Killing time in the doctor's waiting room

Comments

• Akasazh@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Apparently Salvador Dali was a practitioner:

  According to Roger Peyrefitte, Dali’s invariably well-informed housekeeper, Dali had a large collection of dildos which he would offer to his models of either sex when he had a little indulgence in mind. Some of these dildos irreverently had the heads of unexpected people on their shafts: the Pope, Hitler, St. Teresa of Avila, de Gaulle, and others. Dali also liked to refer to the male member as “the limousine”. Dining with pop singer Amanda Lear at Maxim’s, he observed that, to judge by his nose, the gentleman at the next table must have a big limousine. In Cadaques, Dali liked visiting a young man whose erect member was reputed to be so hard that one could crack nuts open on it. Things of this kind aroused Dali’s admiration. He compared the vagina to a cauliflower and commented that it was Nature’s ruse to ensure reproduction, but that the true organ of love was the anus. In the vagina one might poke about without really knowing what one was up to, but in the arsehole there was no room for any such uncertainty. Dali made these observations in a conversation recorded for French television (though of course it was never broadcast), and declared roundly: “The most important thing in the world is the arsehole.” For Dali, the body no longer had any secrets. He had devised a special procedure (which interested Roger Peyrefitte greatly) to ensure that a woman on all fours would present her anus to greatest advantage: he would place a spirit level on her back, and when the air bubble was precisely in the middle, he claimed, her anus would flower in its full glory. On occasions, he would ask female visitors to sit on a bed of moist clay with their buttocks parted, in order to take an impression of their orifices. He would subsequently frame the impressions, adding the names of the ladies in question. Supposedly -and this again demonstrates Dali’s tirelessly investigative cast of mind - the anus has thirty-five or thirty-seven little creases which are as unique as fingerprints. He regretted that he could not account for the variation in number, but noted that it had nothing to do with social class, and that thirty-fives were as likely to be found among the aristocracy as among the working classes. Only the backsides of identical twins had exactly the same pattern and number of creases. He conducted experiments to substantiate his claim, and made the impressions of twins’ behinds into candelabra.

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  • ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    As a scientist, I am amazed at his dedication, and I wish to know his secrets to funding so that I needn’t fight for funding on harder subjects any longer.

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    • boobookittyfrick@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Alas it was a labor of love

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    • Akasazh@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Have you considered a career in illustrative arts and surrealism?

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    • pmjv@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      become the first influencer in history. oops.

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  • Apytele@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You know, most multicellular organisms don’t have a vagina, but most of them DO have an anus. Something to think about.

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  • Forester@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Damn and I thought I liked ass

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  • Tiger@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Good grief

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  • mbp@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A man of exquisite taste

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• SoupBrick@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  New RPG class just dropped:

  Anomancer

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• PattyMcB@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Image

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• CEO_Monk@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  What would you be able to decipher from a persons anus folds? The amount of times they put something up their ass?

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  • suxen_tsihcrana@anarchist.nexus ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Yup. And number of raccoons, things like that

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    How often they wipe after pooping.

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• AviAdi@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Image

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• Simulation6@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Looks like a well thumbed volume

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• jownz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  That’s amazing! 😂

  I drop copies of this book all over the place too!

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• Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Forward by Hilary Rodhammer Clinton and Joe “Biddy-Biddy-Bing-Bong” Biden

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• BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I can’t help but feel that this would be far more popular than palm reading, if it were to ever take off.

  Out with friends and family at a major tourist location, looking to escape the heat during the afternoon lull. A small shop window with mystic anus(i/es) painted across the window.

  With one of those glass balls and a good light source I bet you could make it into a collaborative experience. Comparing asshole creases and talking about life and your hopes and dreams.

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• Gates9@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Few possess the intellectual capacity to fully appreciate the prophetic power of anomancy

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• BoosBeau@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Image

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