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Comment on Anon has had enough

Apytele@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

So there’s this really cool trick:

Face AWAY from the toilet with the heels of your feet close to the base.
Un-button/tie/velcro/zip the whole waistband (not just the fly) such that you can-
Lower your entire pants to the floor.

Now this part can be a bit tricky and does take some practice to keep your balance but

Bend your knees down into a squat while leaning ever so slightly backwards (you can put a hand on a nearby solid object such as the sink or a wall to steady yourself. They also make raised seats with handles on either side if you need help with this).
Situate your buttocks firmly on the seat.
Separate your thighs such that you can
Point your penis down between your legs towards the toilet bowl.
Proceed to urinate.
Hygiene is the same as peeing using other techniques.

This technique is all but foolproof; it is almost impossible to miss the toilet bowl.

Hope this helps!

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blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You forgot to state that the lid should be up

Now I’ve got piss everywhere

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- Apytele@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  OK you have a point that I will only grant because I’m so used to finding the lid left up despite my best efforts.
  
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untorquer@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
DO NOT FUCK UP STEP 7

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tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
Sitting can be very difficult first thing in the morning sometimes. Well, not the sitting part but the getting your dick to point down into the bowl part.

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- falseWhite@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  On those days you lie down on the toilet in a planking position, penis pointing down into the toilet
  
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- NABDad@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Some mornings, after you sit, you need to bend over until your forehead is on your feet.
  
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  - RacerX@lemmy.zip ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    I prefer to put my hands on the floor and lift my feet up against the wall.
    
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- SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Well step 1 should be: Beat that meat into submission
  
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  - merde@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    1+1=2
    2+2=4
    4+4=8
    8+8=16
    16+16=32
    32+32=64
    64+64=128
    128+128=256
    256+256=512
    512+512=1024
    1024+1024=2048
    2048+204… submission (if not, sing this, with the same voice ☞ music.youtube.com/watch?v=NfnTKUkCafo
    
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falseWhite@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You’re either a woman or have a small pee pee and never had your pee pee touch the inside of the toilet bowl when you try to stick it into the tiny gap between your groin and the toilet basin

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- catnip@lemmy.zip ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  How do you poop? Do you hold your dick up?
  
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  - falseWhite@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Where do you put your ass when you poop?
    
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    wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    That has a lot less to do with the size of your cock and way more to do with the size of your ass.
    
    Lose some weight. I’m well endowed and have only ever had an issue of “where penis go” when I tried to go while fully erect when I was a string bean of a teenager, and again as an adult when I weighed around 275 lbs and tried to go with a chub.
    
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    AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    But then, wouldn’t it flop tothe floor? It makes no sense!
    
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snoons@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
You forgot the most important step:

Wash your roommates hairy ass grease off the seat.

Usually why I stand.
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