Sitting can be very difficult first thing in the morning sometimes. Well, not the sitting part but the getting your dick to point down into the bowl part.
Comment on Anon has had enough
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
falseWhite@lemmy.world 9 months ago
On those days you lie down on the toilet in a planking position, penis pointing down into the toilet
NABDad@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Some mornings, after you sit, you need to bend over until your forehead is on your feet.
RacerX@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
I prefer to put my hands on the floor and lift my feet up against the wall.
SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Well step 1 should be: Beat that meat into submission
merde@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
1+1=2
2+2=4
4+4=8
8+8=16
16+16=32
32+32=64
64+64=128
128+128=256
256+256=512
512+512=1024
1024+1024=2048
2048+204… submission (if not, sing this, with the same voice ☞ music.youtube.com/watch?v=NfnTKUkCafo
untorquer@lemmy.world 9 months ago
DO NOT FUCK UP STEP 7
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Don’t kink shame
untorquer@lemmy.world 9 months ago
No kink shaming. Simply put, “Under the seat” is NOT equivalent to “towards the bowel”. If you get off on the gamble then flow free my friend.
falseWhite@lemmy.world 9 months ago
You’re either a woman or have a small pee pee and never had your pee pee touch the inside of the toilet bowl when you try to stick it into the tiny gap between your groin and the toilet basin
catnip@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
How do you poop? Do you hold your dick up?
falseWhite@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Where do you put your ass when you poop?
wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 months ago
That has a lot less to do with the size of your cock and way more to do with the size of your ass.
Lose some weight. I’m well endowed and have only ever had an issue of “where penis go” when I tried to go while fully erect when I was a string bean of a teenager, and again as an adult when I weighed around 275 lbs and tried to go with a chub.
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 9 months ago
But then, wouldn’t it flop tothe floor? It makes no sense!
decipher_jeanne@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 months ago
[deleted]bus_factor@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Neither my ass nor my dick are particularly large, but my dick still touches the front of the bowl if I don’t hold it back the entire time I’m sitting. So that’s what I do. A little cumbersome to only have one hand for pulling, ripping and folding the toilet paper, but not really an issue.
I still stand when I pee, though.
snoons@lemmy.ca 9 months ago
You forgot the most important step:
- Wash your roommates hairy ass grease off the seat.
Usually why I stand.
blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 months ago
You forgot to state that the lid should be up
Now I’ve got piss everywhere
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
snoons@lemmy.ca 9 months ago
I keep all my bathroom stuff in my room because none of the people I’ve ever lived with have thought it worth their time to put down the lid when they flush.
404@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
And the pants, lowered all the way to the floor, are swimming in a pool of piss