As a trans girl, I can confidently say that I have a much easier time hanging out with girls I just met than I ever had hanging out with guys I just met. Although both do happen and aren’t too uncommon.
Comment on handling strays
yakko@feddit.uk 2 months ago
I wish this was my experience. I’ve seen that women look after each other a lot better generally.
SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
yakko@feddit.uk 2 months ago
It’s cool to have intrepid folks who have crossed that threshold, and can confirm firsthand for us that boys are just not that well socialised. We need to be raising boys to be much kinder and more thoughtful.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I’d like to hear the trans boy perspective too. Maybe the trans girls felt uneasy being surrounded by men.
SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
I definitely did feel a little out of place around men, and many of my friends were women (even before my egg cracked). Uneasy is probably the wrong word, more just like an outsider.
I definitely wouldn’t make the claim “men are not that well socialized” (although that may well be true - but I couldn’t speak to that purely from my own experience)
Warl0k3@lemmy.world 1 month ago
While not a trans man, I have a great many friends that are - and all of them have really struggled with the social isolation men face. “It shouldn’t be like this” no shit dude, but this is unfortunately what you signed up for and it’s gonna be a fuck of a lot of work to fix it, welcome to the team.
apotheotic@beehaw.org 1 month ago
Trans girl here sharing the same sentiment
aeiou@piefed.social 2 months ago
I think it depends on age, from what I’d seen older men seem to have a harder time meeting new friends than women
LordMayor@piefed.social 1 month ago
I wonder if it’s just a pack mammal thing. Like the way young male lions hang out in groups but the older ones are solitary especially if they have a pride.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Any other older men looking to make friends: consider trying Dungeons and Dragons. No you are not too old. It’s got the vibe of a regular poker game - sitting around a table, joking, smoking/drinking - but you can be extremely poor. The device on which you’re reading this is all you really need.
jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 1 month ago
Tabletop RPGs are a good and cost effective hobby. You can play DND with the free “SRD” rules posted online, but you won’t get the fancy pictures and all the extras.
There are other games like it that are even cheaper. My personal favorite is Fate. Free rules, only needs four six sided dice.
The main problem is finding a good group to play with. DND is mega popular so if you’re just looking for social, it’s a good starting point. If you’re not into fantasy, you can branch off into other games later.
aeiou@piefed.social 1 month ago
can confirm, I am a large lazy cat
SupraMario@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Even social hobbies you have issues at?
yakko@feddit.uk 1 month ago
I don’t have any social hobbies at the minute. It is not ideal
SupraMario@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Time to find one or two. That will help a massive ton.
yakko@feddit.uk 1 month ago
All my time goes to work and my kid, and until my wife has a solid income again I pretty much have no time to do any real living outside of my obligations.
Been this way for four years, but we’re almost there. Setbacks along the way. Becoming an immigrant in another country didn’t help, tell you h’wat.
Deceptichum@quokk.au 2 months ago
That’s been my experience too. Men are very standoffish or happy to be alone, women see another woman alone and want to adopt them like a stray kitten.
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You guys need a dog catcher in your group. This is one of those archetypes that gets over looked because it feels like something that’s part of several other archetypes, but it really makes a difference to have it stand alone.
It’s in the name, he catches strays. This is the guy that pulls groups together from separate circles, introduces new guys to the group, or occasionally plays match maker. He’s probably running your Discord server or keeps putting you in group chats, he’s the one that does the logistics planning when it comes to more complicated outings Lee week long trips and bachelor parties. In public outings he probably makes friends with staff or other queue waiters. He’s probably the guy that stages interventions but out of genuine care.
There are others that can fill the role, golden retriever boys are good at the finding people but too dumb to coordinate. Fearless leaders can attract crowds but normally don’t have the personal touch to keep anyone new long term. Sheep dogs are great at keeping new boys in the group but they don’t invite new people. More often than not, the dog catcher will be playing another role in the group because their current services aren’t being utilized so he’s either not invested in it or your group is one of his secondary groups. If you’re scrolling through your contacts trying to figure out who I’m taking about, if you’re the forever DM, or if your boys keep saying “whatever happened to X” and you’re the guy that reminds them, you’re probably the dog catcher.
flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
I’ve never heard these words used to describe social dynamics, but it all makes perfect sense. And TIL I’m a golden retriever.
slothrop@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Who’s a good boi…?
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Just remember that your high energy and positive vibe are likely the delight of everyone around you. You don’t need to be a master planner to keep the spirits high.
tomiant@piefed.social 1 month ago
In some forms of social psychology they’re labeled “bridgers”, as far as I recollect. They are not archetypes at all and have nothing to do with Jungian psychology. It’s also fairly pseudo-scientific.