Collect your fart while taking a bath. Submerge an open jar, once it’s full of water, invert the jar and position it above the collection zone. Any farts released will bubble into the jar in their full potency. Lid the jar, label it, and refrigerate for maximum freshness.
Is it possible to bottle a fart while maintaining its freshness?
Submitted 2 months ago by wesker@lemmy.sdf.org to [deleted]
Comments
Greg@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
mostNONheinous@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Greg@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
haha, this is amazing. The only thing I would add to that video is to lift the base of the jar out of the water while the rim is still submerged before putting on the lid. Otherwise the jar will have a positive pressure and the fart will explode out when the lid is opened.
swordgeek@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
As hilarious as this is, it doesn’t really address the question of whether farts will maintain their potency in a jar, or if they’ll degrade in the presence of air.
If farts never lost their potency, the entire planet should be unbearable by now.
XeroxCool@lemmy.world 2 months ago
And yet, somehow, I’ve very recently seen a video of someone actually farting into a bath jar.
JamesStallion@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Step 1: do not poop for three days straight
shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
What are you planning on doing with this information?
Etterra@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Well if they’re an e-girl they’re going to sell it online for a hundred bucks.
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 2 months ago
Establishing my legacy.
HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
A prank from when I was like 11 was to put a cookie in a Tupperware, fart in it and quickly close the lid
MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
That is evil! I love it!
damnthefilibuster@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Short answer - Yes. stinkycandlecompany.com/products/fart-candle
Longer answer - all smellable scents are composed of chemicals that our scent receptors can understand, primarily by having the chemical compounds actually arrive into our noses and touch the receptors. What that means is that a fart is composed of very fine “shit particles” that float about till they enter your nose and cause you to smell it.
While an individual fart may be difficult or impossible to bottle, since it contains very few particles needed to either store or replicate successfully, the existence of fart candles displays that farts can be emulated by scent manufacturers by studying the chemical composition of farts.
I wonder how many farts it would have taken for scent manufacturers to successfully replicate a particularly pungent fart!
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 2 months ago
If farts are just methane gas, why don’t they all smell as delightful as mine?
RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Because they are not only methane gas. There are other chemicals mized in different amounts.
itsathursday@lemmy.world 2 months ago
If you watch the movie Jack with Robin Williams, his character farts in a tin and the other kids smell it, so by way of plausible movie science, yes.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 months ago
God dammit. I JUST replied to someone with a joke answer of what the most pointless question is.
And then IMMEDIATELY see this! This one is so much better at being a joke pointless question!!!
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 2 months ago
I am looking for a serious answer.
db2@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You looking to get in to politics or something?
DebatableRaccoon@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
I’m not sure ‘freshness’ is quite the word you’re looking for. Maybe try ‘potency’ on for size.
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 2 months ago
Deliciousness.
bizzle@lemmy.world 2 months ago
“potent” is a gross word
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 months ago
yes
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Freshness?
That’s a giant no. All of the stuff that makes a fart smell like a fart are too volatile to store.
Yeah, the main constituents are stable enough, but methane alone does not a fart make. Besides, not all farts contain methane.
The stuff that smells is what matters for freshness. Hydrogen sulfide (rotten egg), methanethiole (cabbage-like), scatole & indole (poop smell), dimethyl sulfide (garlicky) are the ones that are less than pleasant.
But there’s stuff like lemonine and pinene as well. They don’t smell unpleasant to most people, but in the wrong proportions, they can contribute to unpleasantness alongside others.
And all that’s just the main, common ones. You get traces of stuff like cadaverine sometimes.
The thing most (actually all, but I want to give leeway for the internet) of that have in common isn that they react with other things to some degree or another. They interact with each other in an enclosed space. Hydrogen sulfide is (iirc), the most stable of them, but it isn’t exactly going to sit unchanged in a container forever with the other ones.
There’s actually a decent amount of research into the digestive processes that involve gasses because they’re a big indicator of how things are working in the gut. There’s patterns of flatulence contents that vary between people with various digestive issues (like IBS, and IBD in terms of chronic conditions). Active infections change the patterns during infection, and may cause long term changes as well.
An interesting side note is that the chemicals that make farts is that they’re also found in rotting bodies, and rotting vegetation, though the proportions and exact chemicals vary between all of those. Digestion is controlled decay, if you want a pithy little phrase to piss off pedants :)
It isn’t even an inaccurate phrase; a lot of what happens in decomposition of animals (including humans) is driven by enzymes and bacteria, including the same ones found in our gut. But it’ll piss off pedants anyway, because it isn’t exactly the same thing.
There’s a reason that feces, flatulence, rot, bad breath, and even burning things can share smells in common. There’s a reason skunk spray, or musk, or even stale sweat have similarities that our noses can detect. Chemistry, chemical reactions.
They’re also partially done by itty bitty critters crawling on and in everything. Those smells in our farts, poop, and rotting flesh are all germ farts. They’re the waste products of bacteria (and fungi) eating our waste, the waste of everything. Those microbes are chemical factories.
It’s pretty fucking cool.
qjkxbmwvz@startrek.website 2 months ago
So we need to freeze our farts and thaw them out when we need them. Got it.
5oap10116@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Loooool
TranquilTurbulence@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
That’s incredible. Do you have like a PhD in flatulometry?
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Tbh, I could probably fake it and get away with it as long as nobody dug too deep. For a while, anyway lol
Just an interested party for multiple reasons, none of them kink related (I promise, even though saying it means nobody will ever believe it)
XeroxCool@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Which is the chemical responsible for the overlap in smells between some of my farts and Wendy’s chicken nuggets? Help me Booty-wan, you’re my only hope
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
That would likely be more the retained lipids. Does your poo float well? If so, that’s likely the cause.
Acrolin (spelling may be wrong, I’m too tired too look it up lol) is the main chemical you smell from over heated oils. There’s also several types of aldehydes made as a byproduct of digesting fats, and they’ll tend to be more present when the fats didn’t get totally broken down.
But that’s usually something you smell more in poop than flatus. What you’re smelling in the gas is most likely traces akin to the levels of things like cadaverine that aren’t a main component produced as a gas the way hydrogen sulfide is.
That’s best guess.
If your poo is floating most of the time, and you’re smelling that distinct fried food aroma, might want to cut back on your fat intake a little. Or switch more to polyunsaturated fats at least. It’s okay if poo floats sometimes, but it should be either neutral buoyant, or sinking most of the time. If there’s enough fat that it floats regularly, that’s almost always a sign that you’re taking in too much, too often. Polyunsaturated fats won’t change that, but at least they’re a teeny bit less problematic healthwise (as of current best practices I’m aware of).
If it’s not floating, or the smell isn’t coming along with fatty foods, get your gall bladder checked just to be extra, extra safe. Something like half the people I’ve known that ended up having theirs removed had issues with their poo looking and smelling funny, often with higher fat levels and unusual smelling gas. Not saying it’s some kind of “oh my god” thing, it’s just being super cautious.