So the homeless guy is at the train station again. This time I spoke to him. Introduced myself as the neighbour, reassured him he is welcome to water, he needs water. Thanked him for watering my plants. Then asked if he needed help, told him about the facilities at the beach, asked if he had family. Offered money. He rejected all help. I told him that we are all part of society and that means caring and accepting help if needed. I can’t help someone if they don’t want help.
He has family , something is up if he doesn’t want them.
he looked so rough, thin, unkempt, full of cuts and bruises, and I think he had pneumonia.
but I think it made him feel a bit better to be treated kindly and with respect
Alamutjones@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
My heart hurts.
I’m not angry. I was never angry. I’m just…so sad. I wish I had understood.
This whole time I’ve been terrified of making a mistake and locking myself into a mortgage on an apartment that wasn’t the right one - I intended for this to be my home for the rest of my life, or at least for the next twenty years. I was so stressed about the possibility of picking wrong, and turns out I made a huge mistake right from the first because I hadn’t understood the nature of the agreement or hence the search.
I don’t know what exactly what would be different if I HAD understood, but I’d have set my hopes somewhere different and not be grieving them now
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
My personal view is that some rage is entirely justified in this situation. My view only, but I think you were misled, possibly accidentally, but still misled. I also think that your family suffered a rush of blood to their collective heads when the process started, and their expectations altered in consequence as they realised all the various possibilities available. But imo they are primarily thinking of their own needs/wants, and I think yours got lost along the way.
Now, however, you are in receipt of much more accurate information and can go forward armed with that.
I do think that your family needs to consider whether or not they actually need to buy a dedicated apartment for their own use. One that has nothing to do with you and which fits their needs perfectly. You can even help them search for it. You can still offer hospitality as and when required if that suits you, but if they are going to be that picky about the space they need then they need to understand the consequences and costs - to you as well as them.
Your needs come first here. After all, you are going to be living in the space full time and your needs should be the priority imo.
This might be a bit cheeky, but you could ask if they will let you have a locked room, for your own exclusive use, at their house in Mornington. Because I bet they will refuse because ‘it’s their house’. This might bring home to them exactly what they are asking you for.
Alamutjones@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
I will never be able to afford the kind of home I want.
That was the appeal of it for me. The extra money meant I could stretch to “a comfortable apartment” rather than “a student shitbox with no kitchen or natural light”
I thought provision and use of a guest room was a fair exchange for being able to buy and live in something nicer. So I agreed…
…but it’s not a guest room.
Alamutjones@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
They have a guest room which I use.
My understanding of what I was providing them came largely from what they provide me - the guest room they set up has their art on the walls and a few useful items (a small ladder etc) in the wardrobe, which is about the level of use I imagined.
I imagined some bookshelves and a chair in one corner so I could sit in there and read. That’s all.
I didn’t want to LIVE in it. I’d have a perfectly good bedroom and bathroom of my own. I just want to be able to put some of my more neutral belongings in it, so the space isn’t completely useless to me when they’re not present to use it.
Apparently that was not the agreement. I was explicitly told “it’s not a guest room. We don’t want your art or your books in our space”
…which is quite different to what I understood the situation to be.
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
What you need to do is put you first. Your needs come first. Your accessibility comes first. Your comfort comes first. Be strong. We love you. ❤️
Alamutjones@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
The only stuff I can afford on a revised budget without their help is shitty student dogboxes, smaller and darker than I have now.
I need to move. My neighbours are unhinged. But I can’t afford to do it.
What am I going to do?
StudChud@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
Oh I’m so mad for you, your parents did you dirty on this. I’m so sorry, Alamut, you deserve better 💜
Alamutjones@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
It’s my fault. I didn’t understand the offer, but assumed I knew.
That’s on me