Comments

• affenlehrer@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  My 4 year old told me I shouldn’t worry about the price of the toys she wants for Christmas because Santa will buy them…

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  • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Tell her Santa has a tight budget this year.

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    • Venat0r@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      but only for poor children… 😅

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• Broadfern@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  This is why “it costs nothing to be kind” always rubbed me the wrong way.

  Like, yes it does cost, at least to some degree, energy/money/time to put on some form of extroversion or extra effort when things are being asked of you. That’s not to say it’s never worth it, but for those of us with more limited capacity (although everyone has a set capacity) there’s only so much available to extend before burnout.

  Whenever I can afford it, I take time to be kind. I can’t always stop and give money or extend myself mentally to strangers or acquaintances, though. I don’t expect them to, either. Problematic contacts who ask a lot of emotional resources without offering in return, as well.

  I think the term is “compassion fatigue.” /rant

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  • mugthol@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I’d say rhat the saying is more about saying “thank you” to the cashier and less about giving money

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  • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I dunno man, maybe it’s just how I was raised, but I don’t feel this at all. Not being a piece of shit takes zero effort and energy in my experience. It’s just the default.

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  • MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Seems like there’s a disconnect in the replies. I think the issue is that some people use kindness to mean the bare minimum and some people use it to mean going above and beyond.

    I think the measure is something like if you see someone who tripped and the contents of their bag has spilled onto the floor, is “it cost nothing to be kind” just “allow them some space and don’t step on their stuff even if it’s in your way” or is it “stop what you’re doing and try to help them”. Because in case 1 I agree with the sentiment. You’re technically doing something (being careful not to step on their stuff), but that really feels like the bare minimum and to a certain extent I’d have questions if someone complained about having to do things like that. In the second case, stopping does take time out of your day and now you’re interacting with a stranger who may be busy or distracted and not pleasant back to you. I’d say that’s a nice thing to do, but I can see why someone might not want to or not be able to assist with that if they came across it in certain circumstances. If I was in the position of the person whose stuff spilled I would not talk about “kind strangers” who didn’t step on my stuff, but would if someone stopped to help. I think the phrase refers to the bare minimum but calls it kindness so people can feel good about not following their basest instincts if they’re genuinely rude people.

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    • Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Kinda like decency vs kimdness

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• fakir@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Being nice to nice people doesn’t take energy at all, instead it energizes us. But being nice to not so nice people, now that takes effort, i.e. use of mental resources, which can only be sustained for so long before the battery drains out, and you need a nap.

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  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Different people are different. For some people mere social interaction is draining even if they are interacting with genuinely nice people.

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• tomiant@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I wonder how many parents don’t realize that their children parrot things they see in kids’ shows and on YouTube. My brother and his gf when they had my nephew, they were so psyched he was painting all these “monsters”, that he had obviously watched online and just started drawing, and they were telling everyone what a great artist he was and how original he is.

  I mean he IS awesome and original, his parents are just are completely out of sync with his interests, which is like SCP foundation and Pokemon.

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• lvxferre@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Her 5yo got it right.

  By default you should be nice to people. Care about their needs, avoid offending them (and if you do, apologise), avoid unnecessarily lies, all that thing. And since most people are surprisingly reasonable, they’ll do the same towards you.

  However. There’s always “that” arsehole, petty, assumptive person. No matter how nice you are towards them, they won’t be nice to you. Don’t be nice to them - even if on the outside it’s irrelevant, it’ll eat you from the inside and make you feel like shit.

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  • JamesBoeing737MAX@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    “Most people don’t want you to die in a concentration camp.”

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    • lvxferre@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I am talking about the sort of everyday interaction that would make a 5yo get scolded for not being nice. This is clear by context.

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    • Venat0r@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      most…

      I think they’re referring the few who do want that…

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• Venat0r@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  That 5yr old might be an actual psychopath 😅

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