, so clearly worded, very sane, truly makes me feel like we’re in the 21st century
HK65@sopuli.xyz 3 months ago
You are also prohibited from shedding skin cells without the intent to copulate.
This is just a permanent horny law by breeding fetishists.
abbadon420@lemm.ee 3 months ago
I’d believe it
shalafi@lemmy.world 3 months ago
They already have Onan as a Biblical source.
pH3ra@lemmy.ml 3 months ago
You’re free to go if you just donate the sperm to a fertility clinic every time you crank one out.
Follow me form more loopholes
Mickey7@lemmy.world 3 months ago
After a week, the clinic would say, “not you again”
pH3ra@lemmy.ml 3 months ago
After the first afternoon probably
linkinkampf19@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Sadly this isn’t a joke…
cAUzapNEAGLb@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Real bill, but he’s trolling
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 3 months ago
So guess you could call this a case of…
(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) ``` Poe’s Law
jeffw@lemmy.world 3 months ago
It is, quite literally, a joke. The point is to mock conservatives
linkinkampf19@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Oh I misread it this whole time… The insanity in week one alone has really messed with my psyche.
RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 3 months ago
I’d leave, because I’d literally be danger of jail at least twice a day. Straight to jail.
yamaonan@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Ah yes, the ol’ Sin of Onan
Rhoeri@lemmy.world 3 months ago
This should protect an untold amount of children from future congressional…. “acts.”
Mickey7@lemmy.world 3 months ago
How about something that is NOT a joke. If you are a Catholic you only have sex when you are married. You only have sex to recreate. You never have sex that does not end with the man injecting his sperm into his wife’s vagina.
So what this means is any type of contraception is forbidden. Forget anal sex. Forget blow jobs and swallowing. Forget your wife is really not into it but willing to give you a quick suck and finish you off by hand.
There are many who say they are Catholics but I have no idea how many actually follow these rules. But they are the rules and as absurd as they sound the clergy still defend them.
saigot@lemmy.ca 3 months ago
There are many who say they are Catholics but I have no idea how many actually follow these rules.
guttmacher.org/…/guttmacher-statistic-catholic-wo…
In April 2011, the Guttmacher Institute published the results of an analysis finding that 99% of all women of reproductive age who have ever had sex—including 98% of such Catholic women—have used a method of contraception other than natural family planning.
By their early 20s, some 79% of never-married women—and 89% of never-married Catholic women—have had sex
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 3 months ago
I spent 20 years as a Catholic, and I never met one who cared about any of the rules. It’s just a hobby for them.
Mickey7@lemmy.world 3 months ago
I have found the same thing. Which always makes me wonder why be part of a group if you are not going to follow the group rules
Treczoks@lemmy.world 3 months ago
At the moment it still is a joke. But some things that sounded like bad jokes years ago are currently become reality.
Without any problems I can imagine this text entering the political stage in the not-so-far future.