Comment on Anon meets up with a girl

qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• PunnyName@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Well then neither of them is getting what they want.

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  • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Sad but probably true.

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• pupbiru@aussie.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  i will never understand the inability for people not to have amazing sex with their friends

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  • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Anon couldn’t have sex with a friend because anon wanted to have sex with a prostitute.

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  • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Somewhere along the line, when you finally meet the person that truly meets all your expectations for a life together, your friend:

    • Have they told you we used to fuck?

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    • Daefsdeda@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Oh no my current partner has had sex before with someone and they are grown up enough to still be able to talk with them. /s

      But for real though, it is more a green flag for me than a red flag.

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      • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        The above is oversimplified and written to elicite a chuckle but most people aren’t that comfortable with having another human being (I don’t discriminate; just aiming for the most probable scenario) their significant other used to pork on a more or less distant past staying around. Most will have doubts about their relationship and its heading. Or even worst.

        Monkey brain and pride computes around “If they porked in the past, did they stop completely or is it a come and go situation?” Humans are strange creatures.

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    • Honytawk@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      “Thanks for giving them the experience needed to satisfy my sexual needs”

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    • pupbiru@aussie.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      And any partner of mine in that situation would be like cool… 3some? And everyone has fun

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  • echodot@feddit.uk ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I don’t want to have sex with my friends. I know where they’ve been.

    Anyway people’s relationships are complicated, there’s plenty of people I like who I do not find attractive.

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• chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Well I guess he will find out based on whether or not she ever contacts him again.

  Really though this does seem like the kind of thing where “it’s because you’re sexually repulsive” only seems like the obvious explanation because of insecurity brainworms.

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  • LANIK2000@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s a very common conclusion among men. Before I finally met my gf at 23, I thought the same thing. Getting friend zoned left and right and pushed away while everyone else is whoring all day everyday for as far as you can remember makes you feel like an expired rotting piece of shit. Sentences like “You’re too good, you deserve better”, “Someone must like you, you’re great!” or even sentences from oder women like “Oh, girls must like you handsome.” just start feeling like thinly veiled insults, like everyone is making fun of you, even if they aren’t.

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    • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      That’s gotta be rough. Those comments sound like they carry the same accidentally-condescending energy as telling a confused kid, “Oh, don’t worry. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

      I mean, yes that’s probably true, but it sounds dismissive of one’s concerns and does nothing to allay the frustration they’re feeling now.

      Unfortunately, I’m not sure what the right response would be, but maybe there simply isn’t one?

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      • LANIK2000@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yea no clue, it’s tough. What finally helped me out of it was me being lucky enough to have a good friend that connected me with a like minded soul. Turns out I was just surrounded by assholes and broken people and needed that jump out into a different community. It’s why I feel especially bad for these incel types, because I fear if I didn’t have that friend, I’d be the same a couple years later. They feel abandoned and they might be right in a weird twisted way. But without a healthy path to improve and actually achieve meaningful connections with people, it’s just fucked.

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    • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I think a common conclusion in general, I dated a woman once whose mind went to that explanation constantly for all kinds of things and it was basically always a distorted picture of reality. I think people just don’t get needed validation due mostly to arbitrary bullshit and the world sucking and that makes it easy to buy into toxic self hating memes.

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  • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If that was the case, why bother with all the build up? And why sugar coat it? Even sex workers are in their right to deny a costumer.

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    • LANIK2000@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      This ^^^ It would also hurt a lot less, than letting the poor guy guess what she’s thinking.

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• LANIK2000@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Considering that this kind of soft unspoken rejection is the same tactic women use to lose pickup “artists” and other perceived predators or just unwanted people, if in anon’s shoes, this is the moment I’d consider running away for my own peace of mind. In my experience, it’s a good idea to not stick around people that reject you on the basis of being “too good”.

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  • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Very roundabout way to do it.

    As I stated in another comment, even sex workers have the right to refuse a customer.

    From my perspective, this is the kind of approach/behavior that feeds stalkers and worst.

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    • LANIK2000@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m a bit confused by your comment, but I think we agree?

      Sex workers absolutely should reject someone if they don’t want to. But this kind of “hell yes, but fuck no” shenanigans just leads to a lot of headaches. I’d say in any context.

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      • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        We agree.

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• MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I’m betting that this is exactly what happened. That girl, in all probability, has been treated like meat most of her life. There’s a nontrivial chance that she’s a victim of some kind of abuse.

  So having a real connection to someone who doesn’t just treat you like meat, and is only interested in what she can do for/to them, is probably very different than the interactions she normally has.

  It’s sad, but likely true.

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  • buddascrayon@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You just keep going on with that fantasy. I’m sure it’ll give you some enjoyment in the dark of the night.

    Meanwhile in the real world anons who treat girls like they’re some kind of sex vending machine don’t come off as friend material. Their intentions are very obvious. I think it more likely she just didn’t want repeat business.

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• buddascrayon@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Then she apparently chose wrong cause that anon is an A class douche bag who only saw her as and easy way to get his rocks off.

  I think it more likely she just didn’t want repeat business from this particular customer. But who knows? (other than the girl of she’s not just a figment of a deranged imagination)

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• UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  she wanted to keep him as someone she can spend time as a person and not a sexual object?

  Not to put too fine a point on it, but you can do both. That’s the entire idea of having a boyfriend/girlfriend.

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  • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Yes and no.

    I swing more towards the direction of a non-sexual relationship of any kind.

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    • qarbone@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Then I’d imagine you wouldn’t be a neighborhood prostitute and run an onlyfans.

      Although I shouldn’t presume.

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      • qyron@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        No, you should not. But everyone is in right to their opinion.

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